December 06, 2015

Womb Twin Presence for the Holidays

Holiday time is upon can be a difficult time for those in grief, particularly Womb Twin Survivors who may feel sad or guilty celebrating without their twin or who feel different from their loved ones at times of "togetherness". It can be a busy time of comings and goings and symbolic representation, a reflective time and a depressing & disappointing time. So how can we get through another holiday successfully? What strategies might we use to get through the holidays, year to year and how does that change over time?

I spent many years in agony during this time because all in a row were big dates which were excruciatingly difficult yet I had to be "on" in a world that didn't understand:

Dec21- Womb Twin Day (reflection)
Dec22- My birthday (weird being celebrated without my born twin)
Dec23- My twin death date (she lived 24 hours)
Dec24&25- Christmas Eve & Christmas (rejoicing)
Dec31- New Years Eve & my son's birthday (renewal)

The balancing act between our inner and outer worlds, with all the triggers inherent in family gatherings, can be managed with a little care and foresight. The key is to not let your beta-sabotage take over your annual memory as a way to keep your twin alive. This is your holiday and you deserve to enjoy all the blessings of your life. You deserve to connect and share bonds of love with everyone dear to you, regardless of who is here or who is not. So here are some tips for staying in the alpha-present as you approach this tender time:

-Take control & don't get overwhelmed. Say no if it doesn't feel right and own your decision. Don't feel guilty about anything - it's up to you how you spend your time, who you spend it with, what you eat or drink, where you travel or stay, how active or restful you choose to be. So be sure to say yes to all you need to create for who you are now. It's all up to you, after all it's your holiday and these are your born memories to create.

-Don't have any expectations because you are bound to be disappointed - someone will say the wrong thing, you will get the wrong gift, or any other mechanism will come up to prove that nobody else can ever be your twin. Don't go down this road!

-Channel Emotions in Separate Buckets: use Womb Twin Day Dec 21 to have your twin reflection/ritual time, or do something to celebrate the upcoming holidays privately with your twin first so that the twin part of yourself is acknowledged. Then you can face the holidays without feeling like something is missing. It's ok to acknowledge the part of you that is a twin, if it helps you feel balanced going into the holidays as an individual. Delineate both identities in yourself and create appropriate holiday rituals for each.

-Prepare an out so you can easily get a break from the overstimulation - of lights, colors, shiny textures, laughter, gluttony. Remember to have some down time, this is your time to relax after a year full of hypersensitivity and navigating emotional landscapes just to feel "normal".

-Affirm "this is my memory to have and it's ok" - enjoy yourself!

-Give yourself a symbolic twin gift. Wrap it and open it. You can be the Self who gives a gift to their Twin AND you can be the Twin who receives a gift from their Twin as well as a Self who receives a gift from their Twin. Feel all the ways of being and allow them to resonate. (I thought I was a Self giving a gift to my Self all these years until I realized it was a twin ritual.)

-Be present, that's the best gift of all. Don't disappear or feel invisible just to feel close to your twin. Your twin is where your twin needs to be and you are where you need to be. Now be here!! You just have to give yourself permission...

Happy Holidays to all the special Womb Twins of the World! May your holidays be happy and free, allowing you to shine!

