The Womb Twin World Blog

Womb Twin Loss at Birth - or - Baby Stealing???

2012-01-19T21:23:00.001Z

This is a story about twin/baby stealing in Spain, but when you think about it, this could have gone on anywhere at anytime. It sounds just like my story which took place in Michigan, USA in 1963 - my parents were told my twin died at birth but years later I was unable to locate any information about what happened to her. Although they donated her to science, there was no record of where she ended up. That may be customary for science donations, as I was told by the hospital and nearby university that she may have ended up in a mass grave or cremated. She could even be floating in a jar as a specimen for all I know. But reading this story made me think perhaps they could have falsified or exaggerated her condition to increase the chances of a science donation so that there would be less of a trail...I will never know if this is just a fantasy about looking for my twin or if this could really be the case. In any event, my heart goes out to the Vega family and I am thrilled they care enough to search for their son in case they can tell him he wasn't abandoned by them. They are wonderful parents!

Families fight to find children stolen as infants in Spain
Fri Dec 16, 2011 1:50 PM EST
By Kate Snow and Jessica Hopper
Rock Center

Luis Vega is on a mission to meet every man born in Madrid, Spain on Nov. 20, 1977. That's the day doctors told him that his baby son was stillborn, but he and his wife, Ines, believe their child was in fact stolen from the hospital.

“We have a son somewhere out there,” Luis Vega said.

The Vega family isn’t alone in believing their child was stolen. This year, more than a thousand families have come forward with claims that they were victims of baby trafficking committed by a variety of networks from the 1940s until as recently as the early 1990s.

Armed with a list of the 61 names of boys born in Madrid on the same day he lost his son, Vega is making calls and knocking on doors because he is convinced his son is alive.

“What we just want only, is to tell him, ‘You have not been abandoned,’” Vega said.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

For Vega, the memory of his son’s birth is still fresh. He and his wife went to a hospital in Madrid on a Sunday in November 1977. They were already parents to one son and believed they were expecting just one more child when they received surprising news: they were having twins.

“I started to think, I got two,” Vega said. “So, I was absolutely excited, astonished.”

The excitement faded when doctors came to Vega and told him that one of the twins, a boy, was dead.

“I felt frozen,” he said.

Vega said the doctor told him, “I recommend you not see him.”

At that time in Spain, doctors were authority figures who were virtually unapproachable. Vega simply didn’t question that the doctor was telling the truth.

The doctor told Vega that the hospital would handle the burial of the baby boy. His wife, Ines, was under anesthesia and was unaware of what had happened. Vega ultimately told her the sad news.

The couple comforted one another and did their best to move on with their lives, raising their newborn daughter, Ana, and their older son.

Every year on Ana’s birthday, Luis and Ines talked about her twin, the boy they lost.

This January, Vega and his wife were eating lunch and watching TV when a news report stopped them cold and made them think that the son they’d lost 33 years ago might actually be alive.

An unbelievable story was exploding in the press, allegations that for decades, organized networks stole newborn babies from their mothers and sold the babies to other families. On January 27, more than 250 families filed cases with Spain’s attorney general. That number has since risen to nearly 1500 cases.

Vega and his wife requested documentation from the cemetery where they believed their son had been buried and sent a letter to the hospital where he had been born. Cemetery officials told them that no one had been buried at the cemetery with their family’s last name.

When Vega told his daughter, Ana, that her twin brother might be alive after all, she was shocked.

“I spent like a month with a knot in my stomach. I couldn’t eat,” she said.

Ana Vega created a blog to help in the search for her lost twin.

“We are not looking, you know, for revenge,” she said. “We just want to find him and that’s it and to, if he wants to, you know, be part of our family, great. If he doesn’t, well, you know, that’s his choice as well.”

If anyone is responsible for prompting the discovery of this dark part of Spain’s history, it is documentary filmmaker and author Montse Armengou. Armengou was among the very first to report on systematic baby stealing.

“In Spain, from a long period of time, from the ‘40s until ‘80s as a minimum, we can talk about children that were kidnapped from their families, from their mothers,” Armengou said.

It started as a form of political repression under Fascist dictator Francisco Franco. Franco seized power during the Spanish Civil War in the 1930s. Under his leadership, the government would remove children from mothers who were political prisoners and give them to families who supported the regime.

“[In] the beginning, [it] was a political repression and after became a moral and ideological repression against single mothers. You have to know that during the Franco’s regime, the power of Catholic Church was very, very strong,” Armengou said.

Doctors, often with the help of nuns, would tell young single mothers that their child was dead or force single mothers to give their children up for adoption. At the time, single young women were still considered minors until they were 26 years old.

“It’s impossible to ask for help because you are nothing,” Armengou said. “You are only a single mother. That means that you are nothing, you are garbage, you are waste.”

The political and moral repression became a booming business with families paying the equivalent of what it would cost for an apartment, in order to obtain a child.

For those who believe they are victims of the now defunct organized networks of baby stealing, the legal process has been frustratingly slow. Despite the hundreds of cases filed, no one has been charged with any crime.

“We’re moving as fast as we can. We’re dealing with cases that are incredibly difficult,” said prosecutor Pedro Crespo who has been tasked by Spain’s attorney general to coordinate the hundreds of official investigations across Spain.

Crespo said that the passage of time, incomplete records and the fact that many of those involved are already dead has hampered the investigations.

For some, like the Vega family, the doctor they hold responsible for stealing their child is still alive.

“This bastard has taken our life,” said an emotional Luis Vega.

Vega recently became the president of S.O.S. Bebes Robados Madrid, one of the organizations helping those who think they might be victims.

Vega said that he doesn’t expect he’ll ever truly get justice, but hopes ultimately he’ll find his son.

“I’m convinced,” Vega said. “Otherwise, why [am I] going to fight…I’m fighting for this and everything.”

Weihnachten ohne Zwilling - Christmas whitout Twin

2011-12-25T13:40:00.001Z

Es ist der 25. Dezember und ich fühle mich wieder einmal ganz alleine. Als wäre ich alleine auf der Welt, oder alleine so wie ich bin, während alle rund herum anders sind.

Anders sind, anders fühlen.

Ich weiss dass ich meinen Zwillingsbruder verloren habe, auch wenn fast die ganze Welt das nicht versteht, nicht glaubt und mich als "verrückt" anschaut.

Ich fühle mich halb, fehl am Platz, wie nicht von hier, es zereisst mich, es tut weh, ein Schmerz der nur nachfühlen kann wer selber ein Zwillingsgeschwister verloren hat, sei es nun vor oder nach der Geburt.

Warum soll es nicht wahr sein? Weil es keine anfassbaren oder sichtbaren Beweise gibt?

Elektrizität kann man nicht anfassen aber sie ist da. Der Wind lässt sich auch nicht anfassen und auch um die Entstehung der Erde gibt es viele Rätsel aber sie ist existiert!

Ich habe meine Gefühle schon lange, sie sind identisch mit Menschen bei denen es Beweise gibt dass sie einen Zwilling verloren haben! Wir leiden genauso also warum werden wir ausgeschlossen?

Bei den Zwillingen gehören wir nicht dazu weil wir nur halb sind, bei den Angehörigen von verstorbenen Geschwistern gehören wir wohl auch nicht dazu weil es für unsere Trauer und den Verlust keinen Beweis gibt, zu den Einlingen gehören wir aber auch nicht.

Wo dann????
Wir wollen nicht ausgeschlossen werden!
Wir haben auch eine Zwillingsverbindung, nur leider ist am andern Ende der Fadens nur Leere, aber dafür können wir nichts.

Somatic Experience

2011-11-28T12:27:00.004Z

"It is universally true that the renegotiation of trauma is an inherently mythic-poetic-heroic journey." -Peter Levine

This sounds good to me :)

"Somatic Experiencing® is a body-awareness approach to trauma being taught throughout the world. It is the result of over forty years of observation, research, and hands-on development by Dr. Levine. It is based upon the realization that human beings have an innate ability to overcome the effects of trauma..." More here

And it can help even with perinatal and prenatal trauma, they say...

Ich bin Rina -Teil 2

2011-10-29T19:47:00.001+01:00

Führen wir das fiktive Interview mit mir (Rina) weiter...

Welche Auswirkungen hat der Verlust Deines Zwillingsbruders denn auf Dein Leben?

Ich bin oft wie zwiegespalten, schwanke zum Beispiel zwischen verschiedenen Meinungen, ich bin und war sehr jungenhaft, sei es in der Art oder auch der Kleidung, ich fühle mich manchmal anders als man mich wahrnimmt, (in den Momenten ist es als würde ich und der Zwilling sich vermischen).

Gibt es weitere Auswirkungen? Du erwähntest was von Ängsten

Ja. Ich habe Angst vor dem verlassen werden und wenn ich alleine bin, Angst davor dass die Person welche weggegangen ist, nicht mehr zurückkommt. Ich verabschiede mich oft beim weggehen, komme dann nochmals zurück und verabschiede mich nochmal, für mich ist es wie ein Zwang, für die anderen oft unverständlich und übertrieben.

Wie ist es für Dich Zwillingen zu begegnen?

Hm. Einerseits schön und andererseits sehr schmerzhaft denn sie sind zu zweit, ich nicht. Sie haben etwas was ich nie mehr erleben werde, nämlich diese Verbundenheit die bei mir ins Leere geht.
Auch bei Geschwistern die etwa gleich alt wirken beschäftigt mich das, ich denke immer darüber nach ob es nur Geschwister sind oder Zwillinge, das ist dann ein Gefühl als müsste ich das unbedingt herausfinden obwohl es nichts bringen würde.

Was würdest du in dem Zusammenhang gern tun?

Mit meinen Neffen reden, die sind Zwillinge, sie fragen wie es ist, fragen ob es sich so anfühlt wie ich fühle wenn sie voneinander getrennt sind etc.
Nur das geht nicht, WTS ist noch zu unbekannt, sie würden mich für verrückt halten, vorallem der fehlenden Beweise wegen.

Vielen Dank Rina für Deine Offenheit

Gern geschehen, die Welt muss alles über WTS erfahren, es würde vielen Menschen ihr Leben erleichtern!

In My Secret Life - Leonard Cohen [LYRICS]

2011-10-13T11:05:00.000+01:00

Womb twin survivors always have a secret life that is as secret as unfathomable!

Canada - new developments

2011-10-12T11:10:00.000+01:00

There are two new developments on Canada that have come my way:

Firstly there is a new blog for people living in Canada, hosted by Linda. She is ready to take on a team of bloggers to make the Canada blog a real meeting point for womb twin survivors in Canada. Just read the posts, make a comment and follow the blog. [Visit blog now]

The second development is a course for womb twin survivors.

Do you feel like you have gone through life – like you are surviving an experience – but you don’t know what that is? Do you find you get hung up on things being perfect? Do you feel a hole deep inside where no one can reach – even yourself, and it makes you want to weep when you are aware of it – usually around not feeling loved enough? Do you sabotage relationships? Are you sensitive, feel vulnerable and tend to be an introvert – liking or needing to spend time by yourself? Conversely, do you hate being alone? Do you have a low opinion of yourself, or have a lack of self-love or feel deep grief – about something or someone – but you don’t know why or who? Do you feel that you must go it alone, and do it all yourself?
If you relate to any of this you could be a ‘survivor’ Twin and contacting a Vanishing Twin Specialist or taking the Vanishing Twin and Fetal Life Perceptions Course could well be the best gift you give to yourself! It has made huge changes and brought wonderful awarenesses to my life and the lives of my clients.
Also, being able to access the fetal life period, for anyone, and thereby becoming conscious of perceptions that have been carried throughout our lives opens new levels of understanding and growth.

if you live any where near Toronto this may be worth checking out

Ich bin Rina - uberlebender Zwilling

2011-09-28T08:57:00.001+01:00

Hallo ich bin Rina, 33 Jahre alt. Ich bin ein WTS, ein Womb Twin Survivor.

Was ist das ?

Das heisst, ich bin ein überlebender Zwilling, aber als Einling geboren und als Einzelkind aufgewachsen.

Am Anfang waren wir zwei, ein Junge und ein Mädchen, zweieiige Zwillinge, wir waren wie eine Einheit, irgendwie verbunden. Aber mein Bruder starb, starb direkt neben mir, so nahe und trotzdem konnte ich nichts tun. Auf einmal war ich alleine, muttterseelenallein.

Wie fühlt es sich an, wie lebst Du damit?

Hm. Lassen Sie es mich zu erklären versuchen. Es ist als wärst du nur halb, als fehlt ein Teil, wie ein halbes Foto wo jemand in der Mitte zerrissen hat.
Ich bin halbiert, fühle mich zerrissen, spüre seit ewig eine Sehnsucht wusste aber lange nicht nach was.

Ich habe das Gefühl doppelt zu müssen, doppelt so viel zu leisten, doppelt so viel zu tun um Anerkennung zu finden, und ich bin immer auf der Suche nach irgendetwas. Es ist wie eine Sucht.

Sei es ein Programm, eine Webseite, ein altes Foto, eine Neuigkeit, was anderes, ich suche und suche und verliere mich selber darin. Doch was ich wirklich suche, was sich dahinter versteckt, werde ich nie finden. Meinen Bruder.

Das tönt nicht einfach.

Nein, das ist es oft auch nicht. Es hat so viele Symptome und Auswirkungen auf mein Leben, meine Art, es hat viele Ängste hinterlassen, die sich oft erst nach länger Zeit benennen lassen.

Fortsetzung folgt ....

2011 Womb Twin Conference: press release out today!

2011-09-15T10:35:00.003+01:00

WOMB TWIN INTERNATIONAL CONFERENCE: 19th November 2011

A highly unusual international conference will be held in St Albans in Hertfordshire on Saturday November 19th 2011. This will be the fourth annual conference for Womb Twin, a voluntary organisation dedicated to helping womb twin survivors around the world. They started life in the womb as a twin but their twin died during the pregnancy or around birth. All their lives, they carry a sense of something missing, of having been a twin.

The conference will be organised as a "twin" conference, in two separate but adjoining rooms, with a variety of presentations and workshops running in parallel throughout the day. The founder of Womb Twin, Althea Hayton is anxious for people to know how common it is for a twin to be lost before birth, leaving a single baby. "1 person in 10 is a womb twin survivor, but very few people know anything about this" says Althea. "Womb twin survivors are of all ages - babies, children, teenagers, young people, parents and grandparents like me - but no one believes them when they say they have always known that they once had a twin. This is a vital piece of personal information and every womb twin survivor should know that this is what they are."

When a womb twin survivor comes for therapy, this important piece of personal information may never be discussed by either party, because no one realises the significance of it. If it is mentioned, ideas about having once being a twin may be misdiagnosed as some kind of “personality disorder,” when in fact this is a perfectly normal reaction to a rather unusual prenatal experience. As a result, womb twin survivors are at great risk of misdiagnosis, because of the current lack of good quality medical information about this topic.

An increasing number of medical conditions, including cerebral palsy, congenital disorders, premature birth and metabolic disorders in later life, are now being connected to conditions in the womb. The loss of a twin, particularly a monozygotic (identical) twin, is being implicated in many of these.

"This is a new and very important topic that should be more widely known" says Althea Hayton, founder and Chairman of Womb Twin. "A local GP told me that he made a presentation about this at a conference some years ago, only to be greeted with some scorn by many of his colleagues. It should be different today, for we know much more about life in the womb. We now know how common the "vanishing twin" pregnancies are, and that the sole survivor experiences a profound psychological effect."

"We will continue to hold a conference every year, with expert presenters from various countries of the world, until the world learns to listen to our story. This is a world-wide phenomenon, too prevalent and important to be ignored. "

Details and bookings here

A Womb Twin 9/11 by Monica Hudson in the USA

2011-09-13T19:40:00.001+01:00

My inner 9/11 is a loss which looms just as large and digs just as deep to me as the outer 9/11...yet there is no coverage of the lone witness, made more so by society. Odd stares of judgement were my only funeral for decades. Such devastating alienation added to the aloneness incomprehensible to a twin and entirely inconceivable to a singleton, whose death rituals and symbols need no explanation among the rows of shoulders to cry on for lesser losses.

As the world mourns 10 years since 9/11/01 with all its remembrance pageantry and public acknowledgement of sorrow, it is painfully clear to me that memorials are only for certain deaths.

The lone tower standing without its twin, ready to fall down and die at any moment, is me.

The tower jumpers mirror the death of a twin who couldn’t implant and fell away to an unknown abyss, to its surviving twins' horror.

The sickening vagueness in the lack of evidence and desperate need for closure by 9/11 survivors is the birthright for womb twin survivors who can’t even remember any different.

Although the tragedy of 9/11 feels equal to my inner loss, the difference is that my Ground Zero is Ground One – Individuality. Instead of a grim void littered with smoldering wreckage, my aftermath is a lifetime of being without my twin/triplet/quadruplet.

Here at Ground One there are no ambulances or camera crews, just a lonely incubator and the pressure to function in a world that didn’t welcome my cherished others. Here at Ground One, any kind of non-self-made ceremony would’ve helped yet nothing would’ve ever been enough.

The aching indelibility of this inner tragedy makes me a walker between worlds, never able to be a twin or a singleton, forever trapped falling from my twin tower with no place to land, among the oblivious who could be witnesses.

Imagine a world where 9/11 happened and nobody paid attention or cared. It just happened and then it was no longer happening and nobody was affected but you. And every Sept 11 you had to put on your birthday hat and smile to fool the world you weren’t dead inside, unable to articulate because there was nobody to hear. You had to be the keeper of this memory inside and if you ever said a peep, others would look at you strangely and think you should be over it by now while judging you for being affected in the first place. Now imagine those same people invite you to their dog’s funeral so you can witness a tree-planting in a dog’s memory and you must comfort their loss and not mention 9/11. This is the life of a womb twin survivor and we thought it was normal because we knew no different.

My 10 second fall lasted 44 years until I’d had enough of the ghostly invisibility of silence. Now I won’t shut up. Coming out of the closet, finding wombtwin.com and connecting with other survivors has been my anti-terrorist task force.

Recognize my glory, I am a newly constructed tower that gleams and cannot be ignored, standing taller and taller all on my own.

* * * * *
The tragedy of 9/11 resulted in 2,976 deaths – 40 of which were twins who perished and left their twins twinless.

By comparison, the tragedy of womb twin loss affects 600,000 people - most of whom don’t even know but are walking around with an inner 9/11.

Social before Birth: Twins First Interact with Each Other as Fetuses

2011-09-08T20:57:00.000+01:00

Every mother knows that newborns are social creatures just hours after birth. They prefer to look at faces over objects, and they even imitate facial expressions. Now a study sug gests that the propensity for social interactions exists in the womb. Twins begin interacting as early as the 14th week of gestation.

Researchers at the University of Turin and the University of Parma in Italy used ultrasonography, a technique for imaging internal body structures, to track the motion of five pairs of twin fetuses in daily 20-minute sessions. As published in the OctoberPLoS ONE, the scientists found that fetuses begin reaching toward their neighbors by the 14th week of gestation. Over the following weeks they reduced the num ber of movements toward themselves and instead reached more frequently toward their counterparts. By the 18th week they spent more time contacting their partners than themselves or the walls of the uterus. Almost 30 percent of their movements were directed toward their prenatal companions. These movements, such as stroking the head or back, lasted longer and were more accurate than self-directed actions, such as touching their own eyes or mouth.

