July 25, 2010

Womb Twin Survivors Conference: all welcome!

I am told that the advance publicity doesn't make it clear that absolutely anyone, womb twin survivor or not, is welcome at our conference.  


( Sorry! rather distracted by writing the book about womb twin survivors.) 

Annual conference   October 1st-3rd 2010


"Womb Twin Survivors"

Venue: All Saints Pastoral Centre London Colney, Herts England. [web site]



This will be the third international OPEN SPACE conference to be held on this subject. It will be a rare opportunity for everyone to learn more about a common occurrence in pregnancy that has been largely ignored - until very recently. It will be a chance for womb twin survivors, plus the people who live with them, work with them, try to help them or just want to learn more about them, can get together and discuss these issues. Only 40 places are available, so early booking is recommended.

We need to know exact numbers for forward planning, so please register your intention to come as soon as you can : we can arrange payment later. (Payment by credit card or PayPal)

Our conference is YOUR conference!  Register here 

("Open space" means we can talk about anything we want, in 12 different spaces on the Saturday and Sunday, and you can come along and make a presentation yourself if you like if there is something special you need to talk about or discuss. I know that hoarding/clutter is one thing and food is another - what would YOU like to come and talk about? )

Comments please! 

July 23, 2010

Progress in Ireland....

Last week a poster advertising a lecture on Bi-polar caught my eye.   This was a chance to meet someone who was regularly treating womb twin survivors & was not aware of it.   This someone was pshychiatrist Dr. Patrick McKeown of St. Patrick's Hospital, Dublin.  Dr McKeown is also a director of Aware, an Irish Mental Health Charity.

When I arrived at the Swift Hall I met another of Aware's Director who told me that it would not be possible to see the Doc because he was so busy.  I gave her a copy of "Untwinned" with my contact details & implored her to get him to read it explaining that one in ten of the audience couple probably be treated without medication.  It was strange sitting with 150 people who probably depend on Lithium, Epilim or some other chemical concoction to keep them "balanced" when there was knowledge available that could set many of them free.

The lecture covered symptoms, treatments regimes, types of "BP" (bi-polar) & something called "co-morbidity" - essential two simultaneously occcuring symptoms. eg.  Suicidal tendencies & manic behaviour.  Dr McKeown said "Where these co-morbid conditions get in we don't really know ...."  Well, we've a good idea, haven't we?  
  
Anyway, I did succeed in meeting Dr. K who was aware of the impact of losing a born twin, but not the womb twin survivor phenomenom.  He is going to read the book so let's hope that results in more people being put our way & fewer to the pharmacy!





July 19, 2010

Hello From British Columbia,Canada

Blog post for July 20th 2010,

Sometimes life is such a funny thing. Not funny Ha ,ha, but funny, insert the theme song to the Twilight Zone, T.V. Programme. That old familiar high pitched 'nee ne, nee ne, nee ne, nee ne' my favorite television program of my childhood. Memories of a simpler time when the world was not yet plugged into cell phones, iPods, PC's, DVD's, CD's& MP3's. Over scheduled, over stimulated, and over loaded. When communicating actually meant having a conversation with out using abbreviations. AND with an actual person, either in person (wow, what a concept!) or at least on the other end of a telephone line. A time when kids actually respected their Elders, granted, maybe out of fear than out of respect. But respected none the less. Where the English language was actually a thoughtful and thought out experience. Not littered with slang and curse words. When going down to the corner store with 2 bits could buy you more junk food loaded with penny candies, than you could actually eat in one sitting. I miss those almost forgotten by-gone days of my childhood.

The other day I got a call from my niece, whom I miss dearly. Unfortunately she lives approx. 365 km from me ( or 3 1/2 hours through the Rocky Mountains ). Remarkably, she is a part time co-parent of four boys all aged 5 and under. Yes, she is a super-Mom in my eyes. Something she claims she learned of me. In this conversation she explained that she just needed some Auntie time, as it has been a while since we have had any quality time together. We have always been very close through the years. We have ALWAYS been there for each other through thick and thin. I was remiss at forgetting the intimacy of the familial bond. Years and years of shared memories, experiences, morel support and history. It's a rare luxury for us to enjoy over an hour long, uninterrupted conversation. ( Finding out that the boys were actually down for a nap.)