August 17, 2015

One Year since Althea Left her Legacy to Us

It's been one year since Womb Twin founder, Althea Hayton, passed from this realm on Aug 13 2014 leaving a rich legacy that is being realized more and more with each passing day. To honor her life and work, I have made it my personal mission to do what I can on her behalf to push forward her ideas, raise awareness, practice the healing techniques, document findings via the blogs and continue to adapt what Althea started to fast-changing times in order to ensure relevancy to the younger womb twins coming forward - for the womb twins Althea based her foundational work on were different than those coming forward now. Early days included work with older womb twin survivors who often had no proof but found tremendous healing with this discovery/modality after years of other attempts not quite solving it. Today we see younger womb twin survivors who always knew because they had proof of Vanishing Twin Syndrome or knew they were conceived as a twin/multiple through methods of IVF/ART. Future work will need to facilitate the changing needs of survivors of Multi Fetal Pregnancy Reduction. And I'm seeing new synergies among Living Twins whose pre-natal imprints cause issues and how this work can help them get to the source. I'm seeing more people who are both Living Twins and Womb Twin Survivors. The walls between camps are coming down as we realize that people can be all: a living twin can be a womb twin survivor triplet who becomes a twinless twin who then must come to terms with their individuality. Although the landscape has become ever-more complicated, the healing set forth by Althea Hayton holds up through it all. Her development of this syndrome and healing path have been the extraordinary solution for some already but, in my opinion, the real power of what it's meant to transform is yet to come. I'm proud to say the work is proving effective in every type of scenario.

To recap the year, here are some highlights of the work I have been doing:

- Leading healing sessions by skype from NYC across Europe and US (one brave soul did her first womb regression while traveling by ferry from Finland to Sweden - a wi fi-enabled amniotic reenactment!)

- Two effective healing cases both involving womb triplets with eating disorders/body dismorphia/depression/suicide, others in progress

- Launch of new website Twindividual (still in progress) to broaden the scope of womb twin survivor syndrome to accommodate the new complexity discussed above

- Blog Posts linked to pop-culture events like 'Caitlyn Jenner's transformation' or 'Evil Twin removed from Brain' were placed on social media to insert Womb Twin into the mass conversation causing spikes in visits to our sites

- Our Blog & Womb Twin clip was quoted by a preeminent German prenatal psychologist at a lecture to psychologists, gynecologists, mid-wives, teachers, social workers etc. to make a broader public familiar with the effects of prenatal traumas one of which of course is the loss of a twin in the womb

- Developed a new womb regression technique utilizing float pods (a sensory deprivation saltwater tank) which can be used for anyone - the masses can access their potential 1 in 8 wombtwinness, womb twins can float safely with guidance to access and resolve womb trauma, any kind of womb/birth memory can be worked with in this state of relaxed regression.

- Documentary: shooting a film which will showcase Womb Twin Survivor syndrome featuring a 15 yr old Vanishing Twin Survivor who bravely speaks her truth and exposes her coping journey. After 3 therapists and psychiatric hospitals failed, just 5 months of womb twin work gave her a new level of comfort in life eliminating unwanted behaviors such as eating disorders & self harm, releasing survivor guilt and allowing her to step into her Alpha power. Several other subjects have been shot and will also be featured as smaller youtube segments (coming later this year) including: a revealing conversation with a transsexual who admits she was probably a twin as she discovers the idea for the first time and we trace her history to put the clues together and a state-of-the-union chat with twin psychologist Dr. Barbara Klein, author of Alone In The Mirror among other books, in her Beverly Hills office.

- Future Podcast: developing a live podcast in conjunction with twin psychologist Dr. Barbara Klein because we believe living twins, twinless twins and womb twin survivors all have the same stuff and can all help each other. Because people can fit more than one of these categories, synergy is needed across the board.

- Womb Twin seeds were planted at the Twin Days Festival in Twinsburg, OH in August. Any volunteers for next year?

- Beginning efforts to lobby legislation to make Womb Twin Survivor Syndrome listed as a risk/side effect of ART/IVF methods

There are more things in the works to keep the healing legacy alive, for Althea lit a flame that will continually be an inferno of transformation for those who need it & find it and have the diligence to see the work through, in order to reclaim their rightful inheritance to a comfortable, happy life! Passing the work on continues the healing, so feel free to volunteer time or help with donations for research by contacting us...please help pass Althea's torch! There's so much to do...