The results suggest that twin fetuses are aware of their counterparts in the womb, that they prefer to interact with them, and that they respond to them in special ways. Contact between them appeared to be planned—not an accidental outcome of spatial proximity, says study co-author Cristina Becchio of Turin. “These findings force us to predate the emergence of social behavior,” she says.

The fact that fetuses can control their actions in the womb is not a surprise. Co-authorVittorio Gallese, a neuroscientist at Parma, and his collaborators previously showed that fetuses display skilled movements by the fifth month of gestation. Becchio speculates that the presence of a twin may accelerate motor development.

In the future the team plans to develop diagnostic tests by systema tically tracking the motion of a large number of fetuses. Patterns of activity in the womb may predict later motor development or impairments in social cognition, such as autism, Gallese says. “The womb is probably a crucial starting point to develop a sense of self and a sense of others.”

Source

http://www.scientificamerican.com/article.cfm?id=social-before-birth

Vulnerability

2011-07-25T19:34:00.005+01:00

I want to share this with you all, because I think that this is something we, wombtwin survivors have to work in ourselves: we are vulnerable! and we often fight against our vulnerabiliy with all kinds of reactions to our "dreams of the womb" (Althea Hayton).
I believe that accepting vulnerability, as Brene Brown describes it, is a good starting point into accepting oneself with everything that we are, and perhaps that's how we will know who we aren't, that's maybe a way to find out who it was that was beginning the lifejourney with us, leaving us so soon.
Hope you enjoy it!

IMPORTANT NEWS: DSM may include new category in 2013 - Complicated Grief Disorder

2011-06-16T15:45:00.006+01:00

Call to Action - What can womb twin survivors do to help make this diagnostic code a reality - this validation would open the doors for our cause and its treatment:

http://www.scientificamerican.com/article.cfm?id=shades-of-grief

Home » Scientific American Magazine » June 2011
The Science of Health | Mind & Brain
See Inside Shades of Grief: When Does Mourning Become a Mental Illness?
The new edition of a psychiatric manual called DSM-5 tackles what to do when mourning becomes complicated or leads to depression

By Virginia Hughes | June 7, 2011 | 3
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MORTAL TOLL: For most people, extreme grief subsides with time. For some, however, it may continue unabated or lead to depression.

Image: Michael Blann Getty Images

Sooner or later most of us suffer deep grief over the death of someone we love. The experience often causes people to question their sanity—as when they momentarily think they have caught sight of their loved one on a crowded street. Many mourners ponder, even if only abstractedly, their reason for living. But when are these disturbing thoughts and emotions normal—that is to say, they become less consuming and intense with the passage of time—and when do they cross the line to pathology, requiring ongoing treatment with powerful antidepressants or psychotherapy, or both?

Two proposed changes in the “bible” of psychiatric disorders—the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM)—aim to answer that question when the book’s fifth edition comes out in 2013. One change expected to appear in the DSM-5 reflects a growing consensus in the mental health field; the other has provoked great controversy.

In the less controversial change, the manual would add a new category: Complicated Grief Disorder, also known as traumatic or prolonged grief. The new diagnosis refers to a situation in which many of grief’s common symptoms—such as powerful pining for the deceased, great difficulty moving on, a sense that life is meaningless, and bitterness or anger about the loss—last longer than six months. The controversial change focuses on the other end of the time spectrum: it allows medical treatment for depression in the first few weeks after a death. Currently the DSM specifically bars a bereaved person from being diagnosed with full-blown depression until at least two months have elapsed from the start of mourning.

Those changes matter to patients and mental health professionals because the manual’s definitions of mental illness determine how people are treated and, in many cases, whether the therapy is paid for by insurance. The logic behind the proposed revisions, therefore, merits a further look.

Abnormal Grief
The concept of pathological mourning has been around since Sigmund Freud, but it began receiving formal attention more recently. In several studies of widows with severe, long-lasting grief in the 1980s and 1990s, researchers noticed that antidepressant medications relieved such depressive feelings as sadness and worthlessness but did nothing for other aspects of grief, such as pining and intrusive thoughts about the deceased. The finding suggested that complicated grief and depression arise from different circuits in the brain, but the work was not far enough along to make it into the current, fourth edition of the DSM, published in 1994. In the 886-page book, bereavement is relegated to just one paragraph and is described as a symptom that “may be a focus of clinical attention.” Complicated grief is not mentioned.

Over the next few years other studies revealed that persistent, consuming grief may, in and of itself, increase the risk of other illnesses, such as heart problems, high blood pressure and cancer. Holly G. Prigerson, one of the pioneers of grief research, organized a meeting of loss experts in Pittsburgh in 1997 to hash out preliminary criteria for what she and her colleagues saw as an emerging condition, which they termed traumatic grief. Their view of its defining features: an intense daily yearning and preoccupation with the deceased. In essence, it is the inability to adjust to life without that person, notes Mardi J. Horowitz, professor of psychiatry at the University of California, San Francisco, and another early researcher of the condition. Prigerson, then an assistant professor at the Western Psychiatric Institute and Clinic in Pittsburgh, hoped the meeting would begin the process of finding enough evidence to support changing the DSM. “We knew that grief predicted a lot of bad outcomes—over and above depression and anxiety—and thought it was worthy of clinical attention in its own right,” says Prigerson, now a professor of psychiatry at Harvard Medical School.

Monica

Amalia Rodrigues - Cansaço (Tiredness)

2011-06-12T15:19:00.003+01:00

Por trás do espelho quem está Who is that, behind the mirror,~
De olhos fixados no meus? With eyes fixed on mine?
Alguém que passou por cá Someone that came by
E seguiu ao Deus dará And followed her own God given way
Deixando os olhos nos meus. Leaving her eyes on mine.

Quem dorme na minha cama Who is sleeping in my bed,
E tenta sonhar meus sonhos? Trying to dream my dreams?
Alguém morreu nesta cama Someone died in this bed
E lá de longe me chama And is calling me from far away
Misturado nos meus sonhos. Mixed in my dreams.

Tudo o que faço ou não faço Everything I do or don't do
Outros fizeram assim Others have done
Daí este meu cansaço Hence this my tiredness
De sentir que quanto faço That I feel that whatever I do
Não é feito só por mim. Is not done just by myself.

Author: Luis de Macedo

A fresh look for the Womb Twin Ireland blog

2011-06-11T18:16:00.001+01:00

After a few months in the doldrums, the Womb Twin Ireland blog has undergone a renaissance. It has new pages and a new look, suggesting the green landscape of the Emerald Isle. Its time to build a strong womb twin community in Ireland

Take a look at the blog today. [Here]

Ever been to Ireland? It's a beautiful place....

If you live in Ireland and would like to join our team of authors, send them a message and they will tell you what is involved.

Part 2 - Interview with a well-adjusted Womb Twin Survivor - they do exist!

2011-04-28T18:31:00.004+01:00

As a follow up to Part 1 of this interview (posted below on April 7), here concludes this very special interview with a womb twin survivor who lost his female twin at birth, and is quite fine with it. He is convinced he was spared traumatic affect due to his mother's early acknowledgment and constant communication about the loss of his twin.

Consider what he shares - about a subject never spoken about with people other than his mom - an early Mother's Day tribute to the incredible instincts his mother had not to repress the loss. Let this also be a tribute to the current & future mother's of womb twins to overcome their apprehension and fears and learn to talk about it with their children. When you handle it well, your child will too. Ignoring it doesn't make it go away, it makes it much worse.

What advice would you give parents of womb twin survivors on how to handle this well for their children?
I wouldn’t evade it or negate it, I’d definitely talk about it. It’s something that did happen.

How early would you bring it up?
I would talk about it from when you brought the baby home. I remember it was a pretty early memory that I was a twin and my mother was talking to me about it, by doing that she comforted me and that’s what you want to do.

Do you feel that if she told you later in life that it would’ve been shocking rather than always growing up with that knowledge?
Sure because you set a tone with a child in exposing it to any kind of information or knowledge. If you do it later, it could be more of a shock and less embraceable. You might have difficulties developing that knowledge.

Whereas if you get it earlier, it’s just integrated into who you are?
Yes and then you have more of a possibility of developing that knowledge and nurturing it into a positive manifestation.

For instance, my mother was a great artist and she chose not to teach me that when I was very young. She taught me when I was 9 or 10 and it was hard for me to assimilate that information and I was kind of upset because I wish she did teach me earlier. To use an example, prodigies like Mozart who are taught & exposed to information at a young age can assimilate that information much easier, you don’t have to think about it too much. You’re just doing it. It’s like walking and reading and talking.

How would you suggest the subject be brought up?
Just talk. There’s no right way or wrong way…but the wrong way is not doing anything about it all. If parents are fearful and apprehensive… look, a child only wants to share with you and other people, the more sharing and conversing is done, the more adulation and love is created. And the more love and adulation, the more intelligence is developed and the greater the perception. And that’s all that beings want is that comeraderie, all species, that is the first act of communication. Just going through the motions of eating and getting up in the morning, they emulate those things. So when you start talking about things, they’re going to emulate those things.

When you do it while their young, as a parent to a child, you’re going to do it in a positive way for the most part because you’re enamored by this new being. You make it up as you go, there are no instructions on how to rear children even though there should be, but you know there are right ways and wrong ways of doing things and anything that is done in a positive, loving manner can’t be bad.

If you don’t know what you’re doing and you think you’re doing it wrong, it still can’t be bad because you figure it out as you go. And not only do you figure it out, the child figures it out, you help each other. It goes back & forth. It’s a given that the teacher learns more or just as much from the student. The master really learns from the student if he’s a good teacher. And that is a very high acknowledgment in a very sagely manner, it’s not easy to do and people who are masters and have acquired that sagely manner are aware of that. That’s what you want to manifest in and it can take a lifetime to learn to do that.

Or you can just do it…as your biological being tells you to do. And if you follow those things, sometimes you can learn a lot more than you knew you could.

Did your mother ever tell you things about your twin that you didn’t like hearing - did she ever vent or say anything that wasn’t as palatable to you but served her more? Anything negative? Or was it all positive sharing?
Pretty much, I was fortunate that she didn’t - but she did vent about her mother. Even that wasn’t accusatory, just venting issues. I remember she would say things like “there’s no such thing as better, there are just different applications or different ways of looking at things.” It instilled in me not to be judgmental.

Do you think you and your mother shared the same level of grief for your twin? Did you feel on par or that there were different intensities?
I guess the grief that she was dealing with, she dealt with by acknowledging it and speaking to me about it. So I was aware of it and I could acknowledge it and in doing so, that was dealing with the grief. Now, when I got older and dealt with grief with the passing of relatives, I learned a lot about grief. You have to confront grief. You have to deal with grief. If you don’t, it manifests into disease and creates illness and ill manners and ill ways. Dis-ease.

I think that by her talking to me about it, she was dealing with her grief and I was acknowledging this information but I didn’t necessarily grieve. That’s why I brought up the family grief, it’s a different type of grief…

So was that a delayed channeling of the grief of your twin to these other later outlets?
No I don’t think so, it’s just different.

Then, would you say that you grieved at the time your mother shared knowledge of your twin’s death and it was just taken care of then? As you went along?
Right, exactly. That’s why I said I didn’t grieve. I think the initiation of this knowledge and the fact that this individual was no longer with us but we were discussing it – this is the acknowledgement of this information but also the embracing of the grief. Dealing with it and diminishing it at the same time. Working in tandem.

To make an analogy, a relative got sick and almost died but didn’t and it was so traumatic that I grieved a real sense of loss. So later, when this person eventually died, it wasn’t as hard as it would’ve been if I hadn’t dealt with that grief earlier. I think of you deal with loss, at that time, in the moment - it creates less of a dramatic situation later, no matter what.

Right, if a parent handles it well, the child can handle it well, no matter what it is.
You don’t even have to handle it all that well but dealing with it is much better than not dealing with it.

Even if it gets messy?
Even if it gets messy because then you’ll deal with it again and it will get easier. You’re still dealing with it as opposed to not dealing with it, because you never get over the death of someone very important to you. Time is kind of irrelevant about that, it could’ve happened yesterday or twenty years ago but depending on how great that individual was in your life, you’re still going to feel that hurt and sense of loss and emotional trauma. But that’s all grief is, it’s like oh we ‘memorialize this person’ but it’s not for them it’s all for us and how we deal with these things emotionally. It’s not for the people who passed. They are wherever they go, we’re still here and it’s us that are emotionally struck by these things and a lot of times these things are not dealt with. That’s why we recreate all these stories about being haunted, we create all these things in our psyche because they’re not dealt with, all this emotional baggage turns into all these diseases whether they’re physical or psychic or psychological, they’re very real and they become very real things. They can become very psychotic, either individually or communally.

So no – it just needs to be dealt with. It doesn’t matter how, it doesn’t matter if it’s the right approach or not. There’s no right way or wrong of way of dealing with this, as long as it is dealt with.

This question may not be appropriate, since you haven’t been aware of Womb Twin Syndrome, but answer it if you like: What advice would you give others who lost a twin around birth to cope?
Other twins who lost twins themselves? It’s an odd question since I never really even knew this was an issue…

Now that I know that it is an issue, and I never knew about it personally myself, I think the best thing to do is to speak about it with other people who have gone through these experiences and to share with one another and talk about it. If you didn’t have that chance when you were a child or baby, I don’t think it’s ever too late to actually try to deal with these things. But do it with people of like mind and maybe you’ll acquire a rest in the trauma and maybe a bit of understanding on how to deal with that and try to heal. What more could you ask for? That’s what I would try to do.

Mourning

2011-04-21T16:40:00.002+01:00

O let me weep, for ever weep,
My Eyes no more shall welcome Sleep;
I'll hide me from the sight of Day,
And sigh, and sigh my Soul away.
She's gone, she's gone, her loss deplore;
And I shall never see her more.

In the Womb: Multiples

2011-04-19T21:03:00.000+01:00

I own this dvd and I recommend it. See how it is like to be with your twin in the womb.

Buy - http://www.amazon.com/National-Geographic-Multiples-Lorne-Townend/dp/B000N6UF1K
Site - http://channel.nationalgeographic.com/episode/in-the-womb-multiples-2824
Trailer - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k9SdzYiyG14

The little prince

2011-04-12T17:49:00.006+01:00

“Só se vê bem com o coração. O essencial é invisível para os olhos”. Diz a raposa ao Principezinho. A história O Principezinho foi escrita por um homem, Antoine de Saint- Exupéry que, desde criança, nunca se sentiu compreendido. Em pequeno o seu maior desejo era poder voar. Quando cresceu tornou-se aviador, voava por cima de montes e vales, oceanos e desertos; ele queria ver os problemas dos homens de cima, de uma perspectiva diferente; e foi no ar que desapareceu para sempre. A partir desta perspectiva do alto o escritor criou uma das obras literárias mais divulgadas da história: "O Principezinho", foi traduzido para dezenas de línguas diferentes, tendo tido centenas de edições, em livro, em banda desenhada e em filme. A história conta as aventuras de um rapazinho que, vindo de um planeta distante, aparece ao autor enquanto este tentava sobreviver a um grave acidente: encontrava-se perdido no deserto com o seu avião avariado. Este rapaz fala-lhe do que viveu e observou até encontrar o autor, da sua busca de compreender os adultos, e de entender qual a melhor maneira de proteger o seu planeta onde deixara a sua flor tão amada. Tendo encontrado o que procurava, o principezinho precisa de voltar para o seu planeta, optando pela morte para poder partir. Profundamente tocado por aquele encontro, o autor relata uma despedida plena de emoção, e a recordação persistente que jamais o deixará...

É uma história que fala do vínculo de amor, mas essencialmente da saudade.

"One sees clearly only with the heart. What is essential is invisible to the eye." sais the fox tho the young prince. "The Little Prince", written by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, has been translated into more than 200 languages and dialects.

...The narrator is dying of thirst, when he and the prince find a well. After some thought, the prince bids an emotional farewell to the narrator, explaining to him that while it will look as though he has died, he has not, he just has to return to his planet and his body is too heavy to take with him. The prince allows the snake to bite him and the next morning, when the narrator looks for the prince, he finds the boy's body has disappeared. The story ends with the description of the narrators feelings of longing for the little prince, as the he makes a plea that anyone encountering a strange child in that area who refuses to answer questions should contact the him immediately.

Interview on US Blog - When parents handle it well, the surviving twin handles it well

2011-04-07T17:35:00.004+01:00

I recently met a womb twin survivor who is quite well adjusted and ok with it all.
I had to know more about his story ... what is his secret?
It wasn't a secret! He and his family handled it well and it made all the difference.

I just happened to meet this person and discover we both lost our twin sister at birth. He is not involved in the womb twin community and has no awareness of the healing path or that there are others like him who are on it.

He struck me as a rare example of a womb twin survivor who is well adjusted and accepting of the situation and therefore free of many problems associated with the syndrome, largely in part due to the healthy way he and his family embraced the loss. There were many generations of twins in the family and this was simply his version of the twin story which was acknowledged and had its place in the family history. Unlike so many families in our culture who repress lost twins, usually out of grief and ignorance which causes further damage due to mishandling, he and his family handled it well and therefore it sits well in him.

Check out Part 1 of 2 of this interview with an adult male whose fraternal twin sister was lost during the birth process, although it was understood she would go from early on (most likely due to twin-to-twin transfusion), as she was undernourished.

http://www.wombtwin-us.blogspot.com/

Then stay tuned for Part 2...and more about educating parents on handling womb twin loss. Let's do what we can to minimize the damage by showing parents how to do it right!

With extreme gratitude for living at a time where this can be embraced in the world. With our work, I am hopeful that someday this will be an acknowledged part of society so that womb twins won't have the added burden of painful explanations when we just need comfort and support....

Monica

Famous Twinless Twins

2011-04-01T01:52:00.000+01:00

Elvis Aaron Presley pioneering rock musician (twin brother Jesse Garon Presley was stillborn.^[2] Elvis often wrote his middle name 'Aron' instead of 'Aaron' in tribute to his twin.^{[citation needed]})
Heather O'Rourke child actress (twin brother was miscarried)
Liberace classically-trained pianist and comedian known for his elaborate costumes (the entertainer was known to have counseled the young Elvis on being a twinless twin and the desire to "live for two").^[3]^{[dead link]}
Philip K. Dick oft-praised American science fiction author whose twin sister, Jane, died when the twins were five weeks old. The loss of his twin is said to have profoundly affected his writing.^{[citation needed]}
Marlon Jackson former Jackson 5 member (twin brother Brandon Jackson was stillborn). As a result of the birth, Marlon was born a few months premature and survived.
Miklos Radnoti Hungarian poet whose twin sister Agnes died together with their mother.

A tiny single twin

2011-03-22T14:12:00.000Z

Born at 23 weeks, her sister died, and she lived.

Read the story here

She will probably have major health and psychological problems but she is alive. What an ethical dilemma for the doctors!