Ahhh, lovely nap time!


During the course of the conversation she brought me up to speed on the goings on in her busy life. She shared with me her recent ups and downs and challenges. She shared with me funny stories that can only come from raising 4 boys, which made me laugh till I cried.


One story in particular amazed me. My niece told me that for the past month or so, her son has been playing with an 'imaginary friend'. I told her that this is totally normal and that she had a friend when she was little too. (so did her brothers) My niece told me how one day she was in the kitchen when she over heard my nephew. He was splitting a gut, belly laughing his head off. Curiosity got the better of her so she had to go investigate. He was all alone in him room entertaining himself , playing cars. She asked him why was he laughing,? He said he was just playing with his friend. Later that day she asked her ex if he had noticed the boy playing with an imaginary friend. Well, not only had the boy been playing with his friend, but that they in fact play all the time and have great fun. My nieces' ex also revealed that the boy talks to him all the time about his imaginary friend. But refuses to talk to her about him!


My nephew revealed to his Dad that his friends' name is MICHAEL. My niece asked me if I knew anyone named Michael close to the family who had passed away. Shocked, I told her that my twins name was Michael! That her little son , who could never have known his Great Uncle THIS side of life, has unknowingly been playing with him for the past month or so! I was absolutely convinced, while my niece was struck silent. I was certain that my nephew was being entertained by my dear long dead twin brother.


All at once I was jealous that he was spending time with my nephew and not me! But in the very same instant I was happier than happy that Michael was still in some way claiming our family. Interacting with the youngest members as an imaginary friend. In spite of his absence in my life, he is a great playmate to my great nephew. Then as my nephew woke from his nap, refreshed,ready for lunch, and more play. My niece told him Auntie Leslie was on the phone, through the phone line I could hear his little voice. I told him to say hi to his friend for me, my twin brother, Michael. At that he mischievously giggled , a knowing giggle and hollered "No Way"! Giving me all the validation I needed. Confirmed

Yeah, life IS sometimes quite funny....

When we go and leave this world we don't really leave.

Live In Peace and Peace Will Live in You!

July 18, 2010

WombTwin.com Ltd

July 17th was the third birthday of WombTwin.com Ltd,  the non-profit organisation with members which  has initiated special support for womb twin survivors around the world.

A document telling the whole extraordinary story of the development of WombTwin.com  can be downloaded here. 


July 12, 2010

HOW MANY PEOPLE AM I? MY PROBLEM WITH SIMPLE NUMBERS

In my life as a single person, with no concept of my wombtwin(s), I always wondered why I had SO MANY interests, skills, and a desire to NOT settle on one thing, because it would deprive me of doing all the other things that interested me. Focusing on one thing was very disappointing. As a child and passionate musician from the very beginning, I wanted to play ALL the instruments in the orchestra. I settled on being a pretty good violinist, but also studied the piano and flute, with accompanying sadness that I couldn’t master them too. As a college student, I did not want to choose a major, because that meant I would have to give up studying other things in depth. Being interested, and very good at, math, and also interested in French and music, I ended up as a psychology major. Although I am a pretty good speaker of the French language, I studied one year of German and Spanish, and feel sorry that I can’t speak them with more proficiency, not to mention ALL the languages in the western world.

It turns out that, as I discovered that I am a wombtwin with a brother I lost, and maybe someone else too, I learned that I have a severe problem with simple numbers. I know that “a couple” means two. Those “twos” who have tortured me by pointing out my singleness, those wedding rings that have reminded me that I am only one, and any sentences containing the word “we” or “my husband/wife/partner and I” led me into the blackest hole that was maybe responsible for discovering I am a wombtwin. The exact number “2” or any implication that someone was part of a twosome, caused me to bury myself in my house and my bed, because you can’t go into the world without encountering the above. Back to the subject: My brilliant and compassionate guide in the wombtwin journey and I discovered that I have mistaken the phrase “a couple of…” to be some undefined number, what others call “a few of,” a number of maybe 2, 3, or 4, but definitely not exactly 2. So is my “couple” my wombtwin and and I as one, my mother as the second? My 2 twins (triplets) as one and me as 2? My wombtwin and I as “one or so” and some other combination of people, such as my parents as another “one or so?” Exactly what does “a couple of” mean?

