The Vanishing Twin Syndrome is personified by certain personality characteristics, gestational features and spiritual lessons. There is a higher incidence of this syndrome in healers. The theory is that if they could not save their own twin, their destiny is to dedicate themselves to saving others in the world. Do you have a vanishing twin?
Lawrence Wright’s article, Double Mystery published in the New Yorker, August 7, 1995 explained that one out of eighty or ninety live human births produces twins. With the advent of ultrasonography it has been determined that at least one-eighth of all natural pregnancies begin as twins. This is evident when the first ultrasound detects twins and the second one does not. So what happens to these twins? Often, one external sign of a vanishing twin is vaginal bleeding. Using emotional clearing, I often detect vanishing twins. It seems to be more common with people in “care-giving” fields. Here are some of the findings and similarities I have put together over the years with Vanishing Twin Syndrome patients:
Typical Personality Characteristics of the Surviving Twin:
Control Issues: The surviving twin often has control issues and it may be based on the premise that since they couldn’t control what happened in utero, they are doing everything in their power to do so now.
Survivor’s guilt: There is a lot of survivor’s guilt for taking the nutrition from the vanishing twin, not being able to help prevent the death of the twin and viewing this resorption process in utero. Once identifying this occurrence, the patient must go through the grieving process like in any death of someone that means a great deal to them. They experience loss, guilt, grief and anger at being separated from the twin. Sometimes the survivor does not care if they live or die and may occasionally have thoughts of suicide.
No competition: Survivors don’t usually like competitive sports unless they are competing against themselves. They subconsciously feel that if they compete with others, death may result. They want everyone to get along and work together.
Sabotaging relationships: Sabotaging happens when relationships start going too well. The superconscious/subconscious thinking is that if they get close to someone that they will be in danger and might die from the actions of the surviving twin. Because they love this person so much, they will push them away to protect them. They also seem to self-sabotage to make sure they have paid for what their role was that caused their twin to depart in utero.
Not deserving: The survivor often feels they don’t deserve all the good this world has to offer so they find ways to exclude themselves from receiving good. They are major givers, but not very accepting takers.
Money issues: These are motivated people. Because they do such good in the world, often money follows. The problem is that Vanishing Twins don’t seem to be able to hold onto the money because they self-sabotage. Survivor’s guilt prevents them from using the money for their own care. They give it away or let it flow through their hands, not keeping any of it for themselves.
Fascination with or friends with twins: Twins have a special energetic bonding with each other which lasts their entire lives. Just because your twin left you in utero, doesn’t break that energetic bond. And if you don’t feel your twin still around you, naturally you will be attracted to twin energy.
Feeling abandoned, left out, and excluded: These are the kids who get picked last for the team, who don’t make friends easily and feel like other’s can’t relate to what they are going through. They are searching for close relationships but can’t seem to find them. Often they would rather spend time with older people than kids their own age.
Low self-esteem, lack of self-love: This is one of the major Spiritual lessons that the survivor must work through before they can fully be the gift to the world that God intends. Low self esteem is intertwined with Unconditional Love of Self, Trust and Discernment, and Worthiness lessons. See handout on Spiritual Lessons for more on this.
Vanishing Twins are often in the Healing Field: Since they could not heal the situation in utero, they are intent on healing the world and saving others. There are lots of surviving twins who are massage therapists, doctors and nurses.
Vanishing Twins say or think, “I wish I could find somebody like me.”
Other Weird Stuff: I actually had one woman I was working on take out a picture from her wallet to show me who her vanishing twin was. She explained that she believed in reincarnation and that she somehow felt attached to this man. When I asked her if she had ever met the man she said she hadn’t, but that she felt compelled to cut his picture out and carry it around with her. At the time she had had the picture in her wallet for over two years.
How much do you know about your gestation and birth? The following items are clues in determining if you have a vanishing twin:
Trauma to the mother: Three to four months in utero is about the time the twin “checks out” and is being reabsorbed by the body. What are some causes? Some include getting hit in the stomach, car accidents, falling down a flight of stairs, emotional trauma, experiencing high fever from an illness, violent vomiting, etc.
Did your mother smoke? Studies show that smoking lowers the oxygen content of the blood so less oxygen is available to the fetus. Smoking is also associated with low birth weights. So does that mean there is less available nutrition for two fetuses?
History of twins in the bloodlines: Are there twins in the family? If so, there is a greater chance of repeating that within the same family lines.
Long labor: Here’s how this works–when you have one baby ready to come out, the placenta (the sac that contains the fetus) and the pituitary gland produce a certain amount of a hormone called oxytocin (also called pitocin). The function of oxytocin is to cause muscular contractions to push the baby out. So, if there are two babies, then there is a proportionately larger amount of oxytocin. But, if one of the fetuses dies, there is not enough oxytocin to push out the extra residual placenta associated with the dead fetus, and the birthing process takes much longer. These days, a cesarean section is performed when the shutdown occurs to take the stress off the fetus.
