May 15, 2020

Womb Twin Survivors are Strong Thrivers during COVID-19 Pandemic (per Twindividual Chat)

Womb Twin Survivors have lived their entire lives in pandemic-like themes due to their pre/peri-natal life-and-death imprints: sudden disruption, despair, grief, isolation, incessant loneliness, uncontrollable chaos, impending doom, life/death coping for survival, feeling responsible for others while needing to be ‘Self’ish, lack of support for grieving important yet unknown losses.

Womb Twins live their lives still connected to their primary bonds from the womb, causing contradictions which are becoming evident in the pandemic for all: here/not here, healthy/terminal, close/distant, comfort together/suffering alone, everything/nothing, threat/safety, alive/dead...loved ones dying alone, unwitnessed just like our womb twins. Womb Twin Survivors are the lone witnesses who never forgot and suffer the affects of traumatic loss daily. They were originally conceived as twins/multiples but got born as singletons ... they don't feel lucky, they start their day crying unconsolable tears of deep inner tragedy nobody knows about...and now this. This seems familiar...we know how to do this.

Pandemic society must be concerned with the dangers of proximity which is so very Womb Twin, “alone together” is helping WTS to feel connected in ways that weren’t possible before. We can rise up and share our gifts of coping and survival with others, recognizing our strengths as well as our weaknesses, bridging gaps between the born and unborn worlds of relational dynamics.

On the other end of the spectrum, familiar themes are potential ‘triggers’ for activating old memories in our imprint which can dysregulate us, send us out of our window of tolerance and into Hyper or Hypo Arousal. Womb Twins live in Flight-or-Flight mode until they heal, always scanning for danger because they’ve witnessed, in fact marinated in, life-threatening, inescapable events before birth with their closest bond(s) so the way this sits in the mindbody is similar - in fact, the pandemic feels ‘normalizing’ to many WTS who walk around with an inner story nobody knows about.  Now, we ALL have an ‘invisible enemy.’ Finally, the outer world is matching the inner world...there is recognition and there are resources…this is a whole new reality - that is the shocking part for Womb Twins in this, not the familiar trauma of death and chaos.

Many WTS feel responsible for the death of their twin causing intense survivor guilt. During the pandemic, shopping can be a challenge because they don’t know what an acceptable level of hoarding is against their original wiring to be a twin - they tend to go to either end of the spectrum: I must buy more than two+ of everything so we have enough or I feel too guilty getting all the food while others die so I will go without. Another intense theme is boundaries and invasion-control, especially for twins who absorbed their twin, boundaries are difficult but we need them strong for protection now. Everyone does. So even on a cellular level, this levels the playing field for Womb Twins who have always felt different than everyone else.

Now we are in this together, the Womb Twin healing is all around despite the adversities: We see the Covid-quarantined Womb Twin Survivor Father isolated from family learning new ways of valuing his survival skill to stay alive in confusion and loneliness. We see the Womb Twin Survivor Pandemic Nurse learning to practice self-care rather than get depleted due to compensation of her womb story - ‘saving her twin’ at the expense of herself and getting burned-out on long shifts would be an easy way to compensate for survivor guilt and regress to the comfort of the womb out of exhaustion, only to find the same life/death themes in the inner split of twin duality - so ensuring nourishment, rest and repair is critical to maintaining a strong, singular Self on the front lines called Life.  Everyone is watching now and not being alone with it helps Womb Twins tremendously.

Spectrum of Womb Twin Survivor PTSD Issues which align with the Covid-19 pandemic:


Some Valid Womb Twin Questions:
-What is a “normal” amount of hoarding:
   am I hoarding for one, two or more? or none?
-What is an “appropriate” amount of self-sacrifice:
   am I giving for one, two or more? or none?
-How can sudden silence mean peace & protection, not death & despair?
-How do we manage reactions for Singletons in death panic vs Twins/Twinless/WombTwins? 

Challenge for All:
Staying Regulated and Empowered by being Proactive rather than Reactive, while navigating familiar themes involving real life/death, fight/flight now - together, not alone - knowing that this is a new reaction under similar themes but that it is separate and can have its own new path and outcome.

Opportunities Now: Womb Twins are maximizing this time to allow themselves to feel more entitled to surviving/thriving/sustainability, passing their survival wisdom on to others, empowered to feel more authentic with their gifts in the world.

The Womb Twin Survivor curve is likely flattening due to the suspension of IVF/ART procedures as well as parenting reconsiderations, this prevents untold suffering, as we manage effects already in existence. There are very positive developments going on in the WTS community despite the human tragedy we are all facing at this time. Overall, despite some triggers, Womb Twin Survivors worldwide are on the front lines surviving and thriving, as they have since before day one, ready to create the new day.

