The body contact with the Other

The womb is a non-verbal world; there are only emotions and body contact.

Besides being very symbiotic (twins feels intuitively what their siblings feels; they cannot avoid this perception) and spiritual, the twins intrauterine experience is very physical. The touch, the physical contact with his friend from the beginning of life is so familiar to him; it gives him safeness and comfort. At first both feel united as if they were One; they cannot understand the difference between each other... their bond is so close ...that intimacy is hard to describe.

Since its birth, and while growing, baby twins become aware of their body confines, they start to distinguish their body from the body of his brother or sister, and the two individuals become separated from each other. But even if life and distance separates them, the intensity of their bond of brotherly love remains, as well as its history of an initial connection of great intimacy. Here a woman describes the relationship with her sister in a beautiful testimony of such complicity. Another witness in the first person that speaks of longing for body contact including, is a girl who lost her twin as early as a teenager, see here.

And what about single born twins?
Also keeping alive the memory of the comfort in body contact with the Other, they have not had the chance to decode and integrate these feelings in childhood (see here a poignant example) they do not know where these impulses come from ...
The prenatal experience influences the present life to the level of social relationships, professional life and certainly also of sexual life. The deep loving relationship between twins has nothing sexual, however, in life outside the womb, the sexual relationship is one of the ways to recriate this level of closeness between two human beings. For survivors of a twin pregnancy the choice of his sexual partner may be imbued with the attempt to rescue this remote experience, that is, as distant as it is, still present - the unity with the Other. Homosexuality and bisexuality may appear as a possibility to express the inner body wisdom and reenact the body closeness with his same sex twin, or his triplets of both sexes.

This is the hypothesis: can the traumatic loss of a twin embryo, in the first weeks of pregnancy, influence the survivor's sexual choices and orientation, leading him to make a bond with the person that can satisfy his need to recreate the kind of intimacy that his body remembers from the time when he was just a small embryo?

Vanished twins and other stories: the APPAH conference 2010

There will be a full list of speakers at  the APPAH conference ( see web site) including Brent  Babcock and me!

The 4-day event will be held at the gorgeous Asilomar Conference Grounds on November 11-14, 2010. Asilomar is northern California’s "Refuge by the Sea" making it an ideal location for attendees, as they come together to be in community with one another. The theme of the conference this year is, Embracing the Science of Prenatal and Birth Psychology: What We Know and How We Know It. That is, the congress is emphasizing the importance of research in our leading edge field.

Coming?

Althea

Part of the Richness of this blog

comes from the variety of countries represented here & also the types of post.  Looking back we'll see posts of a more personal nature where womb twin survivors share parts of their own experience.  This post is going to be more about Womb Twin Ireland & what's happening with us.  It is, of course, made up of & for people who all have their own womb twin story.

The time has come, just like it has for the French Football team, to it have some fresh blood, ideas & inspiration.  The postings on the Irish blog have been from the same person for so long that just people reading it may wish for a different style, tone or feel to the posts.  So there's a great opportunity for someone with a good understanding of Ireland & their people & who's lost a womb twin to look outside their own pain; loneliness & confusion & despite the blackness they may experience to make a difference to other womb twins in Ireland.

No experience is needed, just a willingess to post regularly on the Womb Twin Ireland blog  (weekly at least) and/or to liaise with womb twin survivors in Ireland and Althea. And yes, that person will receive support from us to get you going if you want it. So let us know if you're interested.

To give you an idea of Womb Twins in Ireland that we know of,  there are around 20 around Mullingar, some on the West & obviously a good few around Dublin - (not to mention the 10's of thousands that are "in hiding.")  There's even been talk about Womb Twin Ireland hosting a future conference.... so why not get involved?

Womb Twin Survivors Canada

I am so pleased to join Womb Twin Survivors from around the world. A little bit on my story.I was born, 6 weeks premature in 1966. Growing up, I was told I was smaller than a pound of butter. However, the fact that I had a twin that died 5 months ingestation was kept from me . It was a huge family secret hushed when I walked in the room. For my whole childhood, I knew different. I knew I was different, there was something that set me apart from everyone else. I knew that someone was missing. I always felt incomplete, and that is one thing that has not changed in my life. I still feel incomplete. The only difference now, is that I understand why I feel that way. I was the other half of the whole that survived. I LIVED, MICHAEL DIDN'T! I would change places with Michael if I could. Don't get me wrong, I have a blessed life . I want to live, I have faced alot of adversity to get where I am now. I am a 23 yr. cancer survivor of stage 3b metastatic Hodgekin's Disease. I did die during the cancer battle and came back! The Doctors said I would not have kids due to all the treatment. I have not one but two beautiful daughters. In spite of all the odds, I'm still here to tell the tale. I should be on top of the world...
But, I feel sometimes, I don't deserve it. Even knowing all I have been through in this life, I still , deep down feel I should not be here.
I feel guilty for being the one who lived. This world somehow isn't right because my brother, Michael did not live. The other half of my whole isn't here, with me. Where he is supposed to be.
So I guess, I must do all I can, to make it through the dark days. To some how make my life count, plus two. Somehow to honour my brother and have him live on through all I do. It's a tall order, but with a little help, I'm up for the task. Until then, it's one foot in front of the other...that's how we get where we're going. One day at a time...Live in peace and peace will live in you...