No ultrasound background: If you were born before the 60’s, most likely your mom did not have an ultrasound so twins could easily be missed. An x-ray was only rarely taken because we didn’t want to expose the baby to radiation unnecessarily.
Giving birth in a hospital before the 70’s: There used to be a time when doctors only gave their patient the information they thought they needed to know at the time. If the mother had a difficult birth or there was extra placenta or a resorbed fetal membranes, the doctor gave these to the nurse who disposed of them and did not tell the mother about it. I think midwives were a little more open to this miracle and included mothers in the information they gathered about their birthing and findings. Many midwives I’ve talked with have these placentas in their freezers and use them to educate other midwives about the process. Also, some midwives would save these extra placental tissues for the mother for a special burial ceremony later.
Many eggs released, few fertilized: A woman’s ovaries produce hundreds of thousands of eggs from the ovarian tissue over her reproductive lifetime. Only a few of these are released each month. It takes the influence of several million sperm surrounding the egg for one to finally penetrate the egg and fertilize it. It seems as we get older, that twins are more common. Maybe it’s our body’s last ditch effort to procreate.
Imperfections or improper nutrients reaching both feti: It would make sense that not every egg is perfect and not every sperm is perfect. When the imperfection is too great, problems can occur in regards to the available nutrition for one or both of the babies. When this happens, the fetus starves and is then resorbed back into the body. The remaining fetus then has enough nutrition to grow to full-term.
Do you have any dermoid cysts? This is a little tumor made of every conceivable type of cell from skin cells, hair cells, tooth cells and more. Evidence of a resorbed fetus or a vanishing twin? I think so.
Life Lessons associated with the Vanishing Twin Syndrome:
These are the typical issues that the surviving twin must work through to live a full, happy, and productive life. Although many other people without twins also have to work through these issues, I see these lessons every time with those who have a vanishing twin.
- I love and accept myself unconditionally.
I am important and a gift to our world.
I deserve all the good this world has to offer.
I am worthy.
I forgive myself.
I forgive God/Jesus/My Higher Power.
God loves me.
© 2005 by Dr. Denice M. Moffat
This article comes with reprint rights providing no changes are made and the resource box below accompanies it.
Dr. Denice Moffat is a practicing naturopath, medical intuitive, and veterinarian working on the family unit (which includes humans and animals) through her phone consultation practice established in 1993. She has a content-rich website at http://www.NaturalHealthTechniques.com and free monthly newsletter. She has a vanishing twin sister.
i am this..all of this and more, a demon
ReplyDeleteIt may feel like a demon but its only a prebirth memory and can be healed. More and more womb twuin survivors are discvovering that with the right kind of information, understanding and support they can come to terms and move on. take a look at the various web sites and blogs and see what you can discover about your own womb twin. There is hope and healing - and of course all of us here to help you along the healing path.
ReplyDeleteAlthea
After 10 years of pain and doctor's visits, they have finally discovered that I have a dermoid. I have been doing much research and came across your information here. It seems like the medical professionals are not in agreement in regard to the cause of these tumors. One doctor suggests that it is caused by a vanished twin and the other claims it is a germ cell malfunction. Based on everything I have uncovered through research, discussion with others who have dermoids, and my own family history, I have to believe that the dermoid cyst is in fact remnants of a twin. My aunt also had a dermoid and on her ovary. We have several cases of twins in our family. Most of the people I have spoken with also have twins in their family history. It does not seem to be coincidental for so many people that have dermoids to also carry twins in their lineage. I am a bit blown away by your womb twin survivor theory because it eerily describes my personality and thoughts. I seem to have always had some inclination that something was missing from my life, even as a very small child. I have had many interesting and unusual events occur in my life that I can now relate to this. Can you tell me if you have encountered anyone who has experienced paranormal or supernatural events? I find that many with this condition claim to have experienced some type of phenomenon in their life that they believe is related to it. I found this to be intriguing and was curious if anyone has shared similar accounts with you.
ReplyDeleteParanormal events do seem to be common among womb twin survivors. But that doesn't mean the prenatal loss of a twin is not a totally natural and real phenomenon. one contributory fact is the hypersensitivity and hyper-awareness of some womb twin survivors. They "tune in" to processes and effects that are invisible to others. There are stories of young babies who lie and stare fixedly at a corner of the room, and later chat away to someone who isn't there. Then later they have an imaginary friend....... More stories here http://wombtwin.com/about/stories.php
ReplyDeleteI've always had an interest in twins, and a wish that I had one of my own. I feel like nobody quite gets me, and I've always been looking for that one absolute best friend. I also have struggled with self-harm, and have never been able to identify a cause for it. Do you think that I had a vanished twin?