Fishing for Womb Twins & Raising Awareness

2011-03-15T20:48:00.000Z

So often I hear about how womb twins can't speak their truth, making them feel left out by society when they already feel left behind by their twin. Which is why I love to bring up the subject of womb twin surviving as much as possible!

Recently, I was at a cool social event in New York City. Given the long winter, everyone was busting out for some fun. The men were crowding around the pretty ladies to talk to them/us. I met a model-type who told me she was studying child psychology at NYU. I instantly became excited, telling her all about WTS which she would no doubt be treating in the children of the future. She was so fascinated to hear about this, as I pulled my womb twin business cards out, that I became more animated and our excitement couldn't be contained. Soon, there was a feeding frenzy of men asking what we were so excited about. In the funnest tone (and loud enough to be heard over the music) I said "Twins are dying in the womb and leaving their living twins behind, we help them heal" (it's fun to shout my truth from the rooftop!) Although I was prepared for the usual type reaction, to my surprise everyone became animated and wanted to get in on the action! (this may have had something to do with my contagious excitement in delivery) As they gobbled up my business cards, one man said "I was a twin, she died when we were born!" Althea's image of the "1 in 10" people came to mind - it felt like I had gone fishing into a pool of 10 people and caught the 1 womb twin survivor.
Now when I ride the train or walk in a crowd, I try to pick out the 1 in 10 as an interesting exercise just to feel the scope of 'not being alone' with this syndrome.

In talking with my new womb twin friend, it seems he has been happy with his life and has not missed his twin. He knows everyone is where they need to be and never had any sadness about it. Now this is a rarity! I must hear more...stay tuned to the wombtwin US blog www.wombtwin-us.blogspot.com for an interview with him.

This gives new meaning to the term "pick up line" - go reel them in!!
Raise awareness in fun and inappropriate ways, catch them offguard and hit them with your message. The world is readier to hear it, let's keep it going...

Cheers,
Monica

Rastlos

2011-03-15T15:46:00.001Z

Der Zwilling macht sich wieder mal bemerkbar oder zumindest die Symptome aufgrund dessen.

Wieder einmal bin ich rastlos, auf der Suche nach etwas, wie unter Zwang, kann nicht aufhören. Nur was ich wohl eigentlich suche, respektive was sich dahinter versteckt, werde nie finden, nie ein Erfolgserlebnis diesbezüglich erleben, sondern immer am Ende völlig ausgelaugt dastehen.

Eigentlich habe ich ein Computersystem gesucht, aber mit solch einer Intensität dass ich rundherum nicht mehr viel wahrnahm. Ne Stunde hätte gereicht um das System zu testen, aber nein es hat sich wieder alles vermischt, vermischt mit der Suche nach dem Zwilling und so bin ich den ganzen Samstag und Sonntag ausser kurzen Momenten wie fiebernd am Pc gesessen und habe System um System getestet. Völlig ko bin ich gestern Abend dann wie erwacht aus diesem Suchfieber und danach ging es mir auf gut deutsch beschissen, weil ich feststellte dass ich soviel Zeit darin investiert und darüber das Wochenende vergangen ist.

Ja, das erlebe ich immer wieder, es kann auch die Suche nach was ganz anderem sein was sich dann vermischt, unbewusst vermischt mit der Suche nach meiner anderen verloren Hälfte, eine Hälfte ohne die es mich oft fast zerreißt und man kann nichts tun dagegen .

Elvis's twin brother Jesse

2011-03-12T05:24:00.000Z

Elvis Presley was born on January 8, 1935, in Tupelo, Mississippi, to 18-year-old Vernon Elvis and 22-year-old Gladys Love Presley.^[5] In the two-room shotgun house built by his father in readiness for the birth, Jesse Garon Presley, his identical twin brother, was delivered 35 minutes before him, stillborn. As an only child, Presley became close to both parents and formed an unusually tight bond with his mother.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qN37qEJvHt8

Always trying to find "that connection"

2011-03-08T19:11:00.003Z

Obstacles: Stories of Twin Loss (Trailer 2) from Tim Labonte on Vimeo.

This is very interesting: this is what wombtwins feel and live through their lives without knowing why: Who are we missing? why do we grieve? why do we cry? why do we live in pain? why do we feel uncomplete?
We have no way to know, we just think that we must be "nuts"... don't we?

Ich muss doppelt so viel

2011-02-28T08:26:00.000Z

Gestern Vormittag ging es mir sehr gut. Ich bin im Bahnhof einkaufen gegangen und habe dann zuhause gemeinsam mit meinem Mann gekocht und mich auf den bevorstehenden Besuch meiner Eltern gefreut.

Als diese dann kamen hatten wir einige gemütliche Stunden zusammen und es war schön.

Kurz nachdem sie dann aufgebrochen waren und sich auf den Heimweg machten, schlug meine Stimmung plötzlich um. Mein Mann las kurz im Nebenzimmer im Internet Nachrichten und ich saß im Wohnzimmer auf dem Sofa.

Auf einmal fand ich alles bedrückend, den Raum trotz Licht bedrohlich und auch die Nacht. Ich begann zu überlegen warum. Das einzige was mir einfiel war dass ich am nächsten Tag im neuen Job alleine am Telefon sein würde. Ich ging zu meinem Mann und sagte ihm dass es mir im Moment gerade gar nicht wohl sei. Er stand auf und meinte er werde sich einen Kaffee machen, ich solle doch mit in die Küche kommen damit wir reden könnten.

Er sagte dass ich mir keinen Stress machen solle und dass ich bisher schon so viel geschafft habe und dass er überzeugt sei dass ich auch diesen ersten Tag mit Links bewältigen würde.

Plötzlich brachen die Worte nur so aus mir raus, ohne dass ich überlegt hatte was ich sagen wollte, daher war ich über meine eigenen klaren Worte sehr überrascht.

"Ich habe immer das Gefühl dass ich doppelt so viel leisten muss wie andere, dass ich doppelt so viel schuften muss um etwas zu erreichen und dass ich immer besser sein muss als andere. "

Als ich das ausgesprochen hatte, hat es mich bis ins Mark getroffen wie klar ich das unbewusst erkannt und formuliert hatte. Nie hatte ich vorher so etwas gesagt oder es klar erkannt. Aber ja, genauso fühle ich.

Ich fühle mich oft unter Druck auch wenn niemand was von mir erwartet außer vielleicht ich selbst.

Ich habe oft dass Gefühl besser als andere sein zu müssen oder mehr zu tun um wie sie sein zu können

Doppelte Leistung, doppelte Anstrengung, doppelte Anspannung, doppelter Druck, doppelte Belastung

Doppelt, doppelt, doppelt...

Nein, es ist wahrlich nicht einfach ein überlebender einzelner Zwilling zu sein.

Verloren, halbiert, unvollständig alleine im Leben, auch wenn tausende rund herum sind.

Twin Graphics I Made

2011-02-12T08:14:00.000Z

Zwillinge

2011-02-11T19:12:00.001Z

Im Moment "wimmelt" es nur so von Zwillingen. In der Schweiz werden 7jährige Zwillinge vermisst, unsere Bank macht Werbung mit Zwillingen, es gibt immer mehr Zwillingsforen im Internet und ich begegne auch in den letzten Wochen andauernd irgendwo Zwillingen.
Dadurch ist das WTS Thema für mich wieder voll aktuell, ich werde immer wieder daran erinnert und die Gefühle sind geteilt.

Einerseits von Freude und Liebe erfüllt nen Bruder zu haben, andererseits unendlich traurig meinen Bruder verloren zu haben und auch weil die Welt rundherum immer noch zuwenig über WTS weiß.

Wie schön wäre es doch, wenn man einfach frei über seinen Zwilling reden könnte und verstanden und akzeptiert würde! Wer Lust hat und auch WTS ist, soll sich bitte melden :-)

Poets - womb twin survivors?

2011-02-09T07:33:00.000Z

I read this today:

According to a study by Kay Redfield Jamison, poets are thirty times more likely to undergo a depressive illness than the rest of the population, and twenty times more likely to be committed to an asylum.

It is the unconscious that drives poetry, the jumps and sudden lurches that forge new connections with things not connected before, new ways of seeing. And it is also in the unconscious that the voices of the irrational lurk.

In 'Out of the Vortex', Irish poet Matthew Sweeney chooses poetry that speaks to him, from the classics of John Clare and Emily Dickinson to that of contemporary writers. Poets Kit Wright and Jean Binta Breeze read their own work and Jean Binta Breeze tells Matthew how voices on the radio influenced her magnificent dub poem Riddym Ravings.

Perhaps surprisingly for listeners the poems cover a range of moods - humour as well as gloom, calm as well as chaos - and show that mental disorder, rather than being a condition suffered by a few, can approach and invade very many lives. As Matthew Sweeney himself has experienced, the act of writing can help offset the advance of chaos, shaping it into the order of words.

Listen now ( if you can get BBC)

Sounds like womb twin survivors to me: what do you think?

Althea

A womb twin artist in Canada

2011-02-04T08:22:00.000Z

This web site is by a womb twin survivor who lives in Toronto canada. She created the cover image for A Silent Cry:

(Available from the Wren Publications Bookstore)

LindaBeth has a web site of her own with beautiful images and photographs.

Visit her web site today and see how being a womb twin survivor has influenced her work.

http://www.lindabeth.ca

We are gifted in all kinds of ways - being a womb twin survivor isn't all bad!

Althea

Versagen

2011-02-03T21:39:00.001Z

Oftmals habe ich das Gefühl versagt zu haben oder dass ich sowieso bei etwas versagen werde. Sei es im Job, in der Partnerschaft, oder in anderen Dingen. Ich habe häufig Angst dass ich etwas nicht hinkriege bevor es überhaupt Grund zur Sorge gäbe, bevor überhaupt jemand etwas gesagt hat.

Letztes Jahr habe ich einen Englischkurs besuchen wollen. Ich habe mich also für einen Einstufungstest angemeldet und war der Meinung dass mein Englisch ziemlich anfängerhaft ist, naja kein Wunder nach vielleicht gerade mal 50 Lektionen Schulenglisch!
Schon während dem Einstufungstest im mündlichen Teil, war die Lehrerein aber praktisch überzeugt dass ich in die mittlere Stufe gehöre und keinesfalls zu den Anfängern. Ich war sehr erstaunt, ich mag zwar Englisch schon und habe auch als Jugendliche Englische Liedtexte verfasst (bevor ich Englisch hatte!) aber ich mass dem keine Bedeutung bei.

Wie gross war daher die Überraschung als ich die Anmeldebestätigung für Englisch B1 erhielt und ich am ersten Tag in dieselbe Englischklasse ging wie zum Teil Mitschüler welche mehrere Monate in England gelernt hatten!
Ich habe fleissig gelernt, gepaukt manchmal abends fast bis zum umfallen, war aber immer noch der Meinung dass ich den Abschlusstest warscheinlich sowieso vermasseln werde. Aber nein, auch hier wurde ich eines Besseren belehrt, ich habe den gesamten Test mit über 80% bestanden und nun Englischstufe B1!

Diesen Monat nun habe ich eine neue Arbeitstelle angetreten und auch da wurde ich wieder mit der Angst vor dem Versagen konfrontiert. Ich bin dem Unterricht fleissig gefolgt, habe mir eifrig Notizen gemacht und trotzdem gab es Momente wo ich manches nicht verstand und dadurch wieder dieses Gefühl hervorkam. Ich dachte wieder dass ich es vielleicht nicht schaffe, weil ich eh nichts hinkriege. Aber auch hier wurde ich wieder von meinen eigenen Gedanken/Gefühlen hereingelegt. In der Pause kamen einige Teilnehmer auf mich zu und meinten "Rina Du scheinst echt den Stoff toll zu verstehen, Du kapierst wahnsinnig schnell!"

Ihr könnt euch sicher vorstellen, wie erstaunt ich wieder war und wie gut dieses Kompliment getan hat!

Nein, ich bin eben doch keine Versagerin und ich kann weder was für den Tod meines Bruders noch dafür wie ich eben bin - und so wie ich bin, scheine ich total in Ordnung zu sein :-)

Triggern - erinnern

2011-02-03T21:26:00.001Z

Triggern bedeutet ein Auslöser, etwas das eine Erinnerung und daruch eine Reaktion darauf auslöst.

Auch wir überlebenden Zwillinge werden oft getriggert, also im Alltag mit Situationen konfrontiert die uns an den Verlust oder die direkte Zeit wo der andere Zwilling gegangen/gestorben ist, erinnern. Das können auch Gefühle sein, die dann irgendwie in unserem Kopf mit dem damals erlebten Gefühl verknüpft werden.

Das kann Angst auslösen aufgrund der Erinnerung, Traurigkeit, Panik, Starre und anderes, es ist dann wie wenn man wieder in diesen früheren Moment wäre.

Auch ich erlebe solche Momente, Momente welche mich wieder zurückwerfen in die damalige Zeit, als würde ich mit einer Zeitmaschine zurückreisen in eine frühere Zeit und denselben Moment noch mal erleben und das jedes Mal wieder wenn mich etwas "triggert".

Bei mir sind das unter anderem Abschiede. Nicht jeder Abschied, vorallem Abschiede nach denen ich eine oder mehrere Personen warscheinlich nicht mehr wiedersehen werde, oder Abschiede wenn ich einige Tage mit jemandem verbracht habe und dann wieder nach Hause gehe.

Wenn ich beispielsweise meine Eltern besuche und einige Tage dort verbringe, dann ist der Abschied für mich danach sehr schlimm auch wenn ich das zu verbergen weiss. Sobald die Person mir aber den Rücken kehrt, oder mit dem Auto davon fährt, möchte ich am liebsten hinterher rennen und es ist irgendwie als gäbe es kein wiedersehen mehr auch wenn dem nicht so ist. Mein Herz tut dann weh, Tränen laufen und alles in mir verkrampft sich.

Ich denke dass niemand ausser jetzt meinem Mann weiss, wie schlimm solche Momente für mich sind, weil ich es immer zu verstecken versuche, den Abschied überspiele, meine burschikose Seite in dem Moment den Platz übernimmt und das ganz cool regelt, zumindest nach Aussen. Innerlich ist es aber eben oftmals sehr schwierig.

Möglicherweise erinnern mich diese Abschiedsmomente an den Tod meines Zwillingsbruder, von dem ich mich vielleicht nicht verabschieden konnte, oder der eben nicht mehr zurückkam, den ich nicht mehr wiedersah. Daher muss ich mir in solchen Momenten immer versuchen bewusst zu machen, dass es hier ganz anders ist, dass dieser Moment nicht vergleichbar ist mit dem damaligen, dass meine Angst unbegründet ist. So schaffe ich dann meist innerhalb ein, zwei Minuten mich wieder in Griff zu kriegen.

Was ich selber nicht verstehe ist, warum Abschiede für mich als Kind eigentlich überhaupt nicht schwierig waren, ich hatte da soweit ich mich erinnern kann nie diese Angst, erst später im Erwachsenenalter, aber schon vor Entdeckung des Zwillings.

Es gibt auch andere Situationen die mich triggern.
Ich kann einen Film gucken in dem eine traurige Szene vorkommt, wenn mir die betroffenen Charaktere sympatisch sind, kann ich dieser Szene mehr Wert zumessen als normal und somit überreagieren. Das heisst, wenn zwei Personen sich darin für immer voneinander verabschieden, oder Geschwister getrennt werden, oder ein Kind einen Elternteil verliert etc, dann weine ich sehr stark und kann mich einige Minuten nicht mehr beruhigen, mein Herz krampft sich zusammen und ich falle wohl innerlich zurück. Wenn ich in solchen Situationen nicht alleine bin, kann ich gut damit umgehen, mich ablenken, hingegen wenn ich in diesem Moment alleine bin dann kommt alles raus. Auch hier muss ich immer versuchen mich daran zu erinnern dass es NUR ein Film ist, die Betroffenen Schauspieler sind, alles gespielt und dass es mit mir selber überhaupt nichts zu tun hat und auch nicht mit meinem Leben.

Auch Streit ist für mich schlimm, vorallem wenn er nicht vor dem Abend beigelegt ist, oder wenn die Person wütend weggeht, egal wer es ist, bevor man sich versöhnt hat. Wenn die Person weggeht tagsüber, dann habe ich Angst sie kommt nicht wieder, also so dass eine Versöhnung nicht mehr möglich wäre, und wenn es abends ist, dann gerate ich wieder so in einen Teufelskreis. Die Nacht scheint mir dunkler zu sein, das Zimmer wo ich bin bedrohlich, die ganze Situation und das ganze weitere Leben aussichtslos, es ist wie DAS ENDE, ich habe riesen Angst, kann mich nicht beruhigen und steigere mich dann irgendwie immer mehr rein. Es ist als würde mich alles verschlingen wollen, was bedrohliches.