I have also learned that I do unusual and messy things when it comes to basic counting. I just bought 3 expensive tickets for my daughter and myself to a top notch award winning musical, thinking I’ll find someone for the third space (My wombtwin? My womb triplets sharing a seat because they’re so small?) I have one extra place at my kitchen table than I need, even with the expected guests that may come by, because you never know if an extra person may surprise me. While I have complained about the trauma of being in some kind of triangle all my life, which I had to manage because 3 is hard (ie. making sure my mother didn’t get jealous of my father’s relationship with me) I find myself in threes more than probability could possibly create (ie. my husband, me, and his mistress!). Listing them all would take up too much space.

In this wonderful and painful path of discovery, I find myself saying “I have done/do enough things for 3 people.” Which is true, and is causing me to explore the possibility of a third one. I am finally starting, actually forcing myself, to narrow down to 2 or 3 things, which is a great improvement from infinity. I am finding some rewards from aiming to do just “a couple of” things well. I am also trying to discover just exactly how many people I am.

July 08, 2010

Our annual conference is NOT just for young people!

I had an email today from someone who thinks that the annual conference is just for young people and their families - a mistake!! The womb twin survivors in any family may be YOU!

Claudia will be speaking about her new workbook for young womb twin survivors, but the theme "A womb twin survivor in the family" is universal, for all ages. The Open Space Event may be on any topic, the people who turn up decide that. The healing workshops on the Sunday will be arranged by whoever is there.
Its a grand chance to be together, all staying in the same place, all eating together taking walks, having lots of chats etc. The prices are reasonable and include ALL food etc.

Make your booking now online here and we will arrange payment with you later.

Book now, don't miss out! It will be the best yet! Everyone is welcome!

Book online now

July 01, 2010

Hallo iedereen,

Het heeft wat voeten in de aarde gehad, maar onze Belgische website wombtwin.be is geboren!

Ga zeker eens een kijkje nemen op www.wombtwin.be.

Op zaterdag 18 september 2010 organiseren wij ons eerste praatcafé!
Dit is volledig gratis. Iedereen die belangstelling heeft, is van harte welkom.

Wombtwincafé is een praatcafé voor en door wombtwin survivors. Het is een samenkomen van mensen, die zelf wombtwin survivor (voelen te) zijn of die op één of andere manier in contact komen met wombtwin survivors.

In een ontspannen sfeer kan je kennis maken met anderen, nuttige informatie opdoen en ervaringen uitwisselen. Elk praatcafé zal eerst een ander aspect van het wombtwin-survivor-zijn worden belicht. Nadien is er tijd om onderling van gedachten te wisselen en vragen te stellen, te 'praten' met mekaar.
Gewoon luisteren kan uiteraard net zo goed.

We hopen jullie daar te ontmoeten.

Voor meer info, surf naar www.wombtwin.be

Koen


Hi everyone,

It has taken some time, but the new belgian website wombtwin.be is born!

Go and have a look on www.wombtwin.be.

Our first event will be our talk cafe, held on saturday, september 18th 2010.
Participation is free. Everybody who is interested, is more than welcome.

Wombtwincafé is a talk cafe made by and for wombtwin survivors. It is a place where you can meet people, who (feel that they) are wombtwin survivors themselves or in some way are in contact with wombtwin survivors.

In our wombtwincafe you can meet other people, pick up useful information and share your experiences. Each time we meet, another topic of being a wombtwin survivor will be discussed. After that, there is time to share your thoughts and ask questions, to 'talk' with each other. If you only want to listen, that is fine as well.

Hope to meet you there.

For more info, go to www.wombtwin.be.

Koen