ReplyDeleteI have a brother who thinks he had a vanishing twin, he freaked my mother out who is now in her 70's by asking her way too many inappropriate questions about afterbirth and stuff. There is absolutely no physical evidence to support this and my mother says nothing out of the ordinary happened during her labor to support his theory.
ReplyDeleteWe do have twins on both sides of our families but it seems to me that this fixation he has has become unhealthy and is bordering on a mental illness. In fact I suspect he is using it as a crutch and a distraction to avoid getting serious medial help for his mental health issues. What good is spending your whole life grieving for something that may or may not have been in your life if it becomes a negative influence and pushes everyone you could be close to away? I feel like my brother has left us long ago, he was always mentally challenged, but lately it's just gotten worse. My advice to anyone trying to deal with this is to keep it in eprspective, there are many lioving people on this planet you can still have a relationship with, and in all reality if your twin had survived they would just have been another human being who you loved yes, but who also would have p'd you off sometimes and would have just been human like everyone else. I miss my brother and he is still here, that is what pining for someone who may or may not have existed has done to him, and it is a shame.
By the way I am the commentor from above, I just wanted to add I wish no offence to anyone feeling this loss in their life, and I have no problem with my brother feeling that this is his reality. it is how he is handling the thought of it and how he is using it as a stick to beat himself and everyone who loves him with it that is annoying me at the moment. I wish he could enjoy his life more and stop pining for things he may never find. Life is short and love is important and the living can love you too. Seems such a waste of his life, that is all I meant but I realised my post above may have seemed harsh, right now I don't know what to do, he seems like a lost cause, a lost soul, and that is what he is right now.
ReplyDeleteYour brother is a lost soul, but never a lost cause. He will always need to be surrounded by loving and understanding people. I realize that being a wombtwin survivor is a difficult concept for a lot of people to grasp. A lot of survivors themselves have that problem. It may seem as if he is "beating himself up" as you say, and he probably is going through a lot of anger, depression, and even self-hatred, because a lot of us blame ourselves for the loss of our twins, that special person we can never re-create here on earth. That's why its even more important to hang in there with him, let him know you love him and care about him. Encourage him to talk about his darkest feelings... it helps to get all that out. It may not improve in a few short weeks or months, but it is a start. Eventually, your brother may come around to better understand what is going on within himself (Reading everything on wombtwin survivors is a BIG help) and when he does, he will relax more and realize that he is not to blame for what happened, and life can and will get better. I will keep him and you in my prayers.
ReplyDeleteThank you for your response, which I have only found now. Unfortunately he is too difficult to show any more love around, as he acts the complete opposite to needing love or understanding of any kind and he responds to offers of help with sarcasm and a very sharp tongue. His cruelty is too much for me so I have had to walk away from him until he admits he needs help and gets some. It's all very well to claim that you lost a twin in the womb (when there is no proof except a feeling), but it's what you do with that information and how you go on living that matters. Unfortunately he is using it as a stick to beat himself and anyone else standing by with, and I can't take it. All of this "hard for everyone else to understand" stuff, well frankly yes it is, all of his other siblings have gone through as much as, if not more heartache since being born than this and we learn to deal with it ourselves without punishing our siblings around us or subjecting them to the crap he does, so no, I don't think even if this happened to him that it warrants being thought of as special....we all have our crosses to bear, no one should be allowed hold their family to ransom emotionally, regardless of what losses they feel. He is obsessed with this, to the point he has abandoned his only living family. He is obsessed with something that MAY have happened and he isn't living, he just exists, joylessly.
ReplyDeleteThere's only so much support you can offer and get the head bitten off of you (that's even when you're just conversing about every day stuff) without then thinking sod this I am out of here. And that's what I've had to do to keep my own sanity. As I am sure you can gather, I am very angry right now. Thank you for your thoughts. And prayers, but right now, to me... he is a lost cause. If this is such a common phenomena of nature, we are designed to deal with what nature throws at us and live with it, no one needs to be singled out as being special if this is what has happened to them. They should be able to deal with it and not be hand wringing the entire rest of their life. Telling them that they are special or doomed to be depressed, "different" or any way beneath or above anyone else is, quite frankly, irresponsible, and messing with the heads of the vulnerable. I don't know if my brother had a vanishing twin. I don't rule it out or think it's so absurd as to be impossible and that's not what the problem is. I just know that since he got the notion into his head his mental state has deteriorated, he has hurt people, and he doesn't seem to be getting a lot out of it. Maybe he is just mentally ill and this is a convenient label for him to attach himself too, to explain it. Who knows. All I know is that life is for the living, and this is an absurd way to spend one's precious time on earth, hurting your family and mourning something for far too long, something that nature didn't intend for her own reasons in the first place.This is why so many people, I presume, find it difficult to go there with it.