Ich werde später noch weitere Triggermomente beschrieben

Ich bin Rina

2011-02-03T21:24:00.000Z

Ich bin Karin. 33 Jahre lang war ich ein Einzelkind, manchmal fühlte ich mich einsam, traurig und wusste nicht warum. Etwas hat gefehlt, irgend etwas „war nicht richtig, nicht an seinem Platz“. Es ist schwierig dieses Gefühl zu beschreiben, schwierig zu erklären wie ich das gefühlt habe. Seit ich denken kann, habe ich mir einen Bruder gewünscht, der Wunsch war so stark, dass es manchmal weh tat.
Es gab viele Momente wo ich mich mehr wie ein Junge fühlte, lieber Spiele und Beschäftigungen „für Jungs“ mochte etc und später gab es manchmal so was wie ein „Gedankenblitz“ und ich hatte das Gefühl jemanden in der Welt vertreten zu müssen.
Aber warum?
Und wen?
Seit dem 3. Juli 2010 weiss ich, ich war kein Einzelkind, ich hätte nicht nur Geschwister, sondern ich hatte einen Zwillingsbruder. Ich habe einen Bruder!
Mancher würde jetzt sicher denken „nun hat die Karin echt einen Knacks“ - aber nein, es ist tatsächlich die Wahrheit.
Wissenschaftler haben herausgefunden, dass viele Schwangerschaften als Mehrlings-Schwangerschaften beginnen. Das heisst, dass sich ganz am Anfang der Schwangerschaft, zwei oder mehrere Embryos in der Gebärmutter befinden. Über den Prozentsatz der Häufigkeit dieses Phänomens gibt es verschiedene Ansichten, die Zahlen pendeln zwischen 20 – 80 % aller Schwangerschaften. Das bedeutet, dass viele Menschen eigentlich als Zwilling, oder Mehrling entstanden sind, aber oftmals eben das zweite, dritte oder vierte Embryo stirbt und das meist bevor es auf einem Ultraschallbild überhaupt gesehen werden könnte.
Warum manche Embryos absterben, möglicherweise aus körpereigenem Schutz, da vielleicht sonst beide Kinder gefährdet wären oder anderes. Meist merkt auch niemand, wenn ein Embryo stirbt, die Mutter muss das nicht unbedingt bemerken, aber das oder die anderen Embryos schon.
Ich weiss, das tönt alles nach Science Fiction, aber es ist Realtität und es ist genauso Realität dass dieser vorgeburtliche Verlust den überbleibenden Zwilling prägt. Die Verbindung zum Zwilling ist intensiver als die zu der Mutter, der Zwilling ist naher und von Anfang an dabei. Der Herzschlag wird gehört, die Gegenwart gespürt – wenn dann plötzlich das Gegenüber nicht mehr da ist, hinterlässt das ganz logischerweise Spuren. Nach der Geburt kann man sich vielleicht lange nicht mehr bewusst an den Zwilling/Drilling etc erinnern, aber im Unterbewusstsein fehlt er und das beeinflusst das ganze Leben.
Anhand von Fotos aus meiner Kindheit bin ich meiner Vergangenheit auf die Spur gegangen. Auf vielen Fotos sehe ich sehr jungenhaft aus, viele Situationen fallen mir wieder ein und bei einzelnen Bildern ist es, als würde ich meinem Zwilling in die Augen schauen. Zudem habe ich mit Hinweisen einer Freundin entdeckt, dass ich auf Fotos wo ich zu zweit mit einer Freundin abgebildet bin, oder mit einem Cousin etc viel glücklicher wirke als auf Fotos wo nur ich zu sehen bin. Ausserdem ist mir wieder bewusst geworden, wie alleine ich mich manchmal in den Ferien "nur" mit den Eltern gefühlt habe und wie glücklich ich in Frankreich-Ferien gewesen bin in denen eine Schulfreundin mitkommen durfte. Beim objektiven Betrachten dieser Freundschaftsbeziehungen fiel mir plötzlich auf, dass ich dort immer mehr "die männliche Seite" war und das brachte mich auf eine Idee.
Um dem Unterbewusstsein zu helfen, alles ans Tageslicht zu bringen, habe ich einige Fotomontagen gemacht, gerne lasse ich euch daran teilhaben, in der Hoffnung dass sie anderen Menschen helfen, allenfalls ihrer eigenen Vergangenheit auf die Spur zu kommen.
Eigentlich bin auf beiden Fotos ich und beide Aufnahmen wurden am selben Tag und in derselben Stunde gemacht, aber auf dem linken sehe ich aus wie ein Mädchen und auf dem rechten Bild könnte ich fast ein Junge sein. Als ich diese beiden Bilder zum ersten Mal so nebeneinander gelegt habe (und das rechte spiegelverkehrt), war es als würde etwas hervorgekommen was lange verschüttet gewesen war. Mein Herz tat in diesem Moment so weh, Tränen liefen mir herunter und es war als würde es mich zerreissen. Nein, ich brauche keinen „Beweis“, ich wusste in diesem Moment mit absoluter Sicherheit dass ich einen Zwillingsbruder gehabt habe.
Diesen Moment werde ich in meinem Leben nie vergeessen. Einerseits war ich unendlich traurig, anderseits wusste ich endlich woher all die Gefühle kamen, das Gefühl jemanden vertreten zu müssen, das Gefühl das etwas fehlt, das Gefühl dass es mich innerlich zerreisst manchmal und ich nie wusste warum.

Also habe ich fortgefahren mit dieser Bilderbearbeitung und habe noch 2 weitere „Zwillingsbilder“ erstellt. Das geht mit einem Foto und einer spiegelverkehrten Kopie, oder mit zwei Bildern die in derselben Umgebung aufgenommen wurden am besten.
Eines der Fotos zeigte ursprünglich mich und die damalige Schulfreundin in den erwähnten Frankreich-Ferien. Ich habe das Bild nun bearbeitet. So hätte es aussehen können, wenn mein Bruder noch leben würde.

Nein, meine Reise in die Vergangenheit und das verarbeiten all der neuen Gefühle ist noch lange nicht zu Ende. Es braucht seine Zeit, braucht viel Kraft, zu verarbeiten dass jemand da war und man ihn aber verloren hat, er nie wieder da sein wird. Es tut weh, aber ich versuche immer an die Vorstellung vom Paradies zu denken und daran, dass wir uns dort wiedertreffen werden.
Aber im Moment mag ich noch nicht loslassen, ich habe meinen Zwillingsbruder doch gerade erst gefunden! Willkommen Bruderherz!

Wer mehr über mich wissen möchte, darf mich gerne kontaktieren.

Womb Twin Pictures

2011-01-31T04:18:00.000Z

“I is another.”

2011-01-27T08:38:00.007Z

Arthur Rimbaud, was a French poet that lived in the second half of the 19th century. He produced his best known works while still in his late teens, and was called "an infant Shakespeare". One of his letters to Paul Demeny he talks about his believe of who a poet is, saying "I am an Other", and there are several other poets that have this idea of themselves, that they are not themselves but someone else.

The following poem from Rimbaud is a very expressive and full of rage declaration of love to, what I believe could have been, his lost twins. What do you think?

My Little Lovers

A lacrymal tincture washes
The cabbage-green skies:
Under the drooling tree with tender shoots,
Your raincoats

White with special moons
With round eyes
Knock together your kneecaps
My ugly ones!

We loved one another at that time,
Blue ugly one!
We ate soft boiled eggs
And chickweed!

One evening you consecrated me poet,
Blond ugly one:
Come down here, that I can whip you
On my lap;

I vomited your brilliantine,
Black ugly one;
You would cut off my mandolin
On the edge of my brow

Bah! my dried saliva,
Red-headed ugly one
Still infects the trenches
Of your round breast!

O my little lovers,
How I hate you!
Plaster with painful blisters
Your ugly tits!

Trample on my old pots
Of sentiment;
—Up now! be ballerinas for me
For one moment!…

Your shoulder blades are out of joint,
O my loves!
A star on your limping backs,
Turn with your turns!

And yet it is for these mutton shoulders
That I have made rhymes!
I would like to break your hips
For having loved!

Insipid pile of stars that have failed,
Fill the corners!
—You will collapse in God, saddled
With ignoble cares!

Under special moons
With round eyes,
Knock together your kneecaps,
My ugly ones!

Claire Culwell - Womb Twin surviver and abortion surviver

2011-01-23T04:14:00.000Z

Claire's biological mom became pregnant with her at the age of 13. Her mother took her to an abortion clinic where she had a surgical abortion. A few weeks later she realized she was still pregnant so she found an out-of-state late-term abortion clinic to do a second abortion. At the clinic they told her she had been pregnant with twins one was aborted; one survived...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7sRYz7IDru0&feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8KcTEox_hTQ

Hello, I am Kari :)

2011-01-20T05:19:00.001Z

Hello, My name is Kari Darrow. I was born with a twin-sister on July 30,1987. She was born alive and lived for 6 weeks in the NICU. She died on September 10,1987 from a Brain disease called HSV (Herpes Simplex Virus) Type 2. I'll post my full story after I post a little bit about myself. I was just given the opportunity today to be a Contributor/Administrator for this blog and look forward to it:). I am also associated with Twiness Twins Support Group and I help them out a little bit as well. I spend most of my time on the computer. I also go to church, and believe in God. I am a Fundamental Independent Baptist. I also help out in Pro-Life stuff, have since December 2010. I type articles for a Pro-Life site. Oh my spare time I like to be in church as much as possible for events and such, also spend time with people. I love being around people. If you would like to know more about me just ask:). my facebook page is www.facebook.com/twinkari , your welcome to add me as a friend:)

~My Twin Story~ Krista Lee & Kari Lynn Darrow
Diagnoses: 1. Prematurity at 33 weeks gestation.
2. Necrotizing Enterocolitis

On July 30, 1987, due to fetal decelerations with the first twin (Krista), Judy went into spontaneous Labour at 33 weeks gestation. An emergency low segment Caesarian section was performed. Twin A, Krista was born first, Twin B, Kari was born second, breech 30 seconds after. Both weighted 3 pounds, 14 ounces. 15 Inches in length. Blonde hair and blue eyes. Kari Required minimal resuscitation. At 4 hours old Kari developed an episode of apnoea and bradycardia. A septic work-up was performed and was treated with antibiotics. Subsequently the cultures were negative and the antibiotics were discontinued. At three weeks old, Kari developed intolerance to feeds and a distended abdomen with a radiological picture suggestive of necritizing enterocolitis. A septic work-up was performed and was treated. Krista was born with Herpes Simplex Virus, Type 2, Encephalitis. She had systemic herpes virus infection. She had ROM for 7 hours. Mother was negative to have it. Herpetic lesions appeared at the site of scalp dip insertion. The virus in Krista was probably introduced by the scalp dip. They wanted to treat Kari with medicine incase she had Herpes as well. They where not ok with this and instead did some tests too see if Kari had Herpes as well. Mom and Dad, made the decision that they cant cope with taking care of Krista because she was handicapped. My mom expressed alot of anger and detachment. HSV IgM titres in Kari was negative, she did not have the virus.
We were pre-mature by 7 weeks so we needed breathing tubes in our noses. Our heads were shaved bald so that we could also get a scalp dip put in the right side of our foreheads. We where placed in separate incubators in the NICU. Mom and dad came to the hospital often to see us. But it did cause alot of Anger because of Krista's diagnosis. We where always separate though never together at the same time. Mom and dad had to make decisions on what would happen with Krista once she was discharged. Dad wanted to bring her home but mom did not. they wanted to put her in an institution for handicapped people but mom didn't want to bring her home only for a short time until that would happen. It would be hard to bring her home to be with the family, then have her leave. Kari came home September 9. Krista died the next day at 1 months and 11 days old.

Funeral: At Donohue
Burried: At Mount Pleasant

~When I found out about her~
In Fall of 1994 when I was 7 years old my father told me that i had a dead twin sister. He took me back to my moms and showed me a little box that said Krista's name on it and he told me to open it.I looked inside and saw baby clothes, a sweater, hat and, booties. This was the outfit Krista died in. Then I saw a photo album, It had pictures of Krista. Then I saw a bag of Congradulation and sorrow cards. One card said congradulations on having twins and it had 2 loonies in it, That where suposed to be given to us when we got older. Then at the bottom of the box was a little White pillow with a pink ribbon. This was given to Krista after she died . Dad then took me to the cemetery and we found krista's grave and when i looked at it i stomped on it and my dad questioned me about it but i told him i didnt know why i did that. i was trying to see if she would wake up.

Jorge Palma

2011-01-04T23:34:00.005Z

Jorge Palma's song called Só (anlone=just) 1991

Just because of existing
Just because of doubting
I have two souls in war
And I know that none will win

Just because of having two suns
Just because of hesitating
I made my bed at a crossroad
and I called this place home

And there's always someone there
Near that storm
Where feet have no ground
And the hands lose any reason

Only because of facing
Only because of destroying
I have the keys of heaven and hell
and I let time decide

And there's always someone there
Near that storm
Where feet have no ground
And hands lose any reason

Just because of existing
Just bacause of doubting
I have two souls in war
And I know that none will win, I know that none will win.

What will

2011-01-01T23:36:00.000Z

the year ahead bring? Typicall today's the day when we start on New Year's Resolutions, if we bother at all. I've hardly ever, if at all kept mine; in a similar pattern I've very really achieved my goals so.....

At the end of "1111",and the beginning of 2011, I'm creating new pattern for myself by the baby step route.

How many times have we set goals never to achieve them? Whether it's weight loss (we'd look & feel so good in that dress, pair of jeans....); relationships, financial or another area of our lives we've never quite managed it. Today this Womb Twin Survivor has moved a little way on the path to achieving goals. (Just a little word of advice, the effectiveness of this technique, may depend on how far along your own healing path you are.) Ready for it? Ok, here goes.

If you're not setting goals for yourself (or even "things to do today") start now & start small. eg. "Today I will have a herbal tea at breakfast (rather than the normal black); text new years greetings to friends withtout clever wording; watch a tv programme that makes me laugh; get the kids to bed to bed within 15 minutes of my ideal time & tidy one drawer in my desk." And make a committment to yourself to get those tasks done.

This technique is setting yourself up for success as you give yourself a better chance of getting done those things to which you committ. After a while you'll start to realise you can achieve/get done those things which matter to you & so your sense of self-esteem improves.

I feel delighted to have got done what those things that I'd committed to doing. Now to keep it up! (If you find this isn't working for you it may be because you're setting yourself too big/too many things to do in the day; that they're not that important to you or that you're at a place in your journey where you're self-sabotaging.) Whatever scenario is true for you, remember you're in the right place for you right now; be gentle with yourself & allow your healing to continue.

Warm wishes for this Year.

December's Hello From Canada

2010-12-30T03:44:00.003Z

Sorry for the late post, the holiday's have kept me well occupied.

Along with it came the usual emotional ups and downs that the season brings.

Remembering memories of bygone days.

The magic of Christmas and nastalgia heavy in the air.

My memories of those gone to the other side of life before me, my twin, Michael, my Mom and Grandad and sadly many, many others.

Carrying their memories with me, as I live the life set before, adapting , enduring and persevering with enthuiasm. (That's my story and I'm sticking to it! ;P)

Running with it, as I plough through, sometimes with childish enthuiasm, sometimes not so much. Life IS for the living after all.

So the preparing for Christmas, the prime directive.

Volenteering and baking all the goodies set aside for THIS season only. The wrapping of Christmas treasures, random deliveries for Old St. Nick, and sharing lovely memories with the near and dear.

Making more memories and etching them in my brain.

Thankfully, the weather actually cooperated with us this year.

We actually had more rain at times than snow. It made easier for travel up hill and down dale, making all necessary stops.

The usual for this time of year would have made it near impossible to get around.

Truth be told I prefered the change. From the usual frigid temperature when it plummets down to the minus double didgets.

Today, if I didn't know better, I would say it seems that spring is just around the corner.

Happily there were a few beautiful snowfalls with those huge fat flakes that just lazily drift down from the sky like feathers.

For the first time in donkey ages during one of these snowfalls, my girls and I had a big snowball fight with the neighbourhood kids.

Sides equally gathered we let loose our cold projectiles and let fly.

I haven't laughed so hard in absolute ages. It was great fun.

I highly reccomend it if the opportunity arises.

I played like a child and felt my brother Michael right there with me.

Implanting strategy and defense to help in the foray.

Sadly alas, we lost and the other team was rewarded with a handshake,

a Merry Christmas, and candycanes all around.

My sincere hope and wish is that you have the opportunity to laugh like a little child,

dance like no one is watching, and love like there's no tomorrow.

Have a wonderful, prosperous, healthy, and peace filled New Years.

Live In Peace and Peace Will Live In You...

Womb twin lunches, 2011, in England

2010-12-23T11:32:00.000Z

We have set the dates for our womb twin lunches in England in 2011. If you can get there, do come! Book your place today. Althea.

WOMB TWIN DAY GREETINGS from Althea

2010-12-21T07:17:00.001Z

Greetings to all womb twin survivors around the world on Womb Twin day. I hope that this day can be special for you, whatever stage you are at, along the healing path.

If you are just awakening to the possibility that you, or someone dear to you, is a womb twin survivor, then I wish you well on the journey you have just begun. Once you have awakened to the idea, it will not leave you alone until you have processed it completely. Your first step on the healing path has already been taken.

If you have just set out on the healing path - and maybe have my ebook as a guide - than I hope you will explore the links on the web site so you can know as much as possible about what can happen when one twin dies. There are dozens of possible scenarios and only one applies to you, so keep on learning more and more. Try some of these articles, as a start.

If you have been on the healing path for a while but are losing impetus, remember that you may be resisting healing. Here is a little movie to spur you on.

If you are getting to the end of your healing path and its time to face the fact of your twins death by a funeral ritual or a ritual of remembrance, today may be a good day to do it. Chose earth, fire, air or water as your element, and conduct a burial, a burning, or a release into the air or onto water. I have been an assistant at many rituals of this kind and mixed with the sadness is a lightness and joy - if that is your choice, do let us know how you got on. There are poems on the website that express this paradoxical feeling very well.

Lastly, if you have conducted your ritual and have said goodbye to your twin, (perhaps more than one if you are the survivor of a multiple conception) it may be good to create a memorial. We have our new memorial site and we welcome new memorials, so why not take a look? Details here.

I will be thinking of you today. Please let us know what you did and I will put it on my blog.

I am always here, I answer emails as quickly as I can. You can find articles, stories, movies and poetry on my Womb Twin Survivors web site.

The New Year 2011 will bring the publication of my new book, "Womb Twin Survivors ; the lost twin in the Dream of the Womb. " Details here.

I am very excited that this is almost finished, after many years of researching it and nearly two years of writing it. I hope it will help many of you to heal this overlooked and profound primal wound, which we womb twin survivors all share, and which can be healed.

With best wishes for a peaceful and healing experience on Womb Twin Day.

Althea

Approaching Womb Twin Day....

2010-12-20T21:35:00.000Z

Hi,
December the 21st can be a big day for some of us. Acknowledging that I wanted to hold up a candle of hope: you can heal. You can heal. Yes, you really can heal. (People have already walked the path to complete healing from the loss of a wombtwin/s & you can, too.) Please also realise that you do not have to heal: it is your life & your choice. Whatever you're feeling & wherever you are, warm wishes to you on Womb Twin Day.
Andrew

Frida Kahlo

2010-12-12T12:27:00.007Z

She was a wonderful Mexican artist who painted many self-portraits, she was obcessed by her immage. Frida Kahlo's Foundation site writes in her biography: Of her 143 paintings, 55 are self-portraits which often incorporate symbolic portrayals of physical and psychological wounds.
She insisted, "I never painted dreams. I painted my own reality".
I bet she did!
Look here a slideshow of her paintings. Here is one where she even painted two Fridas...

This is my homage to her, and to you all.

November's Hello from Canada

2010-11-21T06:33:00.003Z

The frigidity of the winter season has snuck up on us here in B.C.
The frozen blanket of the white stuff glistens by the light of the moon as the barometer plunges into minus double digits.
The beauty of the fresh fallen snow is almost reverent as it lends a clean, quiet tranquility to our surrroundings. As we gear up for the Season of giving and good cheer.

November is a month that has alot of milestones for me.
It is not only the month I was born (on the 20th and Michael, my twin was delivered).
It is also the anniversary of my last cancer treatment, November 18, 24 years ago.
I was a mere 17 yr old when diagnosed with stage 3b Hodgekin's Disease.
Against the odds, it took 2 years, 4 treatments, and a multitude of surgeries to bring me back to the land of the living.

Like clock work, though, starting the week before, I find myself down right melancholy.
Still, 44 years later I find myself sad, bordering on depressed.

I have alot to be happy about.
My story IS somewhat of a miracle...

Yet, I find myself closing off to people in my life.
I isolate myself and am sometimes snarky towards my family.
I struggle to let people 'in'.

I am learning more and more about being the sole survivor of a multiple birth,
I try to be more sensitive to the signs.
So I can do my best to make the necessary adjustments.

These built in warnings I've learned are my body's way to let me know someone very important in my life is gone.
I was once deadened to these warnings.
Thanks to this site, my awareness and understanding has grown.

As I get older and my journey in this life continues, my heart becomes more open to acknowledging my earliest experiences.
Most importantly the person who shared the most intimate relationship I have ever had,
my 'womb mate'.
My twin, Michael leaves an impact on me, to this day.
I don't expect it will ever change.

Maybe the experience will become a less painful as I continue my journey of survival.
Along with my awareness on how much I have been affected by his loss.

What I know for certian, is that the more I validate my brother, and his impact on my life.
The easier his absence from my life becomes.