July 13, 2015

Preemie 1 lb. baby fights for life but life without her twin will be her biggest struggle

This is a gut-wrenching story that happens more than most people realize...the journey to become healthy twins is often perilous and frought with many hurdles which keep presenting themselves as quickly as they can be overcome.
Portugal Babymoon Couple Stranded Twins Article

Despite the tremendous fight Hayden Grace is up against, living life without her twin will be worse than all of it. It may even cause her to give up the fight. Most womb twins feel they got the raw end of the deal and, if given the choice, want to be with their twin - even more than life itself.

On a more positive note, Womb Twin Survivors are super-charged with fight-or-flight adrenalin so their "survival" instinct is in full gear, and they have the power of two in them, so hopefully this is enough to overcome the psychospiritual shock which has become their birthright - not to mention the medical/biological challenges of extreme prematurity.

I too was born at six months - 3 months premature with a twin (I was 3 lbs, she was 2 lbs), spending two months in NICU without attachment bonding, way before they knew the value of touch and light therapy. It took two months for me to gain the 2 lbs needed to go home a 5 pounder and the psychological impact of this ordeal has taken years to heal. What could've been 60 days and nights of breastfed bonding to help ease my twinloss turned into 60 days of abandonment and isolation on top of my twin loss but thankfully the nurses on duty got me through.

The knowledge we have gleaned in the past half-century since my birth is a blessing which allows many more preemies to survive, we know so much more about what to do (i.e. the "rescuing hug")but our continued ignorance prevents prevention. Every day we learn more about the mistakes we make, and how to manage them, but as the world continues scratching its head about the reality of womb twin survivors, we miss chances at prevention. We need to raise awareness so that people can make informed choices about their procreative decisions. What can we do? Here are some ideas

- Talk to people in their 20's and 30's about starting families earlier - delayed conception is risky
- Lobby Government to include Womb Twin Survivor Syndrome as one of the risks factors in choosing IVF/ART and Multiple Fetal Pregnancy Reduction
- Speak out about how you, as a Womb Twin Survivor, are affected
- Volunteer at your local NICU to help cuddle preemies which are often Womb Twin Survivors, the recognition Womb Twin Survivors feel with each other can only help these little ones thrive.

Don't miss all the opportunities which exist every day for Womb Twins to raise awareness, we are walking billboards for the cause because we live with the effects everyday. Sheer persistence alone can strengthen the case that we are not making this up (which is what the world conveniently wants us to believe).

May 10, 2015

What is the correlation between Personality Disorders and Womb Twin Survivor Syndrome?

This question often comes up due to the common occurrence of misdiagnosis that happens for Womb Twin Survivors who are wrongly labeled/treated until they find the Womb Twin Healing Path as a solution which allows them a comfort level with living not previously achieved with other methods.

First, let’s look at the PD’s and their descriptions:

