January 27, 2011

“I is another.”

Arthur Rimbaud, was a French poet that lived in the second half of the 19th century. He produced his best known works while still in his late teens, and was called "an infant Shakespeare". One of his letters to Paul Demeny he talks about his believe of who a poet is, saying "I am an Other", and there are several other poets that have this idea of themselves, that they are not themselves but someone else.

The following poem from Rimbaud is a very expressive and full of rage declaration of love to, what I believe could have been, his lost twins. What do you think?

My Little Lovers

A lacrymal tincture washes
The cabbage-green skies:
Under the drooling tree with tender shoots,
Your raincoats

White with special moons
With round eyes
Knock together your kneecaps
My ugly ones!

We loved one another at that time,
Blue ugly one!
We ate soft boiled eggs
And chickweed!

One evening you consecrated me poet,
Blond ugly one:
Come down here, that I can whip you
On my lap;

I vomited your brilliantine,
Black ugly one;
You would cut off my mandolin
On the edge of my brow

Bah! my dried saliva,
Red-headed ugly one
Still infects the trenches
Of your round breast!

O my little lovers,
How I hate you!
Plaster with painful blisters
Your ugly tits!

Trample on my old pots
Of sentiment;
—Up now! be ballerinas for me
For one moment!…

Your shoulder blades are out of joint,
O my loves!
A star on your limping backs,
Turn with your turns!

And yet it is for these mutton shoulders
That I have made rhymes!
I would like to break your hips
For having loved!

Insipid pile of stars that have failed,
Fill the corners!
—You will collapse in God, saddled
With ignoble cares!

Under special moons
With round eyes,
Knock together your kneecaps,
My ugly ones!

January 23, 2011

Claire Culwell - Womb Twin surviver and abortion surviver

Claire's biological mom became pregnant with her at the age of 13. Her mother took her to an abortion clinic where she had a surgical abortion. A few weeks later she realized she was still pregnant so she found an out-of-state late-term abortion clinic to do a second abortion. At the clinic they told her she had been pregnant with twins one was aborted; one survived...



January 04, 2011

Jorge Palma

Jorge Palma's song called Só (anlone=just) 1991

Just because of existing
Just because of doubting
I have two souls in war
And I know that none will win

Just because of having two suns
Just because of hesitating
I made my bed at a crossroad
and I called this place home

And there's always someone there
Near that storm
Where feet have no ground
And the hands lose any reason

Only because of facing
Only because of destroying
I have the keys of heaven and hell
and I let time decide

And there's always someone there
Near that storm
Where feet have no ground
And hands lose any reason

Just because of existing
Just bacause of doubting
I have two souls in war
And I know that none will win, I know that none will win.

January 01, 2011

What will

the year ahead bring?  Typicall today's the day when we start on New Year's Resolutions, if we bother at all.  I've hardly ever, if at all kept mine; in a similar pattern I've very really achieved my goals so.....

At the end of "1111",and the beginning of 2011, I'm creating new pattern for myself by the baby step route.

How many times have we set goals never to achieve them? Whether it's weight loss (we'd look & feel so good in that dress, pair of jeans....); relationships, financial or another area of our lives we've never quite managed it. Today this Womb Twin Survivor has moved a little way on the path to achieving goals. (Just a little word of advice, the effectiveness of this technique, may depend on how far along your own healing path you are.) Ready for it? Ok, here goes.

If you're not setting goals for yourself (or even "things to do today") start now & start small.  eg.  "Today I will have a herbal tea at breakfast (rather than the normal black);  text new years greetings to friends withtout clever wording; watch a tv programme that makes me laugh; get the kids to bed to bed within 15 minutes of my ideal time & tidy one drawer in my desk."  And make a committment to yourself to get those tasks done.

This technique is setting yourself up for success as you give yourself a better chance of getting done those things to which you committ. After a while you'll start to realise you can achieve/get done those things which matter to you & so your sense of self-esteem improves.  

I feel delighted to have got done what those things that I'd committed to doing.  Now to keep it up!   (If you find this isn't working for you it may be because you're setting yourself too big/too many things to do in the day; that they're not that important to you or that you're at a place in your journey where you're self-sabotaging.)  Whatever scenario is true for you, remember you're in the right place for you right now; be gentle with yourself & allow your healing to continue.

Warm wishes for this Year.