I also know we need to validate ourselves as the twinless twins we are.
It is the only way we can find the road to recovery.
Even if we never got the chance to share that twin bond outside the womb.
We are still twins inside our hearts.

Live In Peace and Peace Will Live In You!

Information session and workshop, NYC, May 2011

2010-11-01T07:41:00.001Z

I will be in New York in May 2011, on Saturday 7th to be exact. I will be holding an information session, with all the latest research results and also running a workshop. I will have copies of my new book to sign and Monica and Barbara will be there too with plenty to add from their own experience.

Book your place TODAY and we will contact you with details of venue and payment.

See you there!

Althea

2010-10-30T17:29:00.004+01:00

William Shatner has a programme on TV, here in Canada, called "Weird or What?". Weird name for a telly programme and I had not watched it until last night when, for some reason, I decided to give it a go. He was telling three "Weird" stories. The first was, in no way, weird to me as I have dealt with this situation in my work and, as I am not a scientist, never considered it to be weird. He was telling the story of a man who had had a heart transplant and, thereafter, developed the tastes, personality and preferences of the donor. As the heart is the seat of all of life's issues that does not seem remotely weird to me, but it did to Mr Shatner and so it was investigated. What was amazing to me was that scientists were interviewed who agreed that this could happen! They were of the opinion that cells retain memory of who we are; especially the cells of the heart and brain. Next he investigated perfect circles of ice in rivers. Again I did not find this to be weird. Surely, I thought, there must be some kind of eddy. In due course, this was proved to be the case. Having got this far through the programme I thought I might as well see what the last weird item was and I have to say I am glad I did.
A couple in the USA were in need of financial assistance and applied for State aid. I do not understand the process but that does not matter, the point which does matter is that they were required to provide DNA samples to prove that they were the parents of the four children for whom they were claiming benefits. So far so good. He was found to be the father of all three but she was found to be the mother of.......none! Her DNA did not match that of any of the children. How could this be, as she was the mother; there was SO much evidence to support her claim to be the mother, yet the DNA did not support it. Well, to cut a long story short, it transpires that there is a ..........I'm not sure what it is........condition, syndrome, occurrence, thing?...........where twins are created in utero and then merge to become one human being. It is called Chimera. It occurs at a very early stage of development; when there are only two or four cells. This results in the person having two sets of DNA. If it happens later and the twins were male and female then the person born would be hermaphrodite. If the merging takes place at a later stage still then there would be conjoined twins (as I understand it, remember I am NOT a scientist!) The DNA inherited by the lady's children was from her ovaries, but it was a different DNA to that found in her hair and cheeks. When DNA samples were taken from the usual places the DNA did not match that of the children. When she gave birth to their fourth child the judge ordered that an official was present and that samples were again taken, but yet again this child was, genetically, not hers! The true situation was discovered when they took DNA samples from her cervix and found a second set of DNA.

They said that there are only 40 people known to have this DNA anomaly IN THE WHOLE WORLD! Naturally, it set me thinking about womb twin survivors; could any of us have two sets of DNA? I enclose the link to Wikipaedia on the subject of Chimera, if you scroll down to "See Also" and click on Lydia Fairchild you will find the story of this lady (the version here is slightly different to the Weird or What one, but not markedly so). What an amazing story! What a frightening situation for her to be in! What an interesting thought to think that any of us could actually have, within us, our twin's DNA.

I am a bunch of people

2010-10-28T10:16:00.007+01:00

I found a way towards healing my twin loss wounds by giving myself permission to stay connected, I could even say, fused with my twin(s). My life is their life too, we are together here and now, and when ever I realize this everything changes. Because it helps me to understand my mood changes, my difficultys in relationship, and other subtil things in my character that cause my suffering. It's a refief to know that I am "a great bunch of guys", it makes me realy happy, it lightens me up from inside! :-)

Talking to a therapist about it I got this explanations and I must share them with you, because they are healing words:

Transitions that shift the physical presence of twins on earth do not mean that the connection between them is broken and the relationship is over. Its quite the contrary in my experience. The twinship lives on with a strong power that effects one's life in numerous ways. When it is owned, integrated and given a sanctuary inside one's heart, it can be a force that enhances, enriches and empowers one's life.

Though a clear 'goodbye' might be something that is healing for some people, for others it is the very acceptance and connection with one's twin that brings freedom and a new ability to live. Even if one comes to a place of saying some kind of a 'goodbye', whatever that means for that individual, the 'goodbye' is often simply a means of finding a new and different way of holding the twin connection and allowing it to live on.

What is important is that each surviving twin find the way that will enable them to ultimately embrace, own and celebrate their own life while integrating their twin loss. Everyone must find their own way of integrating their twin loss. Some stay actively and consciously connected with their twins; others may go unconscious and spend their life seeking to fill the void or find the one who left; while others might find other strategies that ultimately do or don't become supports for their own growth.

Twinship, weather there is loss or not, is not something that one says good bye to in my experience. It is something that one holds dear, misses, yearns for, deeply embraces, remembers, celebrates, honors and ultimately accepts and moves forward with. It is in the acceptance of one's twinship and the twins transitional loss that one can establish a new connection with one's own individual path as well as one's twin(s).

You sound as if you have connected to your own guidance and knowing about what path is right for you. It sounds as if your deeper wisdom, relative to your lost twins, is showing you how to walk forward in a way that will support you to stay connected and also live a joyous, free and integrated life; and that is what we all want and need.
This is a testimony of what it might be like to be a bunch of guys. Enjoy!

Babies and children who are womb twin survivors

2010-10-26T08:16:00.002+01:00

This is Claudia's presentation, given at the Womb Twin conference.

Well done, Claudia!

Vanishing twin syndrome - by a womb twin survivor

2010-10-12T18:12:00.000+01:00

Dr Denise Moffat has some interesting observations about womb twin survivors.

The Vanishing Twin Syndrome is personified by certain personality characteristics, gestational features and spiritual lessons. There is a higher incidence of this syndrome in healers. The theory is that if they could not save their own twin, their destiny is to dedicate themselves to saving others in the world. Do you have a vanishing twin?

Lawrence Wright’s article, Double Mystery published in the New Yorker, August 7, 1995 explained that one out of eighty or ninety live human births produces twins. With the advent of ultrasonography it has been determined that at least one-eighth of all natural pregnancies begin as twins. This is evident when the first ultrasound detects twins and the second one does not. So what happens to these twins? Often, one external sign of a vanishing twin is vaginal bleeding. Using emotional clearing, I often detect vanishing twins. It seems to be more common with people in “care-giving” fields. Here are some of the findings and similarities I have put together over the years with Vanishing Twin Syndrome patients:

Typical Personality Characteristics of the Surviving Twin:

Control Issues: The surviving twin often has control issues and it may be based on the premise that since they couldn’t control what happened in utero, they are doing everything in their power to do so now.
Survivor’s guilt: There is a lot of survivor’s guilt for taking the nutrition from the vanishing twin, not being able to help prevent the death of the twin and viewing this resorption process in utero. Once identifying this occurrence, the patient must go through the grieving process like in any death of someone that means a great deal to them. They experience loss, guilt, grief and anger at being separated from the twin. Sometimes the survivor does not care if they live or die and may occasionally have thoughts of suicide.
No competition: Survivors don’t usually like competitive sports unless they are competing against themselves. They subconsciously feel that if they compete with others, death may result. They want everyone to get along and work together.
Sabotaging relationships: Sabotaging happens when relationships start going too well. The superconscious/subconscious thinking is that if they get close to someone that they will be in danger and might die from the actions of the surviving twin. Because they love this person so much, they will push them away to protect them. They also seem to self-sabotage to make sure they have paid for what their role was that caused their twin to depart in utero.
Not deserving: The survivor often feels they don’t deserve all the good this world has to offer so they find ways to exclude themselves from receiving good. They are major givers, but not very accepting takers.
Money issues: These are motivated people. Because they do such good in the world, often money follows. The problem is that Vanishing Twins don’t seem to be able to hold onto the money because they self-sabotage. Survivor’s guilt prevents them from using the money for their own care. They give it away or let it flow through their hands, not keeping any of it for themselves.
Fascination with or friends with twins: Twins have a special energetic bonding with each other which lasts their entire lives. Just because your twin left you in utero, doesn’t break that energetic bond. And if you don’t feel your twin still around you, naturally you will be attracted to twin energy.
Feeling abandoned, left out, and excluded: These are the kids who get picked last for the team, who don’t make friends easily and feel like other’s can’t relate to what they are going through. They are searching for close relationships but can’t seem to find them. Often they would rather spend time with older people than kids their own age.
Low self-esteem, lack of self-love: This is one of the major Spiritual lessons that the survivor must work through before they can fully be the gift to the world that God intends. Low self esteem is intertwined with Unconditional Love of Self, Trust and Discernment, and Worthiness lessons. See handout on Spiritual Lessons for more on this.
Vanishing Twins are often in the Healing Field: Since they could not heal the situation in utero, they are intent on healing the world and saving others. There are lots of surviving twins who are massage therapists, doctors and nurses.
Vanishing Twins say or think, “I wish I could find somebody like me.”
Other Weird Stuff: I actually had one woman I was working on take out a picture from her wallet to show me who her vanishing twin was. She explained that she believed in reincarnation and that she somehow felt attached to this man. When I asked her if she had ever met the man she said she hadn’t, but that she felt compelled to cut his picture out and carry it around with her. At the time she had had the picture in her wallet for over two years.
How much do you know about your gestation and birth? The following items are clues in determining if you have a vanishing twin:
Trauma to the mother: Three to four months in utero is about the time the twin “checks out” and is being reabsorbed by the body. What are some causes? Some include getting hit in the stomach, car accidents, falling down a flight of stairs, emotional trauma, experiencing high fever from an illness, violent vomiting, etc.
Did your mother smoke? Studies show that smoking lowers the oxygen content of the blood so less oxygen is available to the fetus. Smoking is also associated with low birth weights. So does that mean there is less available nutrition for two fetuses?
History of twins in the bloodlines: Are there twins in the family? If so, there is a greater chance of repeating that within the same family lines.
Long labor: Here’s how this works–when you have one baby ready to come out, the placenta (the sac that contains the fetus) and the pituitary gland produce a certain amount of a hormone called oxytocin (also called pitocin). The function of oxytocin is to cause muscular contractions to push the baby out. So, if there are two babies, then there is a proportionately larger amount of oxytocin. But, if one of the fetuses dies, there is not enough oxytocin to push out the extra residual placenta associated with the dead fetus, and the birthing process takes much longer. These days, a cesarean section is performed when the shutdown occurs to take the stress off the fetus.
No ultrasound background: If you were born before the 60’s, most likely your mom did not have an ultrasound so twins could easily be missed. An x-ray was only rarely taken because we didn’t want to expose the baby to radiation unnecessarily.
Giving birth in a hospital before the 70’s: There used to be a time when doctors only gave their patient the information they thought they needed to know at the time. If the mother had a difficult birth or there was extra placenta or a resorbed fetal membranes, the doctor gave these to the nurse who disposed of them and did not tell the mother about it. I think midwives were a little more open to this miracle and included mothers in the information they gathered about their birthing and findings. Many midwives I’ve talked with have these placentas in their freezers and use them to educate other midwives about the process. Also, some midwives would save these extra placental tissues for the mother for a special burial ceremony later.
Many eggs released, few fertilized: A woman’s ovaries produce hundreds of thousands of eggs from the ovarian tissue over her reproductive lifetime. Only a few of these are released each month. It takes the influence of several million sperm surrounding the egg for one to finally penetrate the egg and fertilize it. It seems as we get older, that twins are more common. Maybe it’s our body’s last ditch effort to procreate.
Imperfections or improper nutrients reaching both feti: It would make sense that not every egg is perfect and not every sperm is perfect. When the imperfection is too great, problems can occur in regards to the available nutrition for one or both of the babies. When this happens, the fetus starves and is then resorbed back into the body. The remaining fetus then has enough nutrition to grow to full-term.
Do you have any dermoid cysts? This is a little tumor made of every conceivable type of cell from skin cells, hair cells, tooth cells and more. Evidence of a resorbed fetus or a vanishing twin? I think so.

Life Lessons associated with the Vanishing Twin Syndrome:
These are the typical issues that the surviving twin must work through to live a full, happy, and productive life. Although many other people without twins also have to work through these issues, I see these lessons every time with those who have a vanishing twin.

I love and accept myself unconditionally.
I am important and a gift to our world.
I deserve all the good this world has to offer.
I am worthy.
I forgive myself.
I forgive God/Jesus/My Higher Power.
God loves me.

If you relate to some of this information, you may have a vanishing twin. I would recommend the article: Life in the Womb: Dangers and Opportunities by David B Chamberlain, Ph.D.

© 2005 by Dr. Denice M. Moffat

This article comes with reprint rights providing no changes are made and the resource box below accompanies it.

Dr. Denice Moffat is a practicing naturopath, medical intuitive, and veterinarian working on the family unit (which includes humans and animals) through her phone consultation practice established in 1993. She has a content-rich website at http://www.NaturalHealthTechniques.com and free monthly newsletter. She has a vanishing twin sister.

The conference! What a result!

2010-10-04T20:21:00.000+01:00

Well, we managed it, after a real struggle to get enough people. In the end we went forward with a group of 11, and we had to adapt things to their needs, but the open space format helped, because we were able to negotiate two presentations and two workshops, which seemed to satisfy everyone. The group was a bit too small to split, everyone thought, so we did everything as a single group. The rain fell relentlesly and occasionally there was a glimpse of sun, we mixed and mingled talked and drank a great deal of tea and coffee in the corridor outside, and browsed the literature table and shop.

The presentations were, first, about a study of womb twin survivors carried out in Hungary - yes, Viktoria Sas came all the way from Hungary to be there! - that compared a group of 14 people ( out of a total of 114) who had found their womb twin in a family constellation group with the others who had not, using a questionnaire similar to mine but with some different statements. The same proportion appeared: 1 in 8 of the group were womb twu survivors. Also the commonest effect was "searching for something but not knowing what it is". Also a need to control and perfectionism were found also to be significant effects.

{As Viktoria is skilled at statistics,she has offered to help me with analysing the questionnaire results when I have 1000. I also have another English Victoria who is skilled at statistical analysis and has offered her services free. Two new volunteers!}

Then secondly Alfred Ramoda Austermann from Berlin explained some of the healing techniques he had developed to help people with trauma and in particular the trauma of losing a twin before birth. His particular skill is family constellation.

After a substantial lunch in the dining hall with many other people who had come to the centre for meetings that day ( there were about 8 other groups doing other things, a busy day for the centre!) It was time to tackle the thorny issue of sexuality, then another tea break. and we were exploring the general topic of twinship.

On Sunday we made a ritual enactment of the healing path, using all kind of props, such white black and silver cloth,pink ballons, stones, scarves, boxes and even horse chestnuts! As each person walked their healing path , we all watched in wonder as the props became a Black hole, the essence of Spirit, Alpha energy, trouble, memories and different gender energy. Beautiful!

Finally after the Annual genetral meeting of wombtwin.com, we sat round and planned the next event. Ill describe that on the wombtwin.com blog.

In all, the wonderful, special energy in the group that is typical of womb twin survivors, I have discovered, and three new volunteers to help with the organisation.

A good result. I am glad we didn't cancel!

September's Hello From Canada

2010-09-25T21:52:00.003+01:00

It is gorgeous today, here in B.C.
The sun shines for the first time in a couple of days.
Reminicient of summers heat and slower pace.
It never seizes to amaze me how quickly summer fades,
on the heels of fall, as it bursts forth in a splendor of colour.
Even if those colours are in all shades of grey, at times.
The reds, yellows and golds of fall are so beautiful here.
With today's backdrop of an endless light blue sky as the sun shines down.

I'm sorry I have no idea of how the rest of the world's seasons change, having not spent significant time anywhere but here. (And a 6 week vacation on the Big Island of Hawaii when I was 15.)
The landscape in B.C. it is truely something to behold during fall.

I feel very blessed as I listen to my harpist, daughter lovingly pluck her harp's strings into a fleeting melody.
As my younger daughter, loves on me with her kindness, doing this and that for me.
As I am busy writing today. The first free time I have had to do so in a while.
My cup runneth over!

These are the memories that stays with a person for a lifetime.
Memories, and a safe place I have tried to create for my children.
Through the tumultuous storms in life, there is always the safe harbour that's home.

As I recall my own childhood. A time in which I did not always feel safe.
I felt it was only me against this big world, with no one on my side.
I was the outsider in my own family growing up.
(A fact gleaned from my oldest sister one time, when I actually had the guts to ask.)
Everyone looked to me as an oddity, 'a freak of nature', because I was the one who survived against the odds. They seemed to walk on eggshells when around me.

At times I believe my safe place died along with my twin brother, Michael.
As a child, I always thought, I would have felt safer and not so alone if he had not died.

As I reflect back now, Michael would have died this month, 43 years ago.
This is my very first realization that Michael passed away in the month of September.
Two months later I would be born and Michael, delivered.

Ah ha! Light bulb moment here, people! No wonder I do my darndest to hold onto summers warmth.
I am usually fighting fall kicking and screaming.
(As I sit on my back patio enjoying the sun's heat in a tank top, shorts, and flip flops.)
My body's memory remembers even if I do not.
I, unknowlingly have fought the end of summer because deep down,
I knew it was when Michael's life ended.

As I recover from this new realization, I see there IS a reason for everything.
I peel back the layers of my life for re-examination on this summer-like day.
I pause in the faster pace of fall's embrace.
I sit here,
with a new understanding,
in the changed pace that weekends afford.
As it lends the opportunity to recall the past.
Which is a rare luxury during one of the busiest times of the year.

Back to school and the many activities we resume now that the summer break is over.
It gives little time for enjoying the scene put forth, or time for repose.
Those activities we must jealously guard in hopes for preservation.
I will guard those fleeting moments as they arise.

The older I get, the quicker the days seem to fly past.
Cherishing and holding onto those moments shared with my girls.
Memorizing all those little things that make life so worthwhile and treasured.
Along with those quiet fleeting moments, treasured in the
sun's warmth and in summers memory.
As we do our best to pace ourselves in falls chill, painted splendor, and busier pace.

Live In Peace And Peace Will Live In You...

Books for young womb twin survivors

2010-09-17T10:45:00.001+01:00

We are beginning a project for womb twin survivor babies and children. Already, Valerie Samuels has written a lovely book for young womb twin survivors.

She has written about her experiences here.

Also there is Claudia Pinheiro's boook, based on a story told to her by her own daughter about her twin, available through Wren Publications.

Claudia will be speaking about her book, which she has developed into a workbook, at the conference in the UK on 1st October. (more here)

Then there is another book for children being prepared for 2011 as a "Womb Twin Book" - the first of many books we hope, specially-developed for womb twin survivors and their families. More about that later!

Althea

2010-09-14T16:22:00.002+01:00

Hi everyone,

Just wanted to remind that there is still space left for our coming wombtwincafé on Saturday, September 18th.

For more in formation go to www.wombtwin.be

Hope to meet you there!