Millon's brief description of personality disorders[24]
Type of personality disorder
Guarded, defensive, distrustful and suspiciousness. Hypervigilant to the motives of others to undermine or do harm. Always seeking confirmatory evidence of hidden schemes. Feel righteous, but persecuted. People with paranoid personality disorder are characterized by a pattern of pervasive distrust and suspiciousness of others which last for a long time. They are generally difficult to work with.[25]
Apathetic, indifferent, remote, solitary, distant, humorless. Neither desire nor need human attachments. Withdrawn from relationships and prefer to be alone. Little interest in others, often seen as a loner. Minimal awareness of the feelings of themself or others. Few drives or ambitions, if any. Is an uncommon condition in which people avoid social activities and consistently shy away from interaction with others. It affects more males than females. To others, they may appear somewhat dull or humorless. Because they don't tend to show emotion, they may appear as though they don't care about what's going on around them.[26]
Eccentric, self-estranged, bizarre, absent. Exhibit peculiar mannerisms and behaviors. Think they can read thoughts of others. Preoccupied with odd daydreams and beliefs. Blur line between reality and fantasy. Magical thinking and strange beliefs. People with schizotypal personality disorder are often described as odd or eccentric and usually have few, if any, close relationships. They generally don't understand how relationships form or the impact of their behavior on others.[27]
Impulsive, irresponsible, deviant, unruly. Act without due consideration. Meet social obligations only when self-serving. Disrespect societal customs, rules, and standards. See themself as free and independent. People with antisocial personality disorder depict a long pattern of disregard for other people's rights. They often cross the line and violate these rights.[28]
Unpredictable, manipulative, unstable. Frantically fears abandonment and isolation. Experience rapidly fluctuating moods. Shift rapidly between loving and hating. See themself and others alternatively as all-good and all-bad. Unstable and frequently changing moods. People with borderline personality disorder have a pervasive pattern of instability in interpersonal relationships.[29]
Dramatic, seductive, shallow, stimulus-seeking, vain. Overreact to minor events. Exhibitionistic as a means of securing attention and favors. See themself as attractive and charming. Constantly seeking others' attention. Disorder is characterized by constant attention-seeking, emotional overreaction, and suggestibility. Their tendency to over-dramatize may impair relationships and lead to depression, but they are often high-functioning.[30]
Egotistical, arrogant, grandiose, insouciant. Preoccupied with fantasies of success, beauty, or achievement. See themself as admirable and superior, and therefore entitled to special treatment. Is a mental disorder in which people have an inflated sense of their own importance and a deep need for admiration. Those with narcissistic personality disorder believe that they're superior to others and have little regard for other people's feelings.[31]
Hesitant, self-conscious, embarrassed, anxious. Tense in social situations due to fear of rejection. Plagued by constant performance anxiety. See themself as inept, inferior, or unappealing. They experience long-standing feelings of inadequacy and are very sensitive of what others think about them.[32]
Helpless, incompetent, submissive, immature. Withdrawn from adult responsibilities. See themself as weak or fragile. Seek constant reassurance from stronger figures. They have the need to be taken care of by a person. They fear being abandoned or separated from important people in their life.[33]
Restrained, conscientious, respectful, rigid. Maintain a rule-bound lifestyle. Adhere closely to social conventions. See the world in terms of regulations and hierarchies. See themself as devoted, reliable, efficient, and productive.
Somber, discouraged, pessimistic, brooding, fatalistic. Present themself as vulnerable and abandoned. Feel valueless, guilty, and impotent. Judge themself as worthy only of criticism and contempt. Hopeless, Suicidal, Restless. This disorder can lead to aggressive acts and hallucinations.[34]
Passive–aggressive (Negativistic)
Resentful, contrary, skeptical, discontented. Resist fulfilling others’ expectations. Deliberately inefficient. Vent anger indirectly by undermining others’ goals. Alternately moody and irritable, then sullen and withdrawn. Withhold emotions. Will not communicate when there is something problematic to discuss.[35]
Explosively hostile, abrasive, cruel, dogmatic. Liable to sudden outbursts of rage. Gain satisfaction through dominating, intimidating and humiliating others. They are opinionated and close-minded. Enjoy performing brutal acts on others. Find pleasure is abusing others. Would likely engage in a sadomasochist relationship, but will not play the role of a masochist.[36]
Self-defeating (Masochistic)
Deferential, pleasure-phobic, servile, blameful, self-effacing. Encourage others to take advantage of them. Deliberately defeat own achievements. Seek condemning or mistreatful partners. They are suspect of people who treat them well. Would likely engage in a sadomasochist relationship.[36]

These descriptions read like classic Womb Twin Survivor symptoms/feelings/traits – the remarkably high incidence of similarities makes it plausible to ascertain that Personality Disorders (PDs) are clusters of womb twin phenomena previously characterized as such due to lack of Womb Twin Survivor Syndrome (WTSS) knowledge (established in 2007).