To learn more about Womb Twin Survivors and their pre-natal imprints, stay tuned for and wombTV launching soon...

                      Thanks for reading - stay healthy + safe out there!

August 13, 2016

Honoring the legacy of Althea Hayton

It's been two years since Womb Twin founder, Althea Hayton, passed from this realm in body - yet her spirit continues to infuse healing miracles all around the world because the work she developed is so effective. She dedicated the last seven years of her life to developing Womb Twin syndrome theories and healing path and we have since carried on the work with impressive results - it holds up for the older womb twin survivors as well as the new crop of IVF babies coming of age.
Today let us remember and give thanks to a great woman who dared to dream beyond the limits in order to carve out new territory for womb twin survivors to have a place to go for help and understanding, which the world is getting closer to embracing. She always said one day the world will get it and then it will be huge. We've gone from baby steps to toddler steps and continue to adapt the work to the needs of Womb Twins everywhere, no matter their age or womb story. We can help now, thanks to Althea.
Everyday she is very much alive in the Womb Twin realm and we couldn't be luckier to live in a time where she made this possible.

June 09, 2016

The Physical Challenges of Very Young Womb Twin Survivors

What physical challenges does a newborn Womb Twin Survivor face?
Because mind body & spirit are interconnected, separating out physical symptoms is difficult because they include deeply emotional/psychospiritual components. All symptoms are a direct result of the what happened in the womb for the survivor and each womb story is unique, so how the symptoms manifest depends on the experience. Details such as when the twin was lost, how it was lost, gender, zygosity, etc. shape the outcome. There are trends seen among womb twin survivors such as:

-Newborns can be in shock not only from the trauma of losing their twin but having to navigate birth solo and thus separate from the mother, when separation already means death. They may be unable to sleep or unable to wake up, they may cry incessantly and be clingier than other babies.

-Sometimes symptoms arise from the NICU depending on the length of time & experience there. The baby, in shock, loses critical attachment bonding with mother due to the often lengthy stay - which is an important "twin replacement" bond that would ease the transition into born life alone but instead, being cared for by various nurses reinforces separation anxiety which can stress the baby and have all kinds of physical repercussions.

-They need to feel a physical barrier in their proprioception to remind them of the good time with their twin (when space was tighter), rather than feel the vulnerability of open space such as when their twin died leaving them alone in it, which they feel guilty about taking up by themselves. The baby will smash it's body into the corner of the crib or cling tightly to another object. (google "The Rescuing Hug" videoclip)

-The baby may appear despondent with inward eyes due to their intense inner nature and hypersensitivity. They may delay speech to hold on to the non-verbal relationship imprint of their twin.

-They may exhibit anomalies such as dermoid cyst, chimerism, 3rd nipple, extra digits or teeth or other unusual markings/features. Ambidexterity. Skin sensitivity/Hypersensitivity.

-All kinds of eating issues show up, from mild to severe, usually originating from feeling guilty about getting more food and surviving. WTS often want to stay small and not be bigger than anyone, not grow, so they can be like their twin or they will show up the size of two or three people, eating for them all. Alternating between the two (as in yoyo dieters) is wonderful way to express duality which is their twin nature. (Not all WTS have these issues, it depends on what happened in the womb).

-As toddlers they may follow/stay in close proximity to caregivers in order to bond and make sure their "twin replacement" doesn't disappear.

-They may exhibit twin confusion by treating a favorite pillow or blanket like a person and go into panic if the object is lost. (buy two of a favorite thing so you have a replacement to avoid this).

-They may have a different sense of boundaries and safety - both personally and interpersonally (usually lacking).

-They may express thoughts about death, dying, killing, etc. as a way to articulate the confusing, unspeakable death which they witnessed before birth.

What can you do to help a very young Womb Twin Survivor? Foster their brilliance while dialing down their triggers, this will help give them the energy to navigate the day and grow. Give them comfort and love. Pick and choose when to give in - they need alot of attention generally but proper boundaries shouldn't be compromised, they should be reinforced (WTS need to learn to navigate the world just like everyone else even though they are quite different). Disagreements, disapproval, separations of any kind are threatening to a WTS so be ready for an unusual amount of anger (too much or too little). Do your best not to judge, be consistent and authentic. Be patient when they flip flop from alpha to beta, they are often two people in one so it gets confusing! Awareness is key...and we can learn to bring out the best in our very special Womb Twin Survivors.