Koen

Hallo iedereen,

Ter herinnering wilde ik nog even vermelden dat er nog plaatsen vrij zijn voor ons wombtwincafé van zaterdag aanstaande (18 september)

Voor meer informatie surf naar www.wombtwin.be

Ik hoop jullie daar te ontmoeten!

Koen

A modern perspective on womb twin survivors.

2010-09-14T00:35:00.005+01:00

One of our members, Lynda Haddon, wrote this article about my recent book which deals with a womb twin survivor. I thought other members might benefit from what she says from an even more modern perspective than I'd ever considered.

"There is a life before life that most often goes unrecorded and even unrecognized in the human journey. It is life in the womb; a space for incubation often treated as a pre-history of no special consequence to the life narrative that follows. As technology has sharpened our gaze into this ambiotic existence, human experience has been irrevocably altered. Such gains in insight can also create losses, unexpected twists and turns of ante-natal life that can carry great significance.

A woman, pregnant, seeing her first ultrasound image can see the outline of two babies. Then, a follow-up appointment, a second ultrasound, and the twin has vanished. A precious child is gone, a sibling lost, and so is a unique parenting experience.

The fate of the Vanishing Twin remains enigmatic. Was it an apparition, an aberration of imaging, or a legitimate loss, a being leaving no trace of its existence apart from a searing image in its mother’s and often its womb-mate’s mind?

It is not uncommon for people, seemingly ignorant of this ‘loss’ to develop fantasies about “being with someone else,” or needing to live their lives for two. Is it a personal memory of womb life or an intuition of an unexpressed part of their mother’s mind?

If told later in life about the loss, there are often feelings of relief at not being “crazy” but sometimes too, anger and distress at not being told all along.

Sylvia Dickey Smith‘s novel. A WAR OF HER OWN makes an important contribution to womb-twin survivors by raising awareness of this phenomenon and educating others as to what can be its long-term possible emotional effects.

“…..I used to feel guilty for being alive,” observed one survivor who lost her

womb-mate early in her mother’s pregnancy, “I thought my parents hated me because I was not it……I often feel very alone and low.”

We know that multiples (twins, triplets etc) are aware of each other in utero. Hence, when womb-mates fail to survive, a rent in the fabric of identity can be the result for the womb-twin survivor. Being with another at this formative stage of life can surely leave a lasting impression with reverberating impact. How to grieve a life that in many ways wasn’t? How to mourn a Vanishing Twin when there is no one to validate its life? Here, we have a baby of technology, an image on a photo, a welcome addition whose existence remains un-named.

New technologies are also creating new losses that society has yet to fully

acknowledge. The culling of fetuses following in vitro implantation when too many take hold is a prime example. A necessary step to improve the chances of survival of the other babies, it can nonetheless complicate post-natal life for parents and for those babies who survive. A major hurdle is that a loss must be recognized before it can be grieved. Such losses, therefore, can pass under the radar of what society views as a legitimate loss. A loss unnamed, of course, is not necessarily a loss unrecognized at a deeper emotional level.

Lynda Haddon

Multiple Birth Educator

Multiple Birth: Prenatal Education & Bereavement Support

www.multiplebirthsfamilies.com

Recipient of a Community Builder's Award from United Way for her work in the multiple birth community and with the Ottawa Coalition for the Prevention of Low Birth Weight. Recipient of two Awards from Multiple Births Canada for her work both nationally and internationally.

Conference versus workshops

2010-09-13T09:22:00.000+01:00

I have been thinking about the conferences we have arranged so far: the feedback in every case has been, "May we have more time to talk to each other?" So I have done that, and this year, as we are all at the same conference centre, 24 hours a day, there will be plenty of time to mix and mingle and feel that blessed relief that comes from being in a room full of womb twin survivors, who all understand how you feel. [details here]

However, there is so much more that can be offered, not just an annual conference. I am going to experiment - on my own initiative this time, not through WombTwin.com - with a weekend workshop, for womb twin survivors only and not more than 8 people.

Can I have some feedback on how this could be carried out? Theoretically, if you were to come to a weekend workshop (Friday evening to Sunday afternoon) what kind of thing would you like to experience?

I was thinking of April 2011, at the same place as this years conference. What do you all think?

From WOMBTWIN to WOMBTWIN SURVIVOR

2010-08-27T14:51:00.001+01:00

Today I become MY OWN: From Womb Twin to Womb Twin Survivor

Two years ago TODAY, August 27, 2008, I began the celebration of my 50th birthday at the Primary Chiropractic Center in Manchester, Missouri. It was there that an Applied Kinesiology and Brain Integration Technique Professional confirmed in the spoken word what I have instinctively known all my life. I am a twin! My twin sister’s name is Joy. We are identical female twins, both redheads, I am the savior/caretaker/protector/leader…Joy is the introvert who loves mint ice cream. (well, Joy can be quite spunky and boisterous, too, when she wants to be ; - ) ).
Today is August 27, 2010 and today I learn to stand on my own. I am no longer a wombtwin, I am, today, for the first time in my life a WOMB TWIN SURVIVOR. What is the difference, you ask? Joy is gone, I AM HERE! I will move on with my life from this day forward as ONE INDIVIDUAL, alone, a little sad, and yet peaceful in a way I do not yet fully understand, and that is okay!
My birthday cake today will be a ritual sending off party for my beautiful sister Joy, whose memory is now honored and recognized on the IN MEMORIAL page of the WOMB TWIN WORLD website. I will always and forever be a twin. I will always and forever love Joy. But today I become ME, JUST ME! My Birthday cake will be a symbol as I will begin the day with TWO sets of candles –TWO 5’s and TWO 2’s on my cake. I will end the day with ONE set of candles, MINE! And to help concretize the moving on of Joy and the wholeness and new beginnings for me, the open "wound" on the top of the cake from the REMOVAL of the second set of candles will be lovingly and wholistically filled with new and fresh and beautiful icing symbolizing the new wholeness that is ME! ME, ME, ME, ME, and oh by the way, ME !!!!
My dearest Jo-y, as we say goodbye to one way of “knowing” each other and enter into our new way of “knowing” ourselves, may I say it has been difficult to love both of us and live for both of us. I need my freedom now, oh sweet one, to live the rest of my life, alone. I will always remember you but I shall no longer take care of you. You do not need that from me. It is I, as the survivor, who needs the care now. Your role as my sister is not eliminated, only changed. You live in heaven. I live on earth. That is our reality. I know that now. It is time to live that reality .
And so to you, my dearest Jo-y, I dedicate this 52nd birthday. And to ME, Josephine, I CELEBRATE this 52nd Birthday as the first day of the rest of MY OWN LIFE.
Peacefully, lovingly and with IMMENSE love, I wish glory and fulfillment to us both, each in our own ways, each in our own worlds. I love you Jo-y and I must let you go. You are FREE today and SO AM I. Is there any better gift? For today, I see nothing more beautiful and glorifying than to FREE you to God and FREE ME to survive and thrive on earth to love and serve others and myself. It is my calling and so I shall follow it.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO US! Today My REAL, EARTHLY, WOMB TWIN SURVIVOR LIFE BEGINS IN A NEW WAY. I am ready!
With tremendous respect and immense love to all of us who walk this path,
Love you ALL so very much, I could NEVER have come to this moment without YOU by my side.
Blessings abundant to all…but today ESPECIALLY BLESSINGS to ME !!!!! AMEN. Love, Josephine

2010-08-25T05:33:00.003+01:00

My journey to being a twin was interrupted when my twin died and completed when I found Wombtwin Survivors.
The pieces of the puzzle were collected over a period of about 30 years; from a question from my mother when I was on Maternity secondment, to a vision of my twin's death, to reading Althea's work. The pieces just all fell into place; my soul knew the truth and the truth set me free.

My work as an Aman Cara takes me into many of the nooks and crannies of the soul....of others....so understanding some of my own is revealing to say the least.
I knew I was searching for something........but what?
I knew I was different to everyone I know......but why?
I knew I wanted relationships which were deep, intense and personal........but why doesn't anyone else?
I knew I would never know.............but I was wrong.

I am a twin. My brother died before we were born. I am not alone there are others like me and they too want the kind of relationship I want.
I have already felt connected to Althea, like a big sister, and Andrew, in Ireland, like a brother. I have other 'siblings' out in the world. Men and women who lost their twin before they could even know them; but they did know them and that makes life very confusing.

The New Testament of the Bible was written in Greek and translated into English. English is a very limited language in many ways and the translators translated two Greek words with one English word......"know".
The two Greek words mean...'to know intellectually' and ....'to know by special relationship'. We did not know (intellectually) our twins, but we did know (have a special relationship with) them.

Listen to your heart and follow your peace. You are not alone.

August post from B.C., Canada

2010-08-20T03:27:00.003+01:00

Dog Days of Summer...

It sure has been hot (35 degrees celcius yesterday) in my little part of the world.
For this time of year, almost record breaking.
Don't get me wrong , all year round , I look forward to the summers heat.
Especially in the winter when the snow is almost waist deep.
Living in the desert of B.C. sure has taught us how to manage the day to stay cool.
The windows covered in the heat of the day, to keep the heat in the house to a minimum.
A/C on maximum, fans a blowing in every room that has no A/C.
Staying up till the birds come up some nights, sleeping till the afternoon, hours you could never keep Sept. to June. (thankfully, I work in the school system so I get the same holidays with my kids)
The dangers of a hot summer, is evident all around my Beautiful British Columbia.
In the air a haze as the smoke rises from the forest fires as they change the landscape.

When I was a kid, I remember those dog days of summer differently.
The world seemed alot cleaner, fresher some how. Yes, summers were hot and spent splashing around a pool somewhere.
Endless lazy days spent baking in the hot sun on a towel, day dreaming about my twin, listening to the radio.
Days so hot you couldn't wait for them to end. Enjoying those balmy nights listening to the crickets sing their song.
When you just wanted the season to change for the cooler temperature.
The second it cooled off, you would feel that sick feeling in the pit of your stomach knowing that back to school would be just around the corner.
School was a very difficult experience for me.
It was the place where I became painfully aware that I was very different from everyone else.
I was missing my twin, I was undiagnosed dyslexic, I had a definate learning disability, on top of all that, from chronic ear infections I was/am hard of hearing. I became a master lip reader and faked my way through.
I did not fit in, square peg, round hole.
I did not understand what was going on half the time. I had very few friends, no confidante.
My coping mechanism was to go off in my own little world. The world where it was Michael and I.
We were together, and it was me and him against this big, crazy world.
In the hot, dog days of summer we would play, sun up to sun down.
Only going home for food. Michael, Rocka (our golden lab) and I would chase the horses, bare footed with only our bathing suites on. Running the in back field (paddock), pretending we were running with our pack of wild mustangs.
Or we would hang up side down in the cherry tree, head to head, quietly giggling, spying on who ever was down below.
Or we would fall asleep under the stars, listening to the quiet sounds of summer.
Safe, secure, loved, and understood!
Where I was no longer ALONE, AFRAID, and HURTING.
The way be would have been, if this was the perfect world of my dreams.
Thankfully, I have had the summers unscheduled luxury to have been able to reflect on these precious, but forgotten lazy dog days of summer...
Thank-you Althea for this forum to share... Live in Peace and Peace Will Live in You!

Althea Interviews Sylvia About Her Historical Fiction of a Wombtwin Survivor

2010-08-15T15:19:00.000+01:00

Althea and I (Sylvia) did an interview recently about my latest book just out called A War Of Her Own the story of a young woman during WWII who is a womb twin survivor. Although fiction, this story is loosely based on my mother and her family during that time period. I asked for the privilege of posting the interview here in case the story might strike a chord with our blog readers.

Althea: Hallo Sylvia. I am delighted to see that you have included a womb twin survivor in your novel. As someone who works with womb twin survivors I am always pleased when someone mentions it. How did this idea come to you?

Sylvia: Hi, Althea, and thank you for allowing me to talk about my newest book A War Of Her Own. I do believe this story will speak to womb twin survivors—it spoke to me, and I am one, too! Actually, the writing of the work greatly facilitated my healing.

A War Of Her Own is set in my hometown of Orange, Texas. For those of you who don’t know Texas, Orange is just a few miles from the Gulf of Mexico—where hurricanes are want to blow and mosquitoes—lots of mosquitoes—grow as big as dragonflies. Not really, but at times they seem like they're that big, but a lot more ferocious. The Sabine River separates Orange, Texas from southwest Louisiana—Cajun country.

A War Of Her Own is set during a fascinating period—World War II, when the small town’s population exploded 700% almost overnight when local shipyards gained contracts with the Department of Defense to build warships such as destroyers, destroyer escorts, landing craft, tugboats and the like.

People still suffering the backlash of the Great Depression flooded the town for the jobs there, now for the taking. Soon, all hell broke loose. Society and culture changed right before people’s eyes. Women took jobs previously performed by men--and did them well! Many families slept in rented “hotbeds”—beds still warm from the body of the person who just arose and went to work at shipyards working around the clock. War housing was built over night on river sand pumped in from the river bottom.

Before I started the book, I knew it would be a story told through the eyes of a woman. The title, A War Of Her Own came to me before the plot. The rest of the story unfolded as I wrote the first draft.

Althea: Did you imagine one of your characters as a womb twin survivor right at the start or did it kind of creep up on you as an idea?

Sylvia: It crept up on me. I’ve always been fascinated with that period of history, particularly the effects it had on my hometown and my family. My parents lived in Orange during that time period and I remember so many stories I’ve heard over the years about what life was like. I’d tuck those ideas away, pull them out and work on the project for a while. Then I’d stall over the hook and put it aside. I knew my character, I knew my setting, but I didn’t know why she was so sad. Many stories revolve around family secrets, but I didn’t know hers. Then several elements in my life clicked and the whole idea of writing a story about a womb twin survivor cemented itself in my psyche. I picked up the story again and didn’t stop until I completed it.

Althea: Fascinating. Now do you think that (your main character) was molded by this early experience in any way?

Sylvia: Oh, absolutely. I think that because I believe I am a womb twin survivor. I was born many years before there was such a thing as ultra-sound. However, I spent many years crying myself to sleep at night, feeling like I lived in a half-empty womb—a womb both a graveyard and a birthing chamber.

Then, several years ago I stumbled on your website and recalled hearing my mother talk about one day during the early stages of her pregnancy with me. She stood at her ironing board ironing when a gush of blood poured down her legs and into her shoes. Another day, my sister told of once when she, Dad and Mom went to a local carnival and as soon as they stepped onto the fairway, blood again started pouring down Mom’s legs and they had to go home. Both times, my mother thought she had miscarried. Either that, or her period had just been late. She did not go to a doctor, which was common in those days. Later, she realized she was still pregnant.

When I learned about womb twin survivors, my life fit the model. I knew then why I had always felt the way I had. I was a surviving twin—or triplet. When I told my older sister, it rang true with her. (She remembered all those nights when she lay beside me while I cried, feeling so unlovable.)

Althea: Did you have to do much research to make sure you got it right or did you draw your ideas from your personal experience of being a womb twin survivor yourself?

Sylvia: Yes and no. My research about womb twin survivors is told from personal experience, confirmed by what I’ve learned from you and other websites on the topic. My research included the historical aspect of the era. What it was like for women who went to work as a riveter. For the symptoms of the womb twin survivor, I worked from personal experience. I know there is much more to the effects of being a womb twin survivor—much more than my experience. But I wanted to keep this simple and clear as an introduction to the subject. I know many people have never heard of it, and many could benefit from an introduction. Nice, slow and easy. I also wanted to show how insidious the syndrome can be and how it can effect our lives in subtle, yet still overpowering ways that end up making us dysfunctional without realizing the grief we carry--sometimes at an unconscious level.

Althea: Now that you have started on this topic do you have any ideas for further stories that may involve womb twin survivors?

Sylvia: Actually, a fan suggested I continue with this story, making it a series. The suggestion was to write the next step in Bea’s life—A Life Of Her Own and the third, A Love of Her Own. Who knows? Depends on my muse. I do know this topic will continue to grow. I have been encouraged by those who read the advance reading copies, and of their interest in the topic. My hope is this tale opens up the subject for common discussion. It is a syndrome that impacts our lives more than many realize. Hopefully WT members will read this work and learn from it, and refer the book to others.

Also, Althea, because of my commitment to Womb Twin Survivors and the work your organization does to help other, for every book sold through Womb Twin connections, I will make a $1.00 donation to the organization. All a buyer need do is to let me know when and where they purchased the book. I can be reached at sylvia@sylviadickeysmith.com.

The book is available or can be ordered online and brick and mortar bookstore. Folks with a U.S. shipping address can order an autographed copy of the book for my website at A War Of Her Own.

It is available on in the U.K. at Amazon.com/uk

And in Canada at: Amazon.com/ca

Althea: Thank you, Sylvia, for your generous contribution. We wish you good luck.

Sylvia: Thank you for letting me share a part of my healing journey here on the blog and for all your effort at helping others.

Stepping into Space

2010-08-15T11:10:00.000+01:00

As a womb twin survivor who's pretty much "done" in terms of healing, next week I'm giving everything up (lncluding food & personal hygiene!) to do a week long retreat. Will be living on a diet of low glycaemic juice, doing minduflness excercises & enduring enemas, compensated for by having massage & walks in shady woodland!

Whatever happens as a result of this week away is ok as I've let go of attachment to any outcome for my life; instead I'm open to what I'm called to do. This seems like stepping off the "floor of familiarity" into space, trusting that I'm looked after & that Divinge Guidance is there. My job is to listen & be still enough. When we are slow down & are still, that's when magic can enter our lives. There is a brilliant quote about one of our greatest causes of unhappiness being unable to sit still & alone with ourselves. As we progress along our healing path, that's most definitely true.

Andrew

A new idea: a place to make a beautiful memorial to your womb twin

2010-08-14T07:24:00.000+01:00

On the womb twin web site we have created a special place for every one of you to create a virtual memorial plaque for your womb twin. Each one looks like a little image sitting on a web page, barely visible, but when you click it it will enlarge as big as you want it, so you can see all the details.

A wonderful metaphor for the way that your lost womb twin seems so insignificant to the casual disinterested observer, so that that no one believes such an early loss can possibly matter at all. It's not until we take a REALLY close look, that we are able to see all the details - then the true extent of this loss is made visible.

It takes about a week for your special memorial to be created; there is a whole gallery of special images to use, or you can create your own image and send it to us. All it takes is a donation to WombTwin.com and your memorial plaque will be up there for all the world to see.

We have developed the image of the birds, and they are all taking off into the blue...

It's just a trickle at the moment, but soon there will be hundreds..... It's here. Take a look for yourself.

USING REIKI with WOMBTWIN GOODBYES

2010-08-11T07:23:00.001+01:00

My name is Jo. My womb twin is Joy Elizabeth Sarah. She was absorbed into my body as a teratoma and surgically removed on April 5, 1989. That made for a horrid memory of a funeral for my sister. I have been "percolating" in the world of my womb twin and very confused for a long time. I had my teratoma confirmed as a womb twin in 2008. (on the exact date of my 50th birthday...August 27, 2008) Since then I have baptized her, bought both of us toys and treasures, and been completely obsessed with her.