To single out one of the PD’s, Borderline Personality Disorder, its description sounds exactly like the inner life of a Womb Twin Survivor.  If this were true, and they are indeed the same thing, then these Symptoms of Disorder would actually be An Appropriate Reaction to Womb Trauma related to Twin Loss.  When we look at them that way, we dial-down the “crazy” aspect and dial-in the fascinating understanding of how the psyche copes with trauma, pre and post limbic.

So what are the chances these are the same thing?  When we look at research, it shows that BPD does appear to be a distinct diagnostic entity, although it co-occurs frequently with other mental disorders such as major depressive and bipolar II disorders, attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), substance use disorders, eating disorders, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), and with several other personality disorders.3  Being that these are also textbook symptoms of Womb Twin Survivor Syndrome, this seems to further the case.

Going further into the correlation between the two, we must not only look at the symptoms – we must look at the cause.  It is generally held that biological and environmental risk factors interact to reach a critical level of brain dysfunction resulting in symptoms of BPD.  Further, it appears that this critical degree of disturbance of brain function can be achieved by a large amount of biological risk, sometimes combined with a low amount of environmental risk, or as low biological risk coupled with high environmental risk, or intermediate levels of both.

A logical explanation of Biological Risk which seems to fit perfectly, is the pre-natal loss of a twin and the grief trauma suffered by the surviving twin, who may also have also suffered Environmental Risk factors in utero.

It makes sense that a twin without a twin, who has nowhere to put their twin identity or express the unknown trauma their body memory holds, would show up with a label like

Multiple Personality Disorder because they are truly more than one person, who lost a twin or multiple in the womb, who is severely confused about whose life they are living.  Unaware singletons in charge of writing diagnostic codes and ordering courses of treatment can only do their best, but unfortunately it’s not enough given the twin/multiple epidemic we are facing… which brings us to the the real issue:  there aren’t enough practitoners in the know about pre-natal psychology and Womb Twin Healing.

According to  Theodore Millon, Ph.D., D.Sc. "PDs's are inflexible and pervasive due to the fact that such behavior may be ego-syntonic (i.e. the patterns are consistent with the ego integrity of the individual).  This behavior can result in maladaptive coping skills, which may lead to personal problems that induce anxiety, distress or depression".  
I would like to put forth the question:  What if the ego-integrity of the individual is already compromised/damaged at birth due to womb twin loss, resulting in anxiety, distress, depression which is then exacerbated as life continues without acknowledgement or remedy?  Are we sure we are putting the right horse before the right cart?

It’s my belief we can use Womb Twin healing techniques to get to the cause of the problem for many sufferers of PD’s who are wrongly labeled and mistreated because they are being misdiagnosed due to lack of a better explanation – until now.  Perhaps not all of them are WT’s, but based on my research and work in the field, I would guess many of these people are Womb Twin Survivors who don’t know they are.

The quickest way to confirm the relationship between WTSS and PD’s would be to treat these personality orders with the Womb Twin Healing Path, preferably without traditional medicine/psychotherapeutic approaches, in order to assess whether symptoms are alleviated.  If lessening or diminishment of symptoms is achieved, then we can prove a relationship exists between WTSS and PD’s and perhaps help people alleviate these symptoms, which may really just be manifestations of keeping their ‘dream of the womb’ alive (as well as expressing their twin nature, who uses these devices to make itself known until we can know it consciously). 

With open minds, we can see these symptoms as an innocent reaction, which need acknowledgment and release - rather than a label or disease to be medicated or institutionalized.  We can go beyond asking What If? to What Now? and strive to provide proper treatment.  The proof of the correlation will be in the healing and of course, this work may need to augment some traditional approaches in some cases, but at this writing too much research and support is needed to crack the true answer to this question, even though we probably already have the answer.

April 23, 2015

"Evil Twin" Found in Woman's Brain - Admission that Teratoma is an Embryonic Twin

It's nice when they admit the truth about teratoma's being absorbed twins.
Will Yamini feel the loss of her twin now that they have been separated via surgery, despite never knowing about her twin before?  We are here for you Yamini!