Sunday, August 8, 2010, I taught my first Reiki Level One class. As with all things, when I teach, I learn the most. Joy spoke to me after I asked my co-teacher who has psychic abilities to talk to Joy for me. I was told three things:

I love you
I have always been with you
I would like mint ice cream for my birthday.

What happened for me is that I broke loose tears from a long time waiting.

After Sunday, and the new release of grief, I connected immediately back to my homeground with Womb twin.com. I started blogging on the Womb Twin USA site and had the complete honor of talking to Monica over Skype.

(that conversation was yesterday, August 9, 2010).

TODAY, August 10, 2010, one of my adopted daughters was attempting to give birth. She ran into complications and the family engaged me as a prayer warrior. I did pray and I also asked permission to do distance Reiki.

HERE COMES MY MIRACLE:

As I was praying for Ashley and her C-Section birthing of her baby Camryn, I felt called to image my opening up of my own of my abdomen where Joy, my wombtwin, resided for 30 years with me. As I continued to send Reiki to Ashley I too received a blessing. I felt my abdomen shrink into nothing and where my midsection scar remains from my surgery in 1989 feels like it is sunken in tissue and all shriveled up on either side of the scar. Joy is free, she is not mad at me for letting her go and I am going to just sit with this new event to see where it takes me.

Reiki seems yet another wonderful tool to help us heal and deal and feel our wombtwin world.

Submitted with love, respect, humility and intense gratefulness.

Goodbye JOY, from my abdomen and HELLO JOY to my world of memorial.

FEELING BLESSED,

Josephine (Jo)

WombTwin USA

USA: A beautiful ritual of farewell

2010-08-10T08:49:00.000+01:00

This is from Barbara in the USA:

Yesterday I said goodbye to my fraternal boy twin. It was a most amazing spiritual and significant experience--words can't quite do it! Accompanied by my friend Monica, I had THE MOST incredible farewell ceremony for Carl! I had decided three days earlier that I needed to say goodbye. We were done, it was over, and I was ready to move forward, and rapidly. The night before, I still had no idea how I wanted to say goodbye, but knew there was nothing tangible about him so there was nothing to tear, bury, burn, caress, hold. In the morning we bought lots of very healthy food for my house, to nourish myself, and one nice loaf of bread for Carl ("Old World Bread with Caraway (care-away!) Seeds"). We drove to a beautiful white, sandy beach in Connecticut on Long Island Sound, in perfect weather--sun, a nice breeze, clean white sand and wonderful beachy air. After hours of relaxing, sunbathing and dipping into the water, we decided it was the right time to say goodbye. As I was singing a song I chose in preparation for letting him go, two birds approached our blanket and sat in the sand, waiting. There was no time to finish that perfect song. They were not going to leave--NOW was the time! I jumped up, went to the edge of the water, and started throwing bits of bread. All the birds in the area heard about the free food and descended, eating happily as I was saying goodbye to Carl, running and dancing along the shore, laughing, throwing the bread, and watching all the LIFE that came to me as I was saying goodbye! I was nourishing living animals and giving Carl back to nature. Saying goodbye to one feeble dead being brought huge, happy, appreciative life to me, and even if it was for a short time (until the bread was gone), it was so symbolic of being a magnet for much more life ahead, by letting go of one little life that was keeping me back.

PS Some of the birds lingered with us, sitting and resting on the sand with full tummies!

Did YOU hold a ritual for your twin? Let us know what it was like, it is always a wonderful and uplifting story.

Making memorials for your womb twins

2010-08-08T07:44:00.003+01:00

I was wondering yesterday - let's make an IN MEMORIAM page on the main Womb Twin web site for womb twins from all around the world. It would make an amazing public statement to see dozens - probably hundreds - of memorial plaques up there on the net!

I thought of a scheme where a womb twin survivor, for a small fixed sum donation, could choose to send a special image to Wombtwin.com HQ (or select from a set of images already provided) with their name, their twin's name and a few words (no more than 6 words in fact) and we at HQ could create a little plaque that could go on the page and be there for the world to see, for as long as that person wishes.

Here is a rough example of what the page could look like (click the link here to see a experimental sample page) - if you click each little memorial image then you will see an enlarged version in a small window.

IN MEMORIAM

What does everyone think of this idea? Is that the way to do it? Ideas please.

What could we do about triplets?

Feedback, ideas and comments please!

Is this relevant for you, too?

2010-08-02T22:38:00.000+01:00

After watching Shadowlands on You Tube this evening, this video "appeared" - & certainly was the right thing to be in front of my eyes! Maybe it will be of help to you, too. Please be aware that it's ok if you're not ready to forgive &/or find it hard to forgive. It doesn't matter whether its yourself, others or both - just accept where you're at & ask for help in forgiving - note the line in the video about it "flowing through". Hope you find it of value.

Andrew

Womb Twin Survivors Conference: all welcome!

2010-07-25T08:58:00.000+01:00

I am told that the advance publicity doesn't make it clear that absolutely anyone, womb twin survivor or not, is welcome at our conference.

( Sorry! rather distracted by writing the book about womb twin survivors.)

Annual conference October 1st-3rd 2010

"Womb Twin Survivors"

Venue: All Saints Pastoral Centre London Colney, Herts England. [web site]  

This will be the third international OPEN SPACE conference to be held on this subject. It will be a rare opportunity for everyone to learn more about a common occurrence in pregnancy that has been largely ignored - until very recently. It will be a chance for womb twin survivors, plus the people who live with them, work with them, try to help them or just want to learn more about them, can get together and discuss these issues. Only 40 places are available, so early booking is recommended.

We need to know exact numbers for forward planning, so please register your intention to come as soon as you can : we can arrange payment later. (Payment by credit card or PayPal)

Our conference is YOUR conference! Register here

("Open space" means we can talk about anything we want, in 12 different spaces on the Saturday and Sunday, and you can come along and make a presentation yourself if you like if there is something special you need to talk about or discuss. I know that hoarding/clutter is one thing and food is another - what would YOU like to come and talk about? )

Comments please!

Progress in Ireland....

2010-07-23T17:19:00.001+01:00

Last week a poster advertising a lecture on Bi-polar caught my eye. This was a chance to meet someone who was regularly treating womb twin survivors & was not aware of it. This someone was pshychiatrist Dr. Patrick McKeown of St. Patrick's Hospital, Dublin. Dr McKeown is also a director of Aware, an Irish Mental Health Charity.

When I arrived at the Swift Hall I met another of Aware's Director who told me that it would not be possible to see the Doc because he was so busy. I gave her a copy of "Untwinned" with my contact details & implored her to get him to read it explaining that one in ten of the audience couple probably be treated without medication. It was strange sitting with 150 people who probably depend on Lithium, Epilim or some other chemical concoction to keep them "balanced" when there was knowledge available that could set many of them free.

The lecture covered symptoms, treatments regimes, types of "BP" (bi-polar) & something called "co-morbidity" - essential two simultaneously occcuring symptoms. eg. Suicidal tendencies & manic behaviour. Dr McKeown said "Where these co-morbid conditions get in we don't really know ...." Well, we've a good idea, haven't we?

Anyway, I did succeed in meeting Dr. K who was aware of the impact of losing a born twin, but not the womb twin survivor phenomenom. He is going to read the book so let's hope that results in more people being put our way & fewer to the pharmacy!

Hello From British Columbia,Canada

2010-07-19T10:35:00.005+01:00

Blog post for July 20th 2010,

Sometimes life is such a funny thing. Not funny Ha ,ha, but funny, insert the theme song to the Twilight Zone, T.V. Programme. That old familiar high pitched 'nee ne, nee ne, nee ne, nee ne' my favorite television program of my childhood. Memories of a simpler time when the world was not yet plugged into cell phones, iPods, PC's, DVD's, CD's& MP3's. Over scheduled, over stimulated, and over loaded. When communicating actually meant having a conversation with out using abbreviations. AND with an actual person, either in person (wow, what a concept!) or at least on the other end of a telephone line. A time when kids actually respected their Elders, granted, maybe out of fear than out of respect. But respected none the less. Where the English language was actually a thoughtful and thought out experience. Not littered with slang and curse words. When going down to the corner store with 2 bits could buy you more junk food loaded with penny candies, than you could actually eat in one sitting. I miss those almost forgotten by-gone days of my childhood.

The other day I got a call from my niece, whom I miss dearly. Unfortunately she lives approx. 365 km from me ( or 3 1/2 hours through the Rocky Mountains ). Remarkably, she is a part time co-parent of four boys all aged 5 and under. Yes, she is a super-Mom in my eyes. Something she claims she learned of me. In this conversation she explained that she just needed some Auntie time, as it has been a while since we have had any quality time together. We have always been very close through the years. We have ALWAYS been there for each other through thick and thin. I was remiss at forgetting the intimacy of the familial bond. Years and years of shared memories, experiences, morel support and history. It's a rare luxury for us to enjoy over an hour long, uninterrupted conversation. ( Finding out that the boys were actually down for a nap.)

Ahhh, lovely nap time!

During the course of the conversation she brought me up to speed on the goings on in her busy life. She shared with me her recent ups and downs and challenges. She shared with me funny stories that can only come from raising 4 boys, which made me laugh till I cried.

One story in particular amazed me. My niece told me that for the past month or so, her son has been playing with an 'imaginary friend'. I told her that this is totally normal and that she had a friend when she was little too. (so did her brothers) My niece told me how one day she was in the kitchen when she over heard my nephew. He was splitting a gut, belly laughing his head off. Curiosity got the better of her so she had to go investigate. He was all alone in him room entertaining himself , playing cars. She asked him why was he laughing,? He said he was just playing with his friend. Later that day she asked her ex if he had noticed the boy playing with an imaginary friend. Well, not only had the boy been playing with his friend, but that they in fact play all the time and have great fun. My nieces' ex also revealed that the boy talks to him all the time about his imaginary friend. But refuses to talk to her about him!

My nephew revealed to his Dad that his friends' name is MICHAEL. My niece asked me if I knew anyone named Michael close to the family who had passed away. Shocked, I told her that my twins name was Michael! That her little son , who could never have known his Great Uncle THIS side of life, has unknowingly been playing with him for the past month or so! I was absolutely convinced, while my niece was struck silent. I was certain that my nephew was being entertained by my dear long dead twin brother.

All at once I was jealous that he was spending time with my nephew and not me! But in the very same instant I was happier than happy that Michael was still in some way claiming our family. Interacting with the youngest members as an imaginary friend. In spite of his absence in my life, he is a great playmate to my great nephew. Then as my nephew woke from his nap, refreshed,ready for lunch, and more play. My niece told him Auntie Leslie was on the phone, through the phone line I could hear his little voice. I told him to say hi to his friend for me, my twin brother, Michael. At that he mischievously giggled , a knowing giggle and hollered "No Way"! Giving me all the validation I needed. Confirmed

Yeah, life IS sometimes quite funny....

When we go and leave this world we don't really leave.

Live In Peace and Peace Will Live in You!

WombTwin.com Ltd

2010-07-18T11:14:00.000+01:00

July 17th was the third birthday of WombTwin.com Ltd, the non-profit organisation with members which has initiated special support for womb twin survivors around the world.

A document telling the whole extraordinary story of the development of WombTwin.com can be downloaded here.

http://sylviadickeysmithbooks.wordpress.com/2010/07/15/critique-groups-can-be-scary/

2010-07-15T18:03:00.000+01:00

http://sylviadickeysmithbooks.wordpress.com/2010/07/15/critique-groups-can-be-scary/

HOW MANY PEOPLE AM I? MY PROBLEM WITH SIMPLE NUMBERS

2010-07-12T16:33:00.000+01:00

In my life as a single person, with no concept of my wombtwin(s), I always wondered why I had SO MANY interests, skills, and a desire to NOT settle on one thing, because it would deprive me of doing all the other things that interested me. Focusing on one thing was very disappointing. As a child and passionate musician from the very beginning, I wanted to play ALL the instruments in the orchestra. I settled on being a pretty good violinist, but also studied the piano and flute, with accompanying sadness that I couldn’t master them too. As a college student, I did not want to choose a major, because that meant I would have to give up studying other things in depth. Being interested, and very good at, math, and also interested in French and music, I ended up as a psychology major. Although I am a pretty good speaker of the French language, I studied one year of German and Spanish, and feel sorry that I can’t speak them with more proficiency, not to mention ALL the languages in the western world.

It turns out that, as I discovered that I am a wombtwin with a brother I lost, and maybe someone else too, I learned that I have a severe problem with simple numbers. I know that “a couple” means two. Those “twos” who have tortured me by pointing out my singleness, those wedding rings that have reminded me that I am only one, and any sentences containing the word “we” or “my husband/wife/partner and I” led me into the blackest hole that was maybe responsible for discovering I am a wombtwin. The exact number “2” or any implication that someone was part of a twosome, caused me to bury myself in my house and my bed, because you can’t go into the world without encountering the above. Back to the subject: My brilliant and compassionate guide in the wombtwin journey and I discovered that I have mistaken the phrase “a couple of…” to be some undefined number, what others call “a few of,” a number of maybe 2, 3, or 4, but definitely not exactly 2. So is my “couple” my wombtwin and and I as one, my mother as the second? My 2 twins (triplets) as one and me as 2? My wombtwin and I as “one or so” and some other combination of people, such as my parents as another “one or so?” Exactly what does “a couple of” mean?

I have also learned that I do unusual and messy things when it comes to basic counting. I just bought 3 expensive tickets for my daughter and myself to a top notch award winning musical, thinking I’ll find someone for the third space (My wombtwin? My womb triplets sharing a seat because they’re so small?) I have one extra place at my kitchen table than I need, even with the expected guests that may come by, because you never know if an extra person may surprise me. While I have complained about the trauma of being in some kind of triangle all my life, which I had to manage because 3 is hard (ie. making sure my mother didn’t get jealous of my father’s relationship with me) I find myself in threes more than probability could possibly create (ie. my husband, me, and his mistress!). Listing them all would take up too much space.

In this wonderful and painful path of discovery, I find myself saying “I have done/do enough things for 3 people.” Which is true, and is causing me to explore the possibility of a third one. I am finally starting, actually forcing myself, to narrow down to 2 or 3 things, which is a great improvement from infinity. I am finding some rewards from aiming to do just “a couple of” things well. I am also trying to discover just exactly how many people I am.

Our annual conference is NOT just for young people!

2010-07-08T16:44:00.000+01:00

I had an email today from someone who thinks that the annual conference is just for young people and their families - a mistake!! The womb twin survivors in any family may be YOU!

Claudia will be speaking about her new workbook for young womb twin survivors, but the theme "A womb twin survivor in the family" is universal, for all ages. The Open Space Event may be on any topic, the people who turn up decide that. The healing workshops on the Sunday will be arranged by whoever is there.
Its a grand chance to be together, all staying in the same place, all eating together taking walks, having lots of chats etc. The prices are reasonable and include ALL food etc.

Make your booking now online here and we will arrange payment with you later.

Book now, don't miss out! It will be the best yet! Everyone is welcome!

Book online now

2010-07-01T14:56:00.002+01:00

Hallo iedereen,

Het heeft wat voeten in de aarde gehad, maar onze Belgische website wombtwin.be is geboren!

Ga zeker eens een kijkje nemen op www.wombtwin.be.

Op zaterdag 18 september 2010 organiseren wij ons eerste praatcafé!
Dit is volledig gratis. Iedereen die belangstelling heeft, is van harte welkom.

Wombtwincafé is een praatcafé voor en door wombtwin survivors. Het is een samenkomen van mensen, die zelf wombtwin survivor (voelen te) zijn of die op één of andere manier in contact komen met wombtwin survivors.

In een ontspannen sfeer kan je kennis maken met anderen, nuttige informatie opdoen en ervaringen uitwisselen. Elk praatcafé zal eerst een ander aspect van het wombtwin-survivor-zijn worden belicht. Nadien is er tijd om onderling van gedachten te wisselen en vragen te stellen, te 'praten' met mekaar.
Gewoon luisteren kan uiteraard net zo goed.

We hopen jullie daar te ontmoeten.

Voor meer info, surf naar www.wombtwin.be

Koen

Hi everyone,

It has taken some time, but the new belgian website wombtwin.be is born!

Go and have a look on www.wombtwin.be.

Our first event will be our talk cafe, held on saturday, september 18th 2010.
Participation is free. Everybody who is interested, is more than welcome.

Wombtwincafé is a talk cafe made by and for wombtwin survivors. It is a place where you can meet people, who (feel that they) are wombtwin survivors themselves or in some way are in contact with wombtwin survivors.

In our wombtwincafe you can meet other people, pick up useful information and share your experiences. Each time we meet, another topic of being a wombtwin survivor will be discussed. After that, there is time to share your thoughts and ask questions, to 'talk' with each other. If you only want to listen, that is fine as well.

Hope to meet you there.

For more info, go to www.wombtwin.be.

Koen

The body contact with the Other

2010-06-30T23:41:00.016+01:00

The womb is a non-verbal world; there are only emotions and body contact.

Besides being very symbiotic (twins feels intuitively what their siblings feels; they cannot avoid this perception) and spiritual, the twins intrauterine experience is very physical. The touch, the physical contact with his friend from the beginning of life is so familiar to him; it gives him safeness and comfort. At first both feel united as if they were One; they cannot understand the difference between each other... their bond is so close ...that intimacy is hard to describe.

Since its birth, and while growing, baby twins become aware of their body confines, they start to distinguish their body from the body of his brother or sister, and the two individuals become separated from each other. But even if life and distance separates them, the intensity of their bond of brotherly love remains, as well as its history of an initial connection of great intimacy. Here a woman describes the relationship with her sister in a beautiful testimony of such complicity. Another witness in the first person that speaks of longing for body contact including, is a girl who lost her twin as early as a teenager, see here.

And what about single born twins?
Also keeping alive the memory of the comfort in body contact with the Other, they have not had the chance to decode and integrate these feelings in childhood (see here a poignant example) they do not know where these impulses come from ...
The prenatal experience influences the present life to the level of social relationships, professional life and certainly also of sexual life. The deep loving relationship between twins has nothing sexual, however, in life outside the womb, the sexual relationship is one of the ways to recriate this level of closeness between two human beings. For survivors of a twin pregnancy the choice of his sexual partner may be imbued with the attempt to rescue this remote experience, that is, as distant as it is, still present - the unity with the Other. Homosexuality and bisexuality may appear as a possibility to express the inner body wisdom and reenact the body closeness with his same sex twin, or his triplets of both sexes.

This is the hypothesis: can the traumatic loss of a twin embryo, in the first weeks of pregnancy, influence the survivor's sexual choices and orientation, leading him to make a bond with the person that can satisfy his need to recreate the kind of intimacy that his body remembers from the time when he was just a small embryo?

Vanished twins and other stories: the APPAH conference 2010

2010-06-28T20:40:00.000+01:00

There will be a full list of speakers at the APPAH conference ( see web site) including Brent Babcock and me!

The 4-day event will be held at the gorgeous Asilomar Conference Grounds on November 11-14, 2010. Asilomar is northern California’s "Refuge by the Sea" making it an ideal location for attendees, as they come together to be in community with one another. The theme of the conference this year is, Embracing the Science of Prenatal and Birth Psychology: What We Know and How We Know It. That is, the congress is emphasizing the importance of research in our leading edge field.

Coming?

Althea

Part of the Richness of this blog

2010-06-22T22:20:00.000+01:00

comes from the variety of countries represented here & also the types of post. Looking back we'll see posts of a more personal nature where womb twin survivors share parts of their own experience. This post is going to be more about Womb Twin Ireland & what's happening with us. It is, of course, made up of & for people who all have their own womb twin story.

The time has come, just like it has for the French Football team, to it have some fresh blood, ideas & inspiration. The postings on the Irish blog have been from the same person for so long that just people reading it may wish for a different style, tone or feel to the posts. So there's a great opportunity for someone with a good understanding of Ireland & their people & who's lost a womb twin to look outside their own pain; loneliness & confusion & despite the blackness they may experience to make a difference to other womb twins in Ireland.

No experience is needed, just a willingess to post regularly on the Womb Twin Ireland blog (weekly at least) and/or to liaise with womb twin survivors in Ireland and Althea. And yes, that person will receive support from us to get you going if you want it. So let us know if you're interested.

To give you an idea of Womb Twins in Ireland that we know of, there are around 20 around Mullingar, some on the West & obviously a good few around Dublin - (not to mention the 10's of thousands that are "in hiding.") There's even been talk about Womb Twin Ireland hosting a future conference.... so why not get involved?

Womb Twin Survivors Canada

2010-06-17T07:27:00.000+01:00

I am so pleased to join Womb Twin Survivors from around the world. A little bit on my story.I was born, 6 weeks premature in 1966. Growing up, I was told I was smaller than a pound of butter. However, the fact that I had a twin that died 5 months ingestation was kept from me . It was a huge family secret hushed when I walked in the room. For my whole childhood, I knew different. I knew I was different, there was something that set me apart from everyone else. I knew that someone was missing. I always felt incomplete, and that is one thing that has not changed in my life. I still feel incomplete. The only difference now, is that I understand why I feel that way. I was the other half of the whole that survived. I LIVED, MICHAEL DIDN'T! I would change places with Michael if I could. Don't get me wrong, I have a blessed life . I want to live, I have faced alot of adversity to get where I am now. I am a 23 yr. cancer survivor of stage 3b metastatic Hodgekin's Disease. I did die during the cancer battle and came back! The Doctors said I would not have kids due to all the treatment. I have not one but two beautiful daughters. In spite of all the odds, I'm still here to tell the tale. I should be on top of the world...
But, I feel sometimes, I don't deserve it. Even knowing all I have been through in this life, I still , deep down feel I should not be here.
I feel guilty for being the one who lived. This world somehow isn't right because my brother, Michael did not live. The other half of my whole isn't here, with me. Where he is supposed to be.
So I guess, I must do all I can, to make it through the dark days. To some how make my life count, plus two. Somehow to honour my brother and have him live on through all I do. It's a tall order, but with a little help, I'm up for the task. Until then, it's one foot in front of the other...that's how we get where we're going. One day at a time...Live in peace and peace will live in you...

Switched BEFORE Birth

2010-06-16T17:16:00.003+01:00

Being a womb twin survivor, I had grown accustomed to the term “slipping into a black hole” and to the idea of switching alpha/beta roles with one’s vanished twin – these concepts and behaviors were just as ordinary to me as blinking.

Then….something quite startling happened, to shake this up and make me realize its true meaning beyond my previous level of comprehension. I would like to share it, in case it is helpful to others to know about this subtle distinction which turned out to be hugely powerful in understanding my story.

It was during an NET session (neuro emotional technique), I was re-experiencing my gestational reality from conception to birth. Like other womb twins, I was finding this modality to be a helpful tool for accessing and releasing womb memories & emotions, but I wasn’t prepared for what I experienced during the 5th month in utero.

(note: my twin & I were born premature at 6 months, she died the next day)

My twin & I made a pact – she would go and I would stay. She would wait long enough for me to be healthy enough to survive, which turned out to be one more month - at which point she asphyxiated on her cord and went into distress causing our birth and then I never saw her again. We did say goodbye, which was incredibly comforting to know. But there in the 5th month when we were making our little agreement, I actually felt myself switch roles with her!
I BECAME HER SO THAT I WOULDN’T HAVE TO LOSE SOMEBODY!!!
In this NET session, I fully recalled myself switching places (as twins do) with my twin in the womb – as if I got up, went over to her side, stepped into her body, zipped up my Jennifer suit and became her, the beta, at that point.

My journal entry after the session reads:
5 months in utero = paralyzed will, blocked. Breakthrough: I thought I suffered from low or no self esteem but I realized that I have plenty of self esteem. I thought I didn’t because I switched roles with her out of survivor guilt! I knew she wouldn’t stay so I became her so as not to lose her. I went Beta!

It was amazing to re-witness myself doing this because it speaks to two things:

1) the power of survivor guilt is so strong, that even a defenseless unborn baby knows how to defend itself from it.

2) slipping into the beta space isn’t just a temporary thing for me like I thought, it is every thing to me. I’ve been there my whole life, living her weakened beta state so that I wouldn’t have to feel survival or guilt. I bypassed it from day zero!

So if I have lived a black hole beta life all this time, my momentary lapses downward must have been a “blacker hole” – no wonder it felt so horrendous!

Further, this realization brought a deeper understanding about my clutter. I realized that in becoming her in the womb – there still remained a body next to me (my real body which was one pound bigger than her body) to take the place of the emptiness which would eventually represent my lost twin (surprising that I could anticipate that and recall all this from my body memory at 5 months gestation, not from my current mind. I could feel the difference!) Because I was already traumatized by her impending death, even though we agreed to it and she was still there alive, the dynamic had already been activated – I would be the little helpless beta surrounded by the placebo-like comfort of a bigger twin who wouldn’t disappear. This was my comfort zone and this is still being played out today in the form of clutter.

For example: A few weeks ago, my son left our home for an extended stay with his Dad. Ever since he left, these womb dynamics have played out exactly - I barely exist/function there (beta), don’t cook for myself (if I’m her, I have to be one pound lighter), fill up the empty space with clutter so there are signs of life, shrink down intimidated by the clutter that becomes bigger than me. It always seems so huge in my mind but when I finally get down to tackling it, it only takes 10 minutes to clean up. I build this ‘bigger than me’ thing in my head, and now I know why.

This also explains why it's hard for me to delegate, I have to do everything for everybody because that's what I did for my twin - I became her and did everything "as" her because she couldn't do it herself from that body. No wonder upper management is so difficult for me and I've sabotaged career success to stay the small underling who perfers to be mighty behind the scenes!

I am currently learning just how much of my life I have lived through my twin’s beta lens, while I learn to own MY self esteem and build on it so that I can fully step into my power. Who knew I was operating from my twin’s lack of self esteem all this time and how reassuring that I have my own. Now I have to learn how to use it and stay in it.

Alphaville here I come!

What is Defeat?

2010-06-14T18:20:00.000+01:00

What is defeat and when do we experience it? Defeat is not merely making a mistake. Defeat occurs when, in the midst of a difficult task, we give up on ourselves.

The contrary of that is success. We succeed when we win with the battle of ourselves.

When we persist in the pursuit of our dreams, no matter the obstacles, we are winners in life, for we have won over our weakness.

The other day, a young man came to visit, to ask help in accomplishing his goal. He has a novel in first draft and looked for guidance. He said, "I'm afraid to keep going with this, trying to get published, because I fear I will fail."

My reply to him was, "You won't fail, because you won't let yourself. You pick yourself up and keep working at it until you accomplish your goal. That's the only way you will ever be successful." Before he left, I connected him with a critique group and off he went. He will be successful, because he won't let hurdles stop him.

How about you? How do you handle rejection or the fear of defeat? What works for you that helps you accomplish you goals?

Hoarding survey in USA - is it in the genes?

2010-06-14T08:27:00.000+01:00

Are you a Hoarder? Lots of womb twin survivors are-

Help out with research here:

http://newyork.craigslist.org/wch/etc/1779433051.html

Please note that this is an opportunity to participate in research for compensation and not a job posting.
We are looking for people to participate in a research study sponsored by the NATIONAL INSTITUTE OF MENTAL HEALTH.

The study will create a DNA collection from over 2,000 people to permit scientists to search for hoarding-related genes. Identifying genes that contribute to hoarding may lead to the development of better treatments for hoarding.

YOU ARE ELIGIBLE FOR PARTICIPATION IF:
• You are between the ages of 18 and 60.
• You have been told by a doctor or other health professional that you have hoarding behaviors.
• You have two close biological relatives (parents or siblings) who might also be interested in helping with the study

IF YOU VOLUNTEER AND ARE ELIGIBLE:
• You will be interviewed about your personal and family mental health history. Interviews can be completed over the phone.
• You and your relatives will be asked to give a blood sample for DNA. This can be done in your home.
• Confidentiality is protected for you and your relatives.
• Compensation is $75 for a 2-3 hour interview and a blood draw

The grief of a parent of a "vanishing twin"

2010-06-11T09:08:00.000+01:00

See the twin - twin relationship depicted in dance; witness the grief of a parent whose son is a vanishing twin survivor; watch this dry- eyed, if you can!

I wonder if they will win?

New initiative in the UK

2010-06-05T07:51:00.000+01:00

We want to build a strong UK womb twin community of members, associates and others, and so we are going to hold some events, workshops, gatherings etc. We also now have a special UK news bulletin so you can be kept up to date with what is going on.

To see the latest ( Eg. a lunch with Althea in London Sat July 24th - coming?) and sign up for the bulletin, visit this page on the WombTwin website.

International Children's Day

2010-06-01T10:37:00.012+01:00

Today is a special day for the portuguese children, so here goes a special hello to all the womb twin children in the world. Let's help them by spreading the word about how womb twins feel, especially among parents and teachers!

Olá meninos gémeos singulares de todo o mundo. Hoje é o dia Mundial da Criança e quero dar um miminho àqueles meninos que vivem com uma determinada tristeza no seu coração, que não conseguem identificar.
Sabendo como sentem os gémeos que sobrevivem à perda do seu irmão ou irmã no ventre materno, nós podemos ajudar esses meninos.
Vamos informar principalmente os pais e os professores de que existe esta possibilidade, para que eles próprios possam compreender o porquê das crianças sentirem aquilo que sentem.
É a partir desse conhecimento que a vivência da perda do irmão gémeo desaparecido pode ser integrada. Durante esse processo, que é um processo de luto e pode levar bastante tempo, os pais e cuidadores podem ajudar dando simplesmente um apoio presente e amoroso, disposto a ouvir e acolher tudo o que a criança tiver necessidade de dizer ou exprimir.
Estas crianças tiveram realmente uma vivência pré-natal especial: elas nasceram com uma experiência de perda do mais íntimo, mais próximo e mais entrelaçado (física-, emocional-, psicológica- e espiritualmente) de todos os relacionamentos humanos - o relacionamento gemelar.

An initiative in Australia

2010-05-19T08:09:00.001+01:00

I was delighted to find that there is a twin-less twins forum based in Perth Australia. Anyone in Australia want to be a poster here on our world blog?

http://www.perthtwinless.org/

I found a blog about womb twin survivors there.

Althea

BREAKTHROUGH!!

2010-05-18T21:43:00.000+01:00

It's such good news & something that needs to be shouted about, semaphored & signalled & shared all around. We've another healed person here in Ireland. Yes, we know someone else who has completed their journey from the "Doom of the Womb" to "Light & Delight." It's really important that this is made known because some people who've lost womb mates don't believe that healing is possible. It absolutely is.

If you choose not to heal that's perfectly ok; it's your right. And it's so important that you know that you can heal if you wish to. Let's have a quick look at reasons for allowing yourself to heal:
1. You will have more energy to direct outward into the world for your good & the good of those around you.
2. It makes the death of your womb twin/s less tragic because now you're fully able to make the most of your life. (They were unable to have a life - when healed you can live fully - in a way making up for their loss.)
3. You can be an inspiration to other people who've lost womb twins - who are they going to relate to better: a therapist who's speaking from a theoretical view point or to you who knows what it's like to grieve for the closest beings you could ever know?
4. This Ghandi quote relates to the last point: "Be the change you want to see in the world." When you allow yourself to heal, you allow the world to heal.

Why not look at what this newly-healed one has to say?

Womb Twin Gathering in New York

2010-05-13T13:20:00.000+01:00

I live in Texas, a long way away from New York, and am in the midst of getting my latest novel--a historical fiction about a womb twin survivor--ready for launch late this summer, (details to come later) so I am sad that I can't attend the U.S. Womb Twin Gathering, but I will be sending positive thoughts their way.

The U.S. blog describes the gathering:

Did you, or someone you know, lose a twin or multiple in the womb or at birth?
Are you a social worker or therapist who would benefit from finding out more about this soon-to-be classified condition?
Do you have vague feelings & behaviors related to incompleteness/self-sabotage for which there is no other explanation?

Then don't miss this unique opportunity to register for the upcoming Womb Twin Gathering in NYC on May 22 at 12pm. It will be an informal opportunity to find out more about the affects of reliving the dream of the womb, to interact with others on this healing journey and gain tools & resources for healing.

Agenda as follows:

12:00-12:45pm - All: Share our womb story
12:45-2:00pm - All: Updates on each of our healing journeys
2:00-2:15pm - (Break)
2:15-2:45pm - Monica + Barbara R: Experience with NET (Neuro Emotional Technique)
2:45-3:15pm - Barbara M: Open Space UK 2009 conference wrap-up
3:15-4:00pm - All: Discussion on clutter/hoarding, kicked off by Barbara M’s Open Space clutter journey
4:00-4:30pm - All: Book reviews/Resources/Open Space 2010/misc
4:30-4:45pm - (Break)
4:45-5:45pm - Free time for everyone to share and bring up issues of special interest
5:45-6:00pm - Closing ritual in remembrance of our womb mates

Location near Grand Central Station to be announced.

Come discover that you don't have to suffer alone! Learn to reclaim your life without survivor guilt!

To register please reply to this post or contact Monica at 347 683 4063.

The First One.....

2010-05-06T00:25:00.000+01:00

Dublin support group, that is, was a success as you can see.

Whether you're living in Ireland or visiting on the 2nd of June, you're very welcome to come to our next one - keep checking back here for details.......

Hoarding, Clutter, Holding: Take the Survey

2010-05-03T21:23:00.000+01:00

We need to get down to a real understanding of how "hoarding/clutter/holding on to things" is related to being a womb twin survivor (if at all!) So I have made an online survey. (There was a rather pathetic Wuffoo survey a while ago but that was not very helpful. This one is a bit more wide- ranging and may point to something useful.)

http://www.altheahayton.com/wombtwin/hoarding.html

Or the direct link is here http://www.esurveyspro.com/Survey.aspx?id=27f8f17e-a5ba-4497-b167-1d87063f0b36

The Latest from Ireland......

2010-04-30T20:05:00.002+01:00

So you know that Althea came over & ran a great seminar for us in Dublin on Saturday 24th. Encouraged by that & her motivation at the end of the event we've now got our support group going; our first meeting being Wednesday 5th May at 20.00. If you're going to be in Dublin & are a womb twin survivor (or think you are) you're most welcome to come along. This is where you can get the details. So, while it's early days for us we're happy with the progress we're making & will be doing an art-based session in the near future thanks to Paula.

If you'd like any encouragement in setting up Womb Twin or a support group in your own country, do get in touch with me & I'll be happy to help. For setting up Womb Twin in your country also look at the guidelines at the bottom of the page that this link takes you to. (The first thing I'd say is "Do it!") Send an email to me.

Stay well on your journey,

Andrew

Towards an international Womb Twin membership organisation?

2010-04-27T10:23:00.000+01:00

In Dublin last weekend (great weekend, check their blog) it became clear to me that in a few years' time. rather than having discreet groups around the world, we ought to have a single international organisation, WombTwin Worldwide.

Anyone out there want to help make this happen?

That kind of thing is a bit beyond me, but some people are really good at building worldwide organisations. Contact me for more.

Time to tell the world about womb twin survivors

2010-04-21T11:24:00.000+01:00

It was great to be on RTE radio in Ireland yesterday. The scepticism took the form of, "Isn't that feeling you mention just a normal feeling and everyone has it?" Which was very mild in comparison to being "Weirdo of the week" or "A fraudulent quack" or "Dangerous". At last, an intelligent debate, with no abuse being thrown. A delightful experience, in fact!

The workshop in Dublin for 24th April (get details here) promises to be a very interesting experience. As a result of six months of work so far on my new book, Womb Twin Survivors, there is better information and MUCH better illustrations on my presentation than ever before. I will be there, so answer questions and lead workshops. If you can come, do come! It will be a while before I am Ireland again. Register here now, pay later!

Althea (from England)

The Smaller Neighbour shows itself...

2010-04-20T21:18:00.000+01:00

Hi,

It's Andrew from Womb Twin Ireland, here! We've just had an exciting event today - our first, shared with Althea, radio interview. This was on of the national radio stations. It was a recorded interview & tomorrow we''ll find out if it's going to be broadcast. If it is you'll be able to hear it here so check back regularly.

Personally, up until a year ago I didn't know about Womb Twin Survivors; turned out I had two womb twins, Hazel & Anthony. She was fraternal, he identical. The year's been an intense one of sadness, anger, rage, remorse & now, with much gratitude to Althea, the light has arrived & I'm living life, taking action & helping other people.

Anyway, this email is just to say "Hi" & that I'm glad we at Womb Twin Ireland are part of the "Womb Twin" world. If you want to know more about us, click here

See you soon............ :-)

England: where it all started

2010-04-15T07:02:00.003+01:00

In 2002, during some chiropractic treatment I worked out that my physical and psychological problems were as a result of being a womb twin survivor. I managed to heal the problems I had to the extent that my life changed completely. I wondered if there were any other womb twin survivors out there, so as a writer, counsellor and published author with plenty of energy and time, I set out to learn more. In 2007 I got a grant to create a membership organisation and hold a conference from Unltd in London. (They give grants to social entrepreneurs in the UK)

I built a website for this work - wombtwin.com. I had created a new word - " wombtwin" - so I was able to see the idea spreading across the internet.
I then gathered some reports, published work and stories together to create an anthology of chapters written by people from all over the world and called "Untwinned." Soon I had a small collection of useful books for womb twin survivors and people who wanted to learn more about them.

We now have a membership organisation, called Wombtwin.com Ltd. and anyone who wants to can become a member.

(NOTE: if you live in the UK or Europe you can become a full member, other wise for the moment you can become an associate - which is free of charge, so why not join today?)

The research continues, and I am still writing - at the moment it's a comprehensive review of my eight years of research called Womb Twin Survivors, but there will be others, in time....follow my progress on my Wombtwin Survivors blog.

I am delighted to be a contributor to this blog and I look forward to reading posts from womb twin survivors all around the world - how exciting!

With all good wishes

Althea

Welcome!

2010-04-12T09:57:00.000+01:00

Dear Friends,

This is a new venture, to reach out to womb twin survivors around the world in as many languages as we can, with dozens of different authors. If you would like to join us and write a post for us about once a month, about any aspect of being a womb twin survivor, then please email us today.
For today, as we wait for the posts to come in, please click the links to the various blogs and see what is